United Thread - 2023/24

[KentBlue]

Was walking through a park in Peckham earlier with my city top on, had some South East London wannabe gangster in a United top get in my face and kick my dog. Lovely bunch

They kicked your poochie? Bastards! I'm an animal lover so I hope karma gets its revenge - soon. There's absolutely NO justification in hurting innocent animals, none whatsoever, so fingers crossed some big 6'-6" ex-para, martial arts specialist evens the scales up a bit.

Uber cunts!

 

[Ithryn Luin]

Seen her on sky, hate her with a passion, cockney rag

That one frightening Munter! Who the hell is she?

 

[Betterdeedthan red]

Happens every year mate.

They are signing half the world's population in players and we're selling everyone in our first 11.

If that happened we will still be better than them

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[bluethrunthru]

Just read they're going to sign mainoo to a new contract quadrupling his wage, £80 per match seems a bit steep so early in his stellar career.

He gets jelly and cream too you know

 

[deegee33]

He gets jelly and cream too you know

Only when they win, that's how he keeps his boyish figure. Luke Shaw has it after every match, sometimes at the half.

 

[bluethrunthru]

Only when they win, that's how he keeps his boyish figure. Luke Shaw has it after every match, sometimes at the half.

Shaw is like Dr Who but its not fish fingers its sausage rolls and he doesn't dip them in custard he prefers dripping

 

[bluetonium]

Just seen that the scum have been awarded £3.9m for winning the fa cup.

Lifting that trophy has also apparently triggered a clause in Mason Mount's, meaning they have to pay Chelsea £5m. Potentially the clause was only triggered because Mount appeared in the final, being subbed on in the 93rd minute.

Somewhere there is a brewery missing it's Chief of Royal Piss Ups.

 

[Vienna_70]

Had a read on the Caf's "Pep's all-time XI". They are so ridiculously biased that they are coming up with the smallest reasons to not include any of our players in it, you wonder why they even have the thread in the first place.

One hilarious comment even said we have no "all-time greats" in Pep's 8 years here, so it was surprising to them how much we won. Work that one out.

Apparently a record-breaking, treble-winning, 4-in-a-row league winning team of players can't get into Pep's all-time.

That just shows how much the last eight years have hurt the sad bastards.

 

[bigA]

1st week of post season and already the media are doing their utd pr shit.

Yesterday they was signing Braithwaite.
Today they are signing Chalobah.

Got all this shite all fuckin summer again.

The media have got it all wrong as usual due to a dodgy phone line. What the press officer really said was that United were signing a deal with Laithwaites to keep the old pisscan Ferguson topped up as it was cheaper to buy wine than single malt whiskey (courtesy of Scruffy Jim's cost cutting exercise) and they are signing Shalamar on an exclusive contract to provide half time entertainment at Old Trafford. Again more cheap and cheerful innovations from Scruffy Jim.