United Thread - 2023/24

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iwasthere1968 said:
Mmmm maybe if

1. We keep all gate receipts
2. All food and and drink receipts are ours , price rise incoming.
3. A flat charge for all games say £5 m each game.
4. We decide on ticket prices ...
5. Upfront payment of (3)
6 . Upfront payment for damage, say £20 m
7. They deal with policing costs
8. We get tv receipts.
9. Anything else we think of at any time.
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10. A thorough fumigation after each rag match.
 
BeerIsTheBest said:
Ha good one. Never looked carefully at the Swamp dwellers in the photo and wondered why the doughnut thief was there.
Pick your own, but my favourite is the guy with the beaming smile looking down at his 8 year-old son thinking…..look at the football legacy I’m passing on, non-stop success and unlimited piss taking of Bertie’s.
Bet the dads in therapy, the lads now wearing a Haaland shirt and their mother fucked off with a blue.
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Nigel Mansell stood behind the blonde lady in the middle. He had asked somebody for direction to the pit and finished up there.
 
The Lightbowne Cowboy said:
There's a crack up in the ceiling
And the Stretford end is leeeakin
Out of title race ain't funnyyy
And after spending all that moneyyy
It is you fuckin red CUNTS.

OK The last bit didn't flow, but it did the job. And any excuse to play with a Kinks lyric :)
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It's the thought that counts.
 
iwasthere1968 said:
Mmmm maybe if

1. We keep all gate receipts
2. All food and and drink receipts are ours , price rise incoming.
3. A flat charge for all games say £5 m each game.
4. We decide on ticket prices ...
5. Upfront payment of (3)
6 . Upfront payment for damage, say £20 m
7. They deal with policing costs
8. We get tv receipts.
9. Anything else we think of at any time.
Click to expand...
10. They start every game 1-0 down.
 
Just had a thought. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if nited shared our ground for a couple of seasons whilst building a new stadium in carrington and we imposed the same set of rules regarding season tickets. That if u miss a game you can’t go to the next home game and wouldn’t it be even more wonderful if they get relegated at ours one season in.
 
If you are a Glazer, tent peg or one of the sad rag fans you are quietly saying a prayer of thanks to the virgin mary/buddah/allah or any other made up religious grifter for the Darren England shit show that cost liverpool the title last Saturday night.
Without that, everyone would be asking why a bunch of overpaid wankers struggled and got fine tuned by Crystal fuckin' Palace.
They brought on an Easter Island statue they do not even want at the club as an emergency striker ! They stripped him of the captaincy, they publicly humiliated him, they basically told him to fuck off as he was shit and then said 'go on son, score an equaliser for us'
I almost wish the liverpool team hadn't been shot by Azerbaijani terrorists so keeping the rags out of the headlines.
 
Spanishbob said:
Just had a thought. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if nited shared our ground for a couple of seasons whilst building a new stadium in carrington and we imposed the same set of rules regarding season tickets. That if u miss a game you can’t go to the next home game and wouldn’t it be even more wonderful if they get relegated at ours one season in.
Click to expand...
No, fuck the rag bastards I would be fucking furious if we let them use our ground
 
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