United Thread - 2023/24

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A guy's dog gets run over by a bin wagon, there's blood and guts everywhere, but a small bottle falls from the bin wagon at his feet. He opens the bottle and a genie says " I can grant you one wish, what will it be master?"
"I'd like you to fix my dog", says the man
The genie replies " I'm not sure master, there's bits of dog all over the place, look there on the lamp-post, there on the road and there in the grid".
"Ok" said the man, "Make man united into a Premier League force"
"Let's have another look at that dog" said the genie

boom boom tush.
 
It wasn't you it was me, I turned it on and literally 3 seconds later the twat scored the winner.

It always happens to me but even by my usual standards that was just ridiculous.

I promise I won't tune into anymore of their games from now on unless they're at least 3-0 down with 30 seconds remaining.
Same for me with the radio. Ahh well, another night of self-flagellation it is then…
 
Quality teams stand out from the rest and they look like they can beat everybody home or away, They have a system and can spray the ball around the field or have players that can take the ball into midfield and can pass or just keep the ball for fun.

Then you have UNITED a hot potato team that boots the shit out of the ball upfield in the hope it falls to one of their players, You have to be daft if you think over a 38-game season with the teams we have in the premier league you will end up in the top 4,

This is why the match Officials play a major part in the league with United, They help them get enough points to keep them in places they don't deserve on merit.
 
Unfortunately the win has come at the wrong time international break after Sundays games,and they’d have been giddy as fuck looking and wanting the next game wouldn’t be surprised they fluff their lines the game after international break and it’s back to square one for the rags again..
 
Unfortunately the win has come at the wrong time international break after Sundays games,and they’d have been giddy as fuck looking and wanting the next game wouldn’t be surprised they fluff their lines the game after international break and it’s back to square one for the rags again..
and that's unfortunate because?
 
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