REDKNAPP THREATENS BAN ON CLICHED, PLATITUDINOUS BULLSHIT
02-11-10
HARRY Redknapp has threatened a blackout of worthless, instantly forgettable post-match comments which ultimately demean both him and you.
It is alleged that air was forced through one of these, needlessly
The Spurs manager, who gets paid more in a year than you will in two lifetimes to pick some footballers, said that if the FA sanctions him for saying some words about a referee then he would refuse to stand next to someone from a newspaper or television channel and say words like 'they showed a lot of passion out there' or 'that was an appalling decision'.
Redknapp is facing action from the FA for being angry about something a referee did during a football match and then expressing his feelings about it to some other people.
Footballologists said that refereeing a football match could never be an exact science and referees can often make unintentional mistakes, but also stressed that those with a vested interest in the outcome of the match may be temporarily irked by these non-deliberate errors.
But an FA spokesman said: "It is simply not acceptable to criticise a referee in these ter... oh God, d'you know what? I can't do this any more. I don't fucking care what he said. Do you? I mean, how can this possibly matter to anyone?"
He added: "What are we doing with our lives? Do you know what I'm saying? I am begging you, please tell me - what the fuck are we doing with our lives?"
The spokesman then began to laugh with increasing hysteria before breaking down into heaving, desperate sobs and saying 'I'm sorry' over and over again to no-one in particular.
Meanwhile Redknapp has issued a list of the things that some people will not be able to hear him say if the FA decide to punish him for whatever the thing was in paragraph three.
Phrases include: 'Very talented', 'excellent workrate' and 'I have just begun hormone treatment in advance of sexual reassignment surgery'.