What is the Most Embarrasing thing you have done/said

[-dabz-]

I went to a wedding once and saw my mates mum who I hadn't seen for some time.
I remarked on how well she was looking and how tanned she looked. I said to her, have you been away or on a sunbed or something, she just sighed and said "no". My mate sat at the side of me leaned over and told me she had liver/kidney cancer. She was jaundiced.

I wanted the ground to swallow me there and then. Bah!

 

[wrongun73]

went to a kiddies fun day on a bank holiday weekend at denton criket club one summer.
the place was absolutely rammed, inside and out, anyway we was sat there having a drink when i decided to get up for a piss. i must have been sat in a weird position because when i put weight on my left leg there was fuck all there, needless to say i went flying into a load of tables knocking about 20 drinks all over the floor. i had to try and explain that id only took the head off my first pint before trying to walk again, knocking another 2 or 3 tables over! i nearly got fucking lynched haha.

 

[Sultana of Brunei]

On my first ever ski holiday in Italy I learnt to ski for 2 days and thought fuck it - I'll just go for a red run. I was doing OK but soon gathered pace and knew I was not going to be able to stop. I spotted a restaurant half way down the slope with a slight ramp up to it and thought that'll do.

However, by this point I was absolutely flying and went up the ramp and crashed into a table full of Germans eating lunch on a table outside sending plates, drinks and ashtrays flying into the air and ended up lying horizontal across the table. I'd like to say that I apologise profusely and compensated them for their loss, however I was so embarrassed I gathered up my skis and legged it.

 

[The Beast 111]

its still ringing the firebrigade coz of the pilot light in the boiler the other day

 

[Wrighty Wrexham]

On my first ever ski holiday in Italy I learnt to ski for 2 days and thought fuck it - I'll just go for a red run. I was doing OK but soon gathered pace and knew I was not going to be able to stop. I spotted a restaurant half way down the slope with a slight ramp up to it and thought that'll do.

However, by this point I was absolutely flying and went up the ramp and crashed into a table full of Germans eating lunch on a table outside sending plates, drinks and ashtrays flying into the air and ended up lying horizontal across the table. I'd like to say that I apologise profusely and compensated them for their loss, however I was so embarrassed I gathered up my skis and legged it.

I like this one!! :)

 

[Kinky Dribbler]

Shopping with the missus in Morrisons once, we separated to go and get stuff from different aisles. I got my stuff, then spotted her from the back, walking down another aisle. I crept up behind her and slapped her arse and wolf-whistled.


Poor, confused, scared lass.. definitely wasn't my girlfriend.
D'OH!

 

[jd-blue]

has to be getting caught taking a leak in an alley, when this old woman came round the corner, anyway, i legged it to catch up with my mates, at the end of the alley, was my mates house, anyway we decided to wait for the old lady to go past before going in because its a long drive, anyway she saw us hiding behind the gates haha, she had a massive rant about it being illegal but we all couldnt stop laughing haha

 

[Esteban de la Sexface]

fell in a ditch coming home from a pre wedding piss up taking a short cut through the fields to my GF's dad's house. Covered from head to toe in shite. Got back to the house and knocked on the window, needless to say I couldn't go in the house, so the missus took me out back and stripped me naked. I was in the process of getting hosed down when her sister and a couple of her mates came back from a night out..

the shame of it

 

[LongsightM13]

I remember I was at a dinner one night with a famous person who was a recovering alcoholic. I met him at the dinner, all very nice and the rest of it.

Then the next day I saw him at a game. I took one look at him and said "f**k me mate, you must have had a few last night, you look rough as f**k"

To which he replied "Errrr, I umm, didn't drink, I don't drink".

Whoops. My bad.

Alex Ferguson?

 

[Prestwich_Blue]

Shopping with the missus in Morrisons once, we separated to go and get stuff from different aisles. I got my stuff, then spotted her from the back, walking down another aisle. I crept up behind her and slapped her arse and wolf-whistled.


Poor, confused, scared lass.. definitely wasn't my girlfriend.
D'OH!

Did the same in the departure lounge at Gatwick Airport to someone who, from behind, looked identical to a former colleague and was even wearing an identical jacket to the one she used to wear.

Slapped her on the back and said something like "Fancy seeing you, you old tart" and this girl I'd never seen before turned round.

Another one was one day at work we decided to have a "Talk like the Sweeney" day and later on one of the female members of the team came back from a meeting and said something. I shouted out (in John Thaw Sweeney accent) "Shut it you slag!" Her face dropped and then I realised she hadn't been there when we'd decided to do that.

But the best was my ex-mother-in-law, who when we got married rang someone up she'd used for her other daughter's wedding. The fellow's wife answered the phone and when ex-M-i-L explained she wanted to book him again his wife explained that he'd since died. "Oh, does that mean he's not doing it anymore?" said ex M-i-L.