What is the Most Embarrasing thing you have done/said

[LCBblue]

Ive got a couple of decent ones.

I was in HMV with my ex-missus once and she toddled off to find some shite music and I was looking for a DVD.
I found it and looked over to her and shouted her name. She ignored me so I shouted again, she ignored me again.
So, I went over to her (she was looking the other way) and in my best mongy voice pulled this stupid face and slowley dribbled slava out of my mouth and said 'kkkkaaaaaarrrreeeeennnn' in the said mongy voice.
The girl turned round and it wasnt her - she freaked out thinking some disabled guy was harrasing her.
I felt a right tit!

Another time I was in Levenshulme swimming baths when I saw this girl id fancied for ages so I sucked my stomache in and tried to look all cool as I dived in the water, but stupidly I was at the wrong end and id dived in the shallow end.
I smashed my face on the botton and bust my nose and lip. She was looking at me as I came back up with bloody everywhere.
Again, felt a right tit!

and finally, I was on holiday in Lanazrote and was propper pissed.
Me and the missus was staggering back to a villa we had rented and I started doing a mongy walk, as we walked around the corner and I shuffled behind her a genuinly disabled bloked was coming round the other way.
I had to carry on doing the mongy walk all the way up the street so he didnt think I was taking the piss.
She was just muttering 'Im gonna fookin kill you when we get back'!
lol

haha nice one

PMSL!

This thread is getting quality!

 

[Trigger]

Once asked a guy if he had a nice day off from work yesterday, he said not really he was off for his dads funeral!

 

[buzzer1]

I went to a wedding once and saw my mates mum who I hadn't seen for some time.
I remarked on how well she was looking and how tanned she looked. I said to her, have you been away or on a sunbed or something, she just sighed and said "no". My mate sat at the side of me leaned over and told me she had liver/kidney cancer. She was jaundiced.

I wanted the ground to swallow me there and then. Bah!

Noway Dabz. I was serving in my newsagents a while back and this lady came in that i hadnt seen for a month or so, i said oh hello Sue, just had your done as it looks sound? She replied no love its a wig i am having chemo as i have lung cancer.

FFS.

And me Mrs. in the same shop to this other woman, "hello Karen y'alright"? she said yeah not bad you know? Then me Mrs. said " you have a little fly or a midgy on yer face", to which she replied no love, its a mole and its cancerous, i'm going in the 'Ozzy tomorrow to have it removed". DOH.

They both recovered btw.