What is the Most Embarrasing thing you have done/said

[Sultana of Brunei]

I had banished this story to the back of my mind but in the interests of entertainment.

Years ago we played Swindon away. (Coppells last game in charge) and Didsbury Dave, myself and a few others were lucky enough to get directors box tickets. Despite losing (3-0 I think) we had a top day and we were monumentally pissed. We were invited to the players bar where I was throwing kids behind me to get to my idol Kinkladze. Kit Symons was chatting my then missus up but I just didn't care.

Anyway, that night we eventually arrived back at our hotel, significantly the worse for wear. We ordered food and when the waitress came to bring our food I knocked it out of her hand and Scampi and Chips went everywhere. The old Doris of a waitress bent down to pick up the food and as a joke I raised my hand as if to spank her arse. Unfortunately for me my aim was well out and I did indeed spank her arse really hard. There was a moments silence, followed by the scream from the waitress followed by the sound of Didsbury Dave pissing himself like a hyena, . Within about a minute the Hotel Manager came over and promptly turfed us out of the hotel. We slept in the car that night. .

That is probably the most embarrassed I have ever been.

 

[Didsbury Dave]

Turned up to watch Frankie Boyle at the Apollo in October this year. Tickets in hand, babysitter booked and a few bevies. Got to the Apollo and it was all in darkness, it wasnt until October 2010!

In my defence, who sends out tickets over 12 months in advance?

Now that's bizarre. The exact same thing happened to The Sultana, who is on this very thread. Yes, the very same concert.

Unless you're the guy he went with of course...

 

[HolisticJim]

Ive got a couple of decent ones.

I was in HMV with my ex-missus once and she toddled off to find some shite music and I was looking for a DVD.
I found it and looked over to her and shouted her name. She ignored me so I shouted again, she ignored me again.
So, I went over to her (she was looking the other way) and in my best mongy voice pulled this stupid face and slowley dribbled slava out of my mouth and said 'kkkkaaaaaarrrreeeeennnn' in the said mongy voice.
The girl turned round and it wasnt her - she freaked out thinking some disabled guy was harrasing her.
I felt a right tit!

Another time I was in Levenshulme swimming baths when I saw this girl id fancied for ages so I sucked my stomache in and tried to look all cool as I dived in the water, but stupidly I was at the wrong end and id dived in the shallow end.
I smashed my face on the botton and bust my nose and lip. She was looking at me as I came back up with bloody everywhere.
Again, felt a right tit!

and finally, I was on holiday in Lanazrote and was propper pissed.
Me and the missus was staggering back to a villa we had rented and I started doing a mongy walk, as we walked around the corner and I shuffled behind her a genuinly disabled bloked was coming round the other way.
I had to carry on doing the mongy walk all the way up the street so he didnt think I was taking the piss.
She was just muttering 'Im gonna fookin kill you when we get back'!
lol

 

[The Beast 111]

Ive got a couple of decent ones.

I was in HMV with my ex-missus once and she toddled off to find some shite music and I was looking for a DVD.
I found it and looked over to her and shouted her name. She ignored me so I shouted again, she ignored me again.
So, I went over to her (she was looking the other way) and in my best mongy voice pulled this stupid face and slowley dribbled slava out of my mouth and said 'kkkkaaaaaarrrreeeeennnn' in the said mongy voice.
The girl turned round and it wasnt her - she freaked out thinking some disabled guy was harrasing her.
I felt a right tit!

Another time I was in Levenshulme swimming baths when I saw this girl id fancied for ages so I sucked my stomache in and tried to look all cool as I dived in the water, but stupidly I was at the wrong end and id dived in the shallow end.
I smashed my face on the botton and bust my nose and lip. She was looking at me as I came back up with bloody everywhere.
Again, felt a right tit!

and finally, I was on holiday in Lanazrote and was propper pissed.
Me and the missus was staggering back to a villa we had rented and I started doing a mongy walk, as we walked around the corner and I shuffled behind her a genuinly disabled bloked was coming round the other way.
I had to carry on doing the mongy walk all the way up the street so he didnt think I was taking the piss.
She was just muttering 'Im gonna fookin kill you when we get back'!
lol

haha nice one

 

[scall11]

I went to a wedding once and saw my mates mum who I hadn't seen for some time.
I remarked on how well she was looking and how tanned she looked. I said to her, have you been away or on a sunbed or something, she just sighed and said "no". My mate sat at the side of me leaned over and told me she had liver/kidney cancer. She was jaundiced.

I wanted the ground to swallow me there and then. Bah!

I did a similar thing to an old mate who I hadn't seen in years.

"Wow, you look fantastic, you've lost loads of weight, how long did that take"
"A couple of weeks, I had pneumonia, I nearly died actually"
"Oh. Right"

 

[blue b4 the moon]

I could hear our neighbours (bloke and fit blonde bird) who had come round to arrange a night out and were talking to Mrs bb4themoon in our lounge whilst I was in the shower.

As I got out a heard lots of 'goodbyes' and all was silent apart from the tv. I walked downstairs in the chud drying my hair with the towel covering my face only to find that sitting in the armchair at the bottom of the stairs was the blonde. My wife was doing a brew in the kitchen, hence the silence.

We have since moved.

 

[manchester blue]

Turned up to watch Frankie Boyle at the Apollo in October this year. Tickets in hand, babysitter booked and a few bevies. Got to the Apollo and it was all in darkness, it wasnt until October 2010!

In my defence, who sends out tickets over 12 months in advance?

Haha you divvy.

I did that with Lord of The Dance in September last year!

 

[garfresco]

Turned up to watch Frankie Boyle at the Apollo in October this year. Tickets in hand, babysitter booked and a few bevies. Got to the Apollo and it was all in darkness, it wasnt until October 2010!

In my defence, who sends out tickets over 12 months in advance?

Haha you divvy.

I did that with Lord of The Dance in September last year!

Is the embarrassment about the wrong date or the show you had the ticket for!!!!

 

[Pearcey]

Was out on a date with this girl... we were at Jabez Clegg dancing and getting pissed, and generally having a great time.

It gets to about midnight and we decide to go back to hers for an 'early night'.

On our way out there is a group of pissed up girls coming in, one of which throws up all over me. My favourite shirt was ruined. I had to chuck it in the bin.

When we got back to the girls house I had to shower for about 1 hour to get rid of the smell of sick.

Didn't ruin my chances with the girl... but it severly pissed me off. Even now I get riled thinking about it.

 

[supermankrypton]

Many years ago whilst on holiday in Corfu, I was walking down the beach with a mate after a few afternoon beers. It was roasting hot and there were a lot of topless women out. Needless to say, I got a bit carried away with ogling a particularly tasty pair of ladies from behind my sunglasses. Right at the point when I thought they were giving me the eye I walked straight into the taut, decapitating wire of a volley ball net that was pinned into the sand. Went arse over tit in front of loads of gorgeous women and got stuck with the wire wrapped my neck. Mate pissing himself as I staggered to my feet and walked on, all of a sudden more eager to reach the bar than I had been.

Still makes me smile!!