Eat a pie standing up whilst wearing a white t-shirt. It’s taken two hot washes plus Fairy soaked in to the stain (try it!) to get rid. I’d not normally bother but it was new and expensive.
Watch a Liverpool match in a Merseyside pub. Unlike the Evertonians, none of them go and all behave like spoilt children too.
Have a night out in Liverpool. At weekends you can’t move for stags, hens, birthdays, football fans and, of course, Scousers. I don’t enjoy it.
Self diagnose a stomach upset / constipation when it was something far, far more serious. See the professionals, Mooners.