What's the most drunk you've ever been?

Why the out and out fixation with getting stunned and tatered. Our continental chums drink responsibly from their early teens partaking of the fruit of the vine and entering into pleasant diatribe around the family table. The British however see alcholol in an entirely different light and treat it as some right of passage and quite frankly it's a disgrace and as a society we should educate more and take responsibility because with actions come consequences.

Anyway whilst on a euro away in Calella at an all inclusive Amaika jobbie and whilst overly imbibed on splendid Basque Gin I might have forgot to lift up the toilet lid when trying to evacuate my pi-hella.
 
Kinkladze 1 said:
Next morning when I was fit I went back and had to chisel my sunglasses out of the frozen puke pile. (It was December)
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That reminds me of one time a friend of mine got hammered on NYE and ended up puking out of my window - one that opened at the top - and absolutely coated the window in vomit. It froze overnight.
 
A couple of years ago I went to watch my mates in a cup final. All they had in draft at the clubhouse was carslberg or San Miguel. I ploughed into the latter. Long story short, I had a kip in a bush on the way home, got picked up by a passing ambulance and dropped home. My wife wasn't best pleased.
 
september 23rd 1989, one saturday afternoon/evening after going to a match full of dread with several pre kickoff beers in the parkside, a few scraps outside in the alleyways, then the skies opened and at 5.40 city had beaten the red shite 5-1, a pub crawl back into town a railway club under the arch at picadilly, tins for the train then a few more in the pubs walking home, the mrs was away that night, can't remember where, finally got home and all i can remember was i couldn't get the key in the door and afetr god knows how long just sat on the step singing, then my mate, another blue came home and opened my front door for me. mrs played merry hell when she came home and i was still in bed, got my revenge on her though, i divorced the miserable sow
 
I got very drunk after we played Burnley at home this season. Met a few from here in the Grey Horse before and after the game. I was supping kronenbourg and one by one blues I was talking to left. Next minute I was sat there and about a dozen guys were sat amongst me chatting away. I was half asleep and pissed so I didn't notice anyone come in or what they were talking about. One of them mentioned United so I told him I was a blue. They started getting patronising towards me and I felt a bit intimidated sat amongst the rags infamous MIB's I thought it's sink or swim time so I told the mouthiest one to pipe the fuck down or I'd batter him. I thought oh shit, what ya say that for BMR you big daft pissed up dick. His right hand man was snarling at me like a savage dog, was a right big ****. The leader said fair play for standing my ground, sayingI was a proper blue then offered me a pint. They turned out to be decent lads actually but I was probably close to getting filled in without realising.

Then @snorky rang me just as I was about to go. He came back in and we must of had half a dozen more. After that I caught the tram to Stretford but had to get off at Cornbrook as they were working on the line. Walked past Old Trafford and was constantly giving it the V sign everytime I caught a glimpse and cursing like I had tourette's. Next minute I I almost shit myself so I staggered on to the front green of some flats and dropped my strides there and then. No toilet paper either. I eventually got back to Bigfoot's and the back gate was locked. I had a brainwave to grab a wheelie' bin and climb over the wall. What the fuck I was doing as a 54 yr old pissed up 16 stone bloke trying to scale a 7' wall in the dark I don't know. I was about as athletic as a sloth. I scrambled up the wall and cocked a leg over the top and the bloody bin gave way, so I fell over the other side like a sack of shit. Then I'm scratching at the door with my key trying not to wake Bigfoot up. No fuckin' chance, she has a better radar than jodrell fuckin' bank. She opened the door with a face that could sink a thousand ships, if looks could kill I should have been dead. I ended up on the sofa for disturbing her, especially when she thought I was supposed to be going to my house instead. We split up not long after that. That wasn't the reason but I don't suppose it helped.
 
Not me and not strictly booze inflicted, but I went to New York with my mate, ended up in a dark and dingy bar in the lower east side.

Couple of women came onto him like he was Justin Bieber. I told him to be very careful because something wasn’t right.

I carried on talking to some other people until I had to peel him off the floor after he keeled over off a bar stool. He’d only had two whiskeys so I can only assume they’d spiked him. They scurried off rather quickly. Not sure what they were after, he had an Argos watch on and some trainers from Sports Direct.

He’s a big lad so I had to get him up out the basement of this place. On the way out a load of Americans accused us of stealing their jacket, luckily my mate’s mum had written his name in it in marker pen (he was 32, wtf?)

Then I had to find a taxi who’d take him in a, by now, unconscious state. 30 mins later we were back at our hotel, had to pay the yellow cab driver $400 + fare + tip because he was sick all over the cab seats, floor etc.

Got him up to our room and he couldn’t talk, eyes rolled back in his head. Called my dad who said get him to hospital, so I called his mum who was a nurse, for a second opinion, and she said the same.

By now said friend had shat himself, pissed himself and been sick all over the bed. I wasn’t sure if he had travel insurance so I took his phone and wallet and emptied all his cards and ID out, left him with 50 dollars.

Took him back downstairs and took him to a different hotel round the corner, he sat on the disabled access ramp being sick. I left him and walked round the block a few times then made a fleeting comment to concierge at this hotel, “I think that guy over there needs some help”. They went to try and talk to him, I watched from afar and 20-30 mins later an ambulance arrived.

They carted him off so I went into Times Square and had a pretzel to finish my night. Jumped in bed, no sign of him when I woke up (but the room stank as he’d shit on his bed). About 1pm the next day he staggered in, had refused to give the hospital his name and discharged himself. They confirmed he’d been spiked.

Spent the last three days of the holiday in bed while I had a great time doing other stuff on my own. Vowed I’d never go on holiday with him again which I stuck to for a few years, then last week he convinced me we should fly to Vegas then drive to LA. Will check back in 6 weeks and let you know how it goes!
 
Me and my Brother in Law went out on the pop for a few hours a while ago. Got the missus to pick us up but couldn't remember where we said so we carried on drinking. She found us a few more hours later (before mobile phones) and escorted us to the car. She later said it took half an hour to move us 500 yards. I sat in the front passenger seat. Wound the window down and was violently sick out of it. I heard my Brother in Law also being sick in the back seat. It was only later that the Wife told me that I had been sick out of the window but his window was also open so I had projectile vomited all over him. Which made him throw up. On himself. When he got home he fell asleep on the bathroom floor with his feet against the door. Which went down well with his missus and their 2 daughters. It was the only bathroom. They couldn't shift him and had to go in the garden. He woke up at 2pm.

None of us came out of it with flying colours.
 
Hmmm I had a pernod offer night in placemates 7 which I absolutely got tucked into and to this day have no idea why I ended up on a bench at Failsworth train station seeing as I lived nowhere near.

Latterly whilst in Majorca last week on what was supposed to be a serious cycling trip I got absolutely scattered on the back of the FA cup win, started with a pint of Estrella Galicia for every goal scored, then on to goldfish bowl G&T’s and finished off with Whiskey and dry gingers, no chance to sleep off the stinking fucking hangover as we had a 90 miler planned with some evil climbs and dipping out would have been shameful, had to endure 3 evil hours on the bike before I even felt human. Not clever and seriously not pretty
 
BimboBob said:
Me and my Brother in Law went out on the pop for a few hours a while ago. Got the missus to pick us up but couldn't remember where we said so we carried on drinking. She found us a few more hours later (before mobile phones) and escorted us to the car. She later said it took half an hour to move us 500 yards. I sat in the front passenger seat. Wound the window down and was violently sick out of it. I heard my Brother in Law also being sick in the back seat. It was only later that the Wife told me that I had been sick out of the window but his window was also open so I had projectile vomited all over him. Which made him throw up. On himself. When he got home he fell asleep on the bathroom floor with his feet against the door. Which went down well with his missus and their 2 daughters. It was the only bathroom. They couldn't shift him and had to go in the garden. He woke up at 2pm.

None of us came out of it with flying colours.
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I started reading that in Chunk’s voice
 
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