your dad

[BuckersMCFC]

Never had any relationship with my Dad, through his ignorance and also my mum's wishes. Met him when I was 17, and didn't end nicely and just showed him for the person my Mum potrayed him as all my life.

Because of that, it just spurs me on to be the best Dad to my son as possible. Which is now harder after his Mum fucked me off 3 months ago for another bloke, who after 3 months she is now pregnant too! Very Jeremey Kyle! Makes me question the role I can have in my son's life and upbringing and how our relationship will be with me now I am out of the family home, but the determintion I have to succeed with his upbringing is massive. His Mum has fucked me over big style, but the love we have as father and son is still there. But the future worries me with me not being there with him all the time. But with my Dad being an idiot, it's helps me be the best Dad I can be. So having a bad Dad isn't the worst thing in the world, it makes you a better Dad!

 

[Bigga]

Never had any relationship with my Dad, through his ignorance and also my mum's wishes. Met him when I was 17, and didn't end nicely and just showed him for the person my Mum potrayed him as all my life.

Because of that, it just spurs me on to be the best Dad to my son as possible. Which is now harder after his Mum fucked me off 3 months ago for another bloke, who after 3 months she is now pregnant too! Very Jeremey Kyle! Makes me question the role I can have in my son's life and upbringing and how our relationship will be with me now I am out of the family home, but the determintion I have to succeed with his upbringing is massive. His Mum has fucked me over big style, but the love we have as father and son is still there. But the future worries me with me not being there with him all the time. But with my Dad being an idiot, it's helps me be the best Dad I can be. So having a bad Dad isn't the worst thing in the world, it makes you a better Dad!

I understand where you're coming from, but the old adage still holds the absolute truth; quality time over quantity.

So long as he can turn to you, confide and whatever without preaching and judgement, but offering perspective, then your relationship will just strengthen. That's what I do with my eldest 3 kids.

 

[BuckersMCFC]

Never had any relationship with my Dad, through his ignorance and also my mum's wishes. Met him when I was 17, and didn't end nicely and just showed him for the person my Mum potrayed him as all my life.

Because of that, it just spurs me on to be the best Dad to my son as possible. Which is now harder after his Mum fucked me off 3 months ago for another bloke, who after 3 months she is now pregnant too! Very Jeremey Kyle! Makes me question the role I can have in my son's life and upbringing and how our relationship will be with me now I am out of the family home, but the determintion I have to succeed with his upbringing is massive. His Mum has fucked me over big style, but the love we have as father and son is still there. But the future worries me with me not being there with him all the time. But with my Dad being an idiot, it's helps me be the best Dad I can be. So having a bad Dad isn't the worst thing in the world, it makes you a better Dad!

I understand where you're coming from, but the old adage still holds the absolute truth; quality time over quantity.

So long as he can turn to you, confide and whatever without preaching and judgement, but offering perspective, then your relationship will just strengthen. That's what I do with my eldest 3 kids.

Cheers man, splitting up unfortunately was for the best so that wasn't the hard part. But the way it happened was humilating and knowing another male figure has been introduced into his life so soon after me going hurt, and your mind wonders off on to stupid things about being replaced. But I got yourself together for my son, and give all I've got for him. 3 or 4 nights a week isn't bad, and there's far worse people off than me. As for his mum, I'll be seen to my son to show her respect as he needs to show her respect. But this baby thing so soon, just epitomises her.

 

[Bigga]

Never had any relationship with my Dad, through his ignorance and also my mum's wishes. Met him when I was 17, and didn't end nicely and just showed him for the person my Mum potrayed him as all my life.

Because of that, it just spurs me on to be the best Dad to my son as possible. Which is now harder after his Mum fucked me off 3 months ago for another bloke, who after 3 months she is now pregnant too! Very Jeremey Kyle! Makes me question the role I can have in my son's life and upbringing and how our relationship will be with me now I am out of the family home, but the determintion I have to succeed with his upbringing is massive. His Mum has fucked me over big style, but the love we have as father and son is still there. But the future worries me with me not being there with him all the time. But with my Dad being an idiot, it's helps me be the best Dad I can be. So having a bad Dad isn't the worst thing in the world, it makes you a better Dad!

I understand where you're coming from, but the old adage still holds the absolute truth; quality time over quantity.

So long as he can turn to you, confide and whatever without preaching and judgement, but offering perspective, then your relationship will just strengthen. That's what I do with my eldest 3 kids.

Cheers man, splitting up unfortunately was for the best so that wasn't the hard part. But the way it happened was humilating and knowing another male figure has been introduced into his life so soon after me going hurt, and your mind wonders off on to stupid things about being replaced. But I got yourself together for my son, and give all I've got for him. 3 or 4 nights a week isn't bad, and there's far worse people off than me. As for his mum, I'll be seen to my son to show her respect as he needs to show her respect. But this baby thing so soon, just epitomises her.

Tricky one, buddy.

Dependant on his age, the whole baby thing will alienate him towards her. At the same time, he may do that with the baby. I know you're not daft, but under no circumstances should you allow that to happen.

There's no guarantee that this guy and your ex will stay together(as you know from experience), but that baby will only have your little 'un to look after it, growing through time.

All I'm saying is it's entirely possible that baby loses out on relationships cos of the mess. Not saying you could/ should take it on come the worst, but make sure your lad stays the course as he and the babe will be the 'victims'.

If I'm out of order I apologise, but coming from experience of taking on a little 'un I've seen the chaos when he's felt neither here or there.

 

[kinkladze10]

Never had any relationship with my Dad, through his ignorance and also my mum's wishes. Met him when I was 17, and didn't end nicely and just showed him for the person my Mum potrayed him as all my life.

Because of that, it just spurs me on to be the best Dad to my son as possible. Which is now harder after his Mum fucked me off 3 months ago for another bloke, who after 3 months she is now pregnant too! Very Jeremey Kyle! Makes me question the role I can have in my son's life and upbringing and how our relationship will be with me now I am out of the family home, but the determintion I have to succeed with his upbringing is massive. His Mum has fucked me over big style, but the love we have as father and son is still there. But the future worries me with me not being there with him all the time. But with my Dad being an idiot, it's helps me be the best Dad I can be. So having a bad Dad isn't the worst thing in the world, it makes you a better Dad!

Sounds to me mate you are better off without her, same thing happened to me (she never got pregnant though) ex had an affair and I left basically and left all the things in my life behind that I had built up, for another man to be in my bed within a week practically killed me (revenge is not something which I'm proud of) I remained strong though for my little girl by far the best person in my life. If she breaks up with this new fella under no circumstances get close to her again not even for your kid, some woman are horrible creatures. The whole other man in your kids life is something you will just have to deal with, but remember your her dad and lead by example.

 

[Lucky13]

Never liked my Dad , don't know why really, always worked and provided for us , then when my he and my Mum split up after being together for 40yrs started talking and seeing him a lot more , , he retired 3yrs ago and his health has really deteriorated through parkinsons disease , he now lives in a home.

Couple of weeks ago on my weekly visit he had a turn and we took him to hospital , thought he would die , he's ok now, even though he was in a bad way I couldn't bring myself to hold him probably due to the lack of affection when I was growing up.

I'm happy that we've now got a relationship but we'll never be close.

 

[Andy Dale]

Never had any relationship with my Dad, through his ignorance and also my mum's wishes. Met him when I was 17, and didn't end nicely and just showed him for the person my Mum potrayed him as all my life.

Because of that, it just spurs me on to be the best Dad to my son as possible. Which is now harder after his Mum fucked me off 3 months ago for another bloke, who after 3 months she is now pregnant too! Very Jeremey Kyle! Makes me question the role I can have in my son's life and upbringing and how our relationship will be with me now I am out of the family home, but the determintion I have to succeed with his upbringing is massive. His Mum has fucked me over big style, but the love we have as father and son is still there. But the future worries me with me not being there with him all the time. But with my Dad being an idiot, it's helps me be the best Dad I can be. So having a bad Dad isn't the worst thing in the world, it makes you a better Dad!

I split up with my daughters mother when they were 5 and 3. She has had a child since with another man and has since married a different man.
As long as you insist on seeing your kid you will be fine. Dont pick massive rows with her at all. Try and have your son with you say every other weekend , Friday night till Sunday night for example. Make sure he enjoys the weekend every time. Maybe take him to city for home games.
Make sure you take an interest in his schooling, his health and his hobbies and friends.
I did this with my 2 girls. They are now 23 and 21. They are both brilliant with all my friends as I am with theirs. They have no rows with either of their parents. Me and their mother and her husband all get on fine . I even gave him some work a few weeks ago. No problems.
Always remember to stay civil. Never slag her off in public because it will get back to her. Dont have a sulk when your son mentions his new brother/sister. Its happened so get used to it quickly. I know it sounds hard but just smile thru it with your son.
Good luck blue .

 

[BuckersMCFC]

I understand where you're coming from, but the old adage still holds the absolute truth; quality time over quantity.

So long as he can turn to you, confide and whatever without preaching and judgement, but offering perspective, then your relationship will just strengthen. That's what I do with my eldest 3 kids.

Cheers man, splitting up unfortunately was for the best so that wasn't the hard part. But the way it happened was humilating and knowing another male figure has been introduced into his life so soon after me going hurt, and your mind wonders off on to stupid things about being replaced. But I got yourself together for my son, and give all I've got for him. 3 or 4 nights a week isn't bad, and there's far worse people off than me. As for his mum, I'll be seen to my son to show her respect as he needs to show her respect. But this baby thing so soon, just epitomises her.

Tricky one, buddy.

Dependant on his age, the whole baby thing will alienate him towards her. At the same time, he may do that with the baby. I know you're not daft, but under no circumstances should you allow that to happen.

There's no guarantee that this guy and your ex will stay together(as you know from experience), but that baby will only have your little 'un to look after it, growing through time.

All I'm saying is it's entirely possible that baby loses out on relationships cos of the mess. Not saying you could/ should take it on come the worst, but make sure your lad stays the course as he and the babe will be the 'victims'.

If I'm out of order I apologise, but coming from experience of taking on a little 'un I've seen the chaos when he's felt neither here or there.

No way out of order pal, cheers for the advice. Understand where you're coming from totally and already thought about that. Whatever has happened between me and her, I am still his Dad. And if he doesn't see me treating his mother right, he won't treat her right. And then when he gets his own family he might not treat them right, I may be thinking well too far ahead because he's only 2 in October! There's no way I would ever take on her other baby, but whatever needs be I will do, because effectively everything what will happen in that household will effect my son. And he's the most important thing in the world.

 

[mick10]

My God my heart is sore now:(
How lucky am I too have been fortunate enought too be born into the family I was.
I'm clearly very fortunate (after reading most of these posts) to have the relationship I do with my lot.
My Dad (who I adore) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's several years ago and for the past year has been in a residential home. He no longer knows any of us and actually talks too me about me. Takes a bit of getting used to but at least I still have him and whilst he may not recognise me I still know and love him. He was always there for us and never let us down ever, the same as our Mum.
This was a very emotional thread I have too say and a small window into the lives of other people.
Still sore :(

 

[Andy Dale]

My God my heart is sore now:(
How lucky am I too have been fortunate enought too be born into the family I was.
I'm clearly very fortunate (after reading most of these posts) to have the relationship I do with my lot.
My Dad (who I adore) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's several years ago and for the past year has been in a residential home. He no longer knows any of us and actually talks too me about me. Takes a bit of getting used to but at least I still have him and whilst he may not recognise me I still know and love him. He was always there for us and never let us down ever, the same as our Mum.
This was a very emotional thread I have too say and a small window into the lives of other people.
Still sore :(

Heart goes out to you pal.
He might not know who you are , but you know who he is .