Your Favourite Stand Up Comedian

[johnnytapia]

Steven Wright with this one-liners.

"7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot" .

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths."

"All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand."

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met."

I bought some batteries but they weren't included.
I put instant coffee in the microwave and went back in time.
I went into a shop and asked, "do you have that in extra-medium"?

 

[Banned Tosspot]

 

[Stoned Rose]

That Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is pretty good.

 

[malg]

At the minute I like Bill Burr and Doug Stanhope.

 

[Kinkladze 1]

Haven't seen Doug Stanhope mentioned here. Guy is very much hit and miss, but when he's on it's hilarious.

Each to their own I guess.

 

[citizenyank76]

Each to their own I guess.

Yeah. My friend said the same thing. He went to see Stanhope live and walked out halfway through. But I loved Bill Hicks material and sometimes I'll catch that same acerbic streak in Stanhope's jokes.

 

[BlindEyeSeesAll]

Still Bill Hicks. Was lucky enough to see him once, still not seen anyone better.

 

[Big Swifty]

I notice no one has mentioned Michael McIntyre.

I wonder why. I also wonder why his gigs sell out, and why he is so rich. No accounting for taste.

 

[dannyboy29]

Kevin Bridges is up there for me.

Russell Howard shouldn't even be able to class himself as a comedian.

 

[Scottyboi]

I liked Jim Jefferies till I saw the hidden footage showing he is a rat bastard.