Your Favourite Stand Up Comedian

[Big Swifty]

nobody from the appalling Live at the Apollo

I'd like these buggers to have to face an audience of Glaswegian dockers in a bad mood. The "comics" would be lucky to leave the stage alive, instead of an audience of daft youngsters wiping tears of laughter from their eyes at something totally unfunny.

 

[noblelord]

Has anybody mentioned Bernard M.?

 

[citizenyank76]

nobody from the appalling Live at the Apollo

I'd like these buggers to have to face an audience of Glaswegian dockers in a bad mood. The "comics" would be lucky to leave the stage alive, instead of an audience of daft youngsters wiping tears of laughter from their eyes at something totally unfunny.

This actually made me laugh harder than most "comedians" I hear nowadays.

 

[City Hobgoblin]

Steven Wright with this one-liners.

"7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot" .

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths."

"All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand."

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met."

He nicked the third one from Kurt Vonnegut

 

[Banned Tosspot]

 

[journolud]

nobody from the appalling Live at the Apollo

I'd like these buggers to have to face an audience of Glaswegian dockers in a bad mood. The "comics" would be lucky to leave the stage alive, instead of an audience of daft youngsters wiping tears of laughter from their eyes at something totally unfunny.

Are Glaswegian dockers the ultimate arbiters of what is funny. And why are they so angry. Sounds to me like they should lighten up, maybe go and see a comic or two. Not Billy Connolly though, he isn't any good.

 

[Banned Tosspot]

Bobby Lee is the craziest mutha fucka on the planet.

 

[BlueTG]

Mourinho’s content was pretty good over the last 2 years on his BBC and Sky Sports News slots.

 

[Barcon]

I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread.

Mitch Hedberg.

 

[warpig]

Bernard Manning, Frankie Boyle and Micky Flanagan.