Your First Time Howling Drunk. Trashed, Smashed, Out Your Tree.

[The Silver Surfer]

It was 1986, I was 13 and it was the night of the big disco at the community centre.
Despite being the brother of the former cock of the school I felt my social standing could do with a further boost.
My mate would often hang round with the older lads and get a bit tipsy, so when I was invited along for the purpose of getting smashed before the disco I thought it was a great idea.
Wrong!
I chose a 2 litre bottle of Strongbow as my beverage of choice and chugged the lot thinking I was the bees knees. I remember us staggering along the main road on that sunny evening and I was shouting, "THIS IS FUCKIN' BRIIILLIANT"! while the others laughed and commented that it was my first getting pissed.
Anyway, we arrived and the music was booming to the sound of "Happy Hour" by the Housemartins and everyone was either snogging or dancing. However, the thrill wasn't to last very long..
I went from elated to dizzy to queasy in a spectacular short time until my stomach was protesting too much and I barged my was into the lads bogs and delivered jet of spew into the sink infront of all the older lads I'd been with who were in having a smoke. After being the recipient of rapturous cheers and with that evenings tea dribbling down my chin, I then felt my opposite end begin to twitch.
Realising there were only seconds before evacuation would commence I stumbled into the cubicle and in the nick of time dropped my trollies just as a gush of poo came tumbling out which turned to a frothy gas as I sat with my head in my hands.
It was only then the lockless cubicle door swung open revealing a crowd of baying Muppets from all sides. The cacophony of laughter still haunts me to this day.
Somehow, some way, I arrived at the front seating area of the building where I was generously put into the recovery position by the staff, barely conscious and sweating like a pig.
When I woke up it was in response to a plastic tube being forcefully inserted down my throat.
Despite my protests the hospital staff managed to engage it with my stomach and pump the remaining booze out leaving me deeply traumatised and disillusioned with my teenage life.
The next time I awoke it was in a dimly lit side room. I turned to my left side and saw a drip solution being fed into my arm.
I groaned, partially remembering the sequence of events which led to my current situation.
I turned to my right and froze.
Sat in a chair, arms folded and looking like she was chewing a wasp, was my usually gentle mother.

"Sorry mum", I whispered.

 

[Magicpole]

It was 1986, I was 13 and it was the night of the big disco at the community centre.
Despite being the brother of the former cock of the school I felt my social standing could do with a further boost.
My mate would often hang round with the older lads and get a bit tipsy, so when I was invited along for the purpose of getting smashed before the disco I thought it was a great idea.
Wrong!
I chose a 2 litre bottle of Strongbow as my beverage of choice and chugged the lot thinking I was the bees knees. I remember us staggering along the main road on that sunny evening and I was shouting, "THIS IS FUCKIN' BRIIILLIANT"! while the others laughed and commented that it was my first getting pissed.
Anyway, we arrived and the music was booming to the sound of "Happy Hour" by the Housemartins and everyone was either snogging or dancing. However, the thrill wasn't to last very long..
I went from elated to dizzy to queasy in a spectacular short time until my stomach was protesting too much and I barged my was into the lads bogs and delivered jet of spew into the sink infront of all the older lads I'd been with who were in having a smoke. After being the recipient of rapturous cheers and with that evenings tea dribbling down my chin, I then felt my opposite end begin to twitch.
Realising there were only seconds before evacuation would commence I stumbled into the cubicle and in the nick of time dropped my trollies just as a gush of poo came tumbling out which turned to a frothy gas as I sat with my head in my hands.
It was only then the lockless cubicle door swung open revealing a crowd of baying Muppets from all sides. The cacophony of laughter still haunts me to this day.
Somehow, some way, I arrived at the front seating area of the building where I was generously put into the recovery position by the staff, barely conscious and sweating like a pig.
When I woke up it was in response to a plastic tube being forcefully inserted down my throat.
Despite my protests the hospital staff managed to engage it with my stomach and pump the remaining booze out leaving me deeply traumatised and disillusioned with my teenage life.
The next time I awoke it was in a dimly lit side room. I turned to my left side and saw a drip solution being fed into my arm.
I groaned, partially remembering the sequence of events which led to my current situation.
I turned to my right and froze.
Sat in a chair, arms folded and looking like she was chewing a wasp, was my usually gentle mother.

"Sorry mum", I whispered.

I thought my night was bad. You poor, stupid as fuck younger self ****. Loved that. :)

 

[vonkeynotvenky]

House party at my mates house, it was a really nice house and I vomited all over the telephone book and the bonnet of my mates dads new car.

 

[manimanc]

Christmas eve 1989 aged 15 in the wheatsheaf in whitefield. Had drank 3 cans of Newcastle Brown ale before I got in there and was already half cut. Had a couple of pints of Strongbow and that was it, i was completely ruined. Lent on a table full of drinks and empties and over it went with me nearly landing on top of it.
Got to the toilet and managed to knock every glass over that was on the floor.
Walking home with about 5 or 6 of us we got past prestos and the floor just come up at me, I hit the deck near enough face first, I was like a punch drunk fighter staggering around the ring.
Cut my elbow, my knee, my hip, grazed my face, put holes in my jeans and top, was a complete mess.
Was a good night though.

 

[Millwallawayveteran1988]

First time sick was age 16 at my dads 40th drinking Martini!

Worst was a year later. Someone's party in 6th form, got that pissed I had to be pushed home in a shopping trolley and dumped on my mums doorstep where my mates rang the bell and did one. I woke up the next day with a bucket by my bed and sheets all over the floor. Mum came in and said I had been sick all night. I had a hangover for 3 days after that.

As an adult I've had my moments too!

 

[BlueMojito]

About 16 at my dad's works party...

Had a nice meal and a few drinks then decided to minesweep as it's called these days. Realising I was hammered I thought I'd better leg it to the bog for a piss/shit/puke unfortunately, the toilets were fucking miles away from the bar and dancefloor it also involved passing the front reception desk.

I would have made it but for a posh woman in a fur coat who had just walked in who didn't get out of my way, after both her and me trying to get out of eachothers space as I ran towards the bogs round the corner I hit her full on, fell on top of her and emptyed the contents of my belly all over her and her coat.

Finally making the bogs I complete the treble and pass out, next thing I know I'm at home in bed.

Took me 5/6 days to feel human again.

Haha poor woman. Bet your dad never lived it down at work.

 

[dobingsdobber]

Christmas eve 1972. Entire office decanted to the Victoria in Crown Square. Had eight pints with a brandy chaser for each. Somehow crawled onto a 42 bus, threw up all over the back seat round about Platt Fields and was ultimately found fast asleep in a phone box in Fallowfield by my father-in-law.Credibility as a drinker and human being down the pan.

 

[Magicpole]

Christmas eve 1972. Entire office decanted to the Victoria in Crown Square. Had eight pints with a brandy chaser for each. Somehow crawled onto a 42 bus, threw up all over the back seat round about Platt Fields and was ultimately found fast asleep in a phone box in Fallowfield by my father-in-law.Credibility as a drinker and human being down the pan.

You seem braw to me. Always delighted to know that in being in serious need of a carer at times, I am not alone.

 

[dobingsdobber]

You seem braw to me. Always delighted to know that in being in serious need of a carer at times, I am not alone.

At last!! a kindred spirit.

 

[Trevor Morley's Tache]

Bottle of Thundrbirds Red and 1/4l bottle of vodka. Probably would have been 16 or 17. Got ran over by a taxi. I jumped and bounced straight over the roof. Luckily got up and walked (wobbled) away relatively unscathed. I was told later the taxi was doing in excess of 30mph.