Pet Hates on the road!

[Bilston Blue]

nigerian drivers in and around moston who indicate right to turn left.

Nigerian drivers are the worst, aren't they? I taught a Nigerian man to drive a few years ago. It became apparent very early in the course that he was having problems pulling up at the side of the road, which was strange because most of the usual issues you'd associate with a novice driver didn't cause him any trouble at all. What he'd do was to turn the wheel left more than is usual for pulling up next to the kerb before immediately steering right to compensate, and he'd repeat this several times over until he was somewhere near the kerb. Left and right, left and right, left and right. A dozen times on occasions he'd steer and straighten.

A conversation followed which went something like this:

Me: "Why do you keep steering into the kerb and then undoing the steering by going right again? It's taking you bloody miles just to slow down and manouevre the car a metre to the left."

Nigerian Bob (his name was something like Adekimole, but he said his workmates called him Bob): "I think it's because it's the way I used to dock my boat back in Lagos."

Me (surprised): You used to have a boat?

Nigerian Bob: I used to pilot an oil tanker.

Me: Okay. Now I get why you're coming in like that. Just out of curiosity, how long was your oil tanker?

Nigerian Bob: Around four hundred metres.

Me: But that's a quarter of a mile long.

Nigerian Bob: It was a very big boat indeed. My wife made me come to England because the situation with pirates was becoming quite troublesome.

Still, I was far safer with Nigerian Bob than Russian Ksenia; she tried to kill me once between a tractor and an onrushing Volvo.

 

[Bluemoon dan]

Cyclists who ride side by side chatting to each other, completely oblivious to the queue of traffic building up behind them unable to overtake.

 

[talkativesprout]

Drivers that ignore zebra/pelican crossings.

Drivers turning right who think just because a two second gap as appeared in traffic that it is all right to scream round the corner, regardless of pedestrians who are halfway across the road they are turning into.

Biggest **** of all time
Drivers who park on the pavement, making me and the kids walk on the fucking road. PARK SOMEWHERE ELSE you twats. I dont give a fuck if your hair will get wet or your fat arse can't take the extra 100 metres it would take to walk to where you are going. If i had the bollox i would key the fuck out of your car and leave my phone number to tell you what a **** you are! I would only end up paying for a spray job on the clapped out heap of shit you think is a lifeline.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Old fuckin people who have no idea where they are or take any notice of anybody else on the road.

 

[simonk]

Motorists who drive in the outside line past a line of queuing traffic knowing that it will shortly go to one lane. Why the fuck do you think we are queuing, yer ignorant bastards?

people like me are so glad there are people like you

 

[beano46]

the twats who beep me just because the lights on green, I'm trying to read my paper and enjoy my coffee mother fucker

Haha Quality

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

the twats who beep me just because the lights on green, I'm trying to read my paper and enjoy my coffee mother fucker

What paper do you read?

 

[mcfc_ms]

Anyone who doesn't know how to indicate

People who would rather beep their horn at someone rather than slow down.

My mate. He's a fucking retarded driver. I now refuse to get in his car because one of these days he will kill me.

Fog lights on when its not foggy

Chavs in shit cars

People who don't understand how to use a motorway (my mate again)

 

[billfromthehill]

Wankers with those fukin shitty new dazzle your eyes like fuck headlights.
And dare I say it the I'm in the Caribbean type of driver I,e. Stop car on carriage way check it's the street they
Are looking for and then indicate and turn,# I ain't got time for this shit.

 

[steviemc]

It's called pushing in ! It's not a welcome invitation to infuriate other road users and make their journey longer. Just saying

And that is the problem - it isn't pushing in. It is merely merging later, with the benefit of reducing the length of the tailback by the length of the queue of single file traffic to the actual lane closure. Here is a pretty picture of how others do it:

If you take all the vehicles in the right hand lane and put them behind those on the left, you will see why moving over too early actually has a worse effect.

But one of the reasons the left hand lane is backed up so far is because it has to keep stopping to let the drivers in the right hand lane in. If they had merged earlier, when room was available, the traffic would flow quicker and the tailback would be far smaller.

...and he's been waiting so long to use that diagram :(

Life can be a woman, a bit like queuing.