"can you not follow simple Instructions Paul? Just give it to the orange at the top of the tree. He earns a lot more than you, and he can also play the Piano. If that doesn't work, tell the ref that we deserve a goal because of our history. In the highly unlikely event that doesn't work, try some flicks in areas where it won't hurt spurs. At least the sheep will still think we're genuine title challengers if we have piano playing oranges and expensive trick ponies."
Hahahaha brilliant