TheBlueDune
Well-Known Member
I got in a load of trouble at the farm recently with my German boss.
Turned out he wanted me to order 30 sows and pigs, not 30,000 pigs.....
Turned out he wanted me to order 30 sows and pigs, not 30,000 pigs.....
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
TheBlueDune
Well-Known Member
Bride on her wedding night says to her hubby
"I must confess I was once a hooker"
Hubby responds
"That's ok, your past is your past but I must admit I find it quite erotic, tell me more about it"
She says "Well my name was Dave and I played for Wigan Warriors"
"I must confess I was once a hooker"
Hubby responds
"That's ok, your past is your past but I must admit I find it quite erotic, tell me more about it"
She says "Well my name was Dave and I played for Wigan Warriors"
Ifwecouldjust.......
Well-Known Member
I went into a book store and asked the assistant 'Wheres the Self Help section?'
She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose
She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose
talkativesprout
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 30 Mar 2009
- Messages
- 10,140
Just seen my mate One Armed Dave, I said eh Dave where are you going and He said i'm off to change a light bulb. Given his disability i said that will be a bit of a struggle wont it hee hee...Not really you insensitive **** he said, i still have the receipt....
MellowJoe
Well-Known Member
Our dog doesn't have any legs. He's called Woodbine. I take him out for a drag every night.
The managing director of Dulux has been been found dead on the streets, frozen to death. Experts say he needed another coat.
The managing director of Dulux has been been found dead on the streets, frozen to death. Experts say he needed another coat.
BackofJeanette
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 20 Apr 2011
- Messages
- 1,557
Bloke comes home early and finds his mate shagging his wife, so he stabbed the fucker to death.
Wife says " carry on like that and you'll have no mates left!"
Wife says " carry on like that and you'll have no mates left!"
PannickAtTheDisco
Well-Known Member
Our dog doesn't have any legs. He's called Woodbine. I take him out for a drag every night.
The managing director of Dulux has been been found dead on the streets, frozen to death. Experts say he needed another coat.
such cruelty to animals, you have no soul.
Trautmann's Chiropractor
Well-Known Member
A depressed man walks into a bar and notices a bottle of vodka dancing away and having a great time in the corner. He walks over to the barman and asks glumly “why is that bottle of vodka so happy?” The barman tells him the bottle comes in to dance every night and is always happy. The depressed man responds “maybe I can take a page out of his book, give me two of whatever he’s drinking.”
“Aye, that’s the spirit.”
“Aye, that’s the spirit.”
dronefromsector7G
Well-Known Member
I guessed toffee but it was peanut. I said orange but it was honeycomb.
I was wrong on so many Revels.
I was wrong on so many Revels.
MellowJoe
Well-Known Member
To anyone who needs a drummer for their band.. count me in.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus today. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
A limbo champion walks into a bar.. he was disqualified.
I was at a job interview the other day and the guy said to me, "I'm going to ask you three questions and I want you to give me three quick fire answers." So he said, "First question, how old are you?", I said "Quick fire."
I bought the world's worst thesaurus today. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
A limbo champion walks into a bar.. he was disqualified.
I was at a job interview the other day and the guy said to me, "I'm going to ask you three questions and I want you to give me three quick fire answers." So he said, "First question, how old are you?", I said "Quick fire."