Joke thread

[TheRemainsOfTheDave]

Some strange "jokes" on the last page and a half.

I've got a belter about Karl Marx's sister but I'm saving it.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Not been in the Star since I moved to Stalybridge in 1978! Used to be in there every night, followed by fish and chips at Heywoods, then the last bus home. No wonder I put so much weight on after leaving school.

It's not ( or wasn't ) a bad night on a Friday or Saturday, plenty of shall we say " fun lovers "

 

[Xhavenjoe]

I've got a belter about Karl Marx's sister but I'm saving it.

She obviously isn't one of the Marx Brothers

 

[Zuriblue]

I know a couple who come from near Wolverhampton. He has a strong Black Country accent but she is really broad.

it just goes to show, the female of the species really is Dudleyer than the male.

 

[Zuriblue]

An Incel, a Trump supporter, a Libertarian and a 12 year old walk into a bar. The barman throws him out because he's underage.

 

[prestonibbo_mcfc]

In Jamaica the price of a meat and potato pie is £1.50 and a cheese and onion is £1.75.
They are the pie rates of the carribbean.

 

[Uwe Already]

I tried to catch the fog this morning - mist...

 

[jimharri]

Calling @Blue Mist!

 

[Uwe Already]

Or:

What would the flintstones have been called if they were black?



The flintstones you racist!

 

[Bill Walker]

Bought a jumper fro Tescos at the weekend can't wear it tho it's full of static electricity everytime I put it on it gives me an electric shock ,
So this morning I took it back , they gave me another
Free of charge !

 

[mat]

I've got a joke about trickle down economics but 99% of you won't get it.

 

[LWashington]

My mate asked me this one as a quiz question, I spent ages trying to work it out, eventually he had to tell me the answer.

The sister of which member of England's 1966 World Cup Winning squad, had a UK number one single in 1974 ?

Spoiler

Jimmy Greaves, his sister Freda ........ Freda Greaves - When Will I See You Again

 

[Big Swifty]

That is terrible. Red card for you. And a two-year ban.

 

[Sam Armstrong]

LET THIS BE A WARNING!!

DO NOT let them take your temperature on your forehead when you enter a supermarket ... it seriously erases your memory.

I only went in for bread and milk for the mrs the other day and, after scanning my forehead with a thermal imager, I somehow came out with three cases of beer!!

if that’s not proof what is??

 

[andyhinch]

@mancitymax thinks he’s ITK, I’m still pissing myself but that’s probably an age thing

 

[DazWA9]

 

[DazWA9]

 

[kippax4ever]

My mate asked me this one as a quiz question, I spent ages trying to work it out, eventually he had to tell me the answer.

The sister of which member of England's 1966 World Cup Winning squad, had a UK number one single in 1974 ?

Spoiler

Jimmy Greaves, his sister Freda ........ Freda Greaves - When Will I See You Again

Got it in the end..

 

[Mr Blue Moon]

LET THIS BE A WARNING!!

DO NOT let them take your temperature on your forehead when you enter a supermarket ... it seriously erases your memory.

I only went in for bread and milk for the mrs the other day and, after scanning my forehead with a thermal imager, I somehow came out with three cases of beer!!

if that’s not proof what is??

I just left with a case of Corona

 

[Ashleymcduff]

My mate David has lost his ID

now we just call him Dav