Media Thread 2020/21

[Blue_eyes]

As a relative newcomer to this site, can I ask all posters put lol at the end of their messages so I can know if it's serious or not. At the moment, I'm never sure.

I know many of you believe that there is favouritism to teams that play in red. I have to say that it hasn't worked for our lot. lol

Lol......... lol.

 

[LongsightM13]

“Alexa, show me clickbait”…

 

[andyhinch]

“Alexa, show me clickbait”…

View attachment 20720

I believe the rags also lost that race, they’re linked to every fucker else ;-)

 

[Onholiday(somemightsay)]

Disappointingly my better half has returned from walking the dogs with the the Sunday Telegraph. First time we’ve had a physical paper in the house for ages and now a bargain at an astonishing £2.50.

Anyways in the Sam Wallace report on the Engerland game is this nugget…..’ After 4 minutes Sterling forced his way inside from the left wing and spotted a gaping hole in the Ukraine defensive line…’

Now I thought Sterling’s reverse pass last night was actually the pass of the tournament to date and was inch perfect through the smallest of gaps.

Can this reporter not give credit where it’s due coz it’s a City player or Sterling himself or did my eyes deceive me?

Yeh to my mind, that description doesn't reflect how it played out..........

 

[Colthekid]

I’m pretty sure the year would be 1415, and the English archers would have been putting two fingers up to the French.



What’s he that wishes so?
My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin:
If we are mark’d to die, we are enow
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
God’s will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires:
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England:
God’s peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more, methinks, would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made
And crowns for convoy put into his purse:
We would not die in that man’s company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is called the feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say ‘To-morrow is Saint Crispian:’
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
And say ‘These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.’
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day: then shall our names.
Familiar in his mouth as household words
Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember’d.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember’d;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.

Shakespeare. Bit too posh for my tastes, prefer a bit of Stanley Holloway....:-)

The Battle Of Hastings


I'll tell of the Battle of Hastings,
As happened in days long gone by,
When Duke William became King of England,
And 'Arold got shot in the eye.

It were this way - one day in October
The Duke, who were always a toff
Having no battles on at the moment,
Had given his lads a day off.

They'd all taken boats to go fishing,
When some chap in t' Conqueror's ear
Said 'Let's go and put breeze up the Saxons;'
Said Bill - 'By gum, that's an idea.'

Then turning around to his soldiers,
He lifted his big Norman voice,
Shouting - 'Hands up who's coming to England.'
That was swank 'cos they hadn't no choice.

They started away about tea-time -
The sea was so calm and so still,
And at quarter to ten the next morning
They arrived at a place called Bexhill.

King 'Arold came up as they landed -
His face full of venom and 'ate -
He said 'lf you've come for Regatta
You've got here just six weeks too late.'

At this William rose, cool but 'aughty,
And said 'Give us none of your cheek;
You'd best have your throne re-upholstered,
I'll be wanting to use it next week.'

When 'Arold heard this 'ere defiance,
With rage he turned purple and blue,
And shouted some rude words in Saxon,
To which William answered - 'And you.'

'Twere a beautiful day for a battle;
The Normans set off with a will,
And when both sides was duly assembled,
They tossed for the top of the hill.

King 'Arold he won the advantage,
On the hill-top he took up his stand,
With his knaves and his cads all around him,
On his 'orse with his 'awk in his 'and.

The Normans had nowt in their favour,
Their chance of a victory seemed small,
For the slope of the field were against them,
And the wind in their faces an' all.

The kick-off were sharp at two-thirty,
And soon as the whistle had went
Both sides started banging each other
'Til the swineherds could hear them in Kent.

The Saxons had best line of forwards,
Well armed both with buckler and sword -
But the Normans had best combination,
And when half-time came neither had scored.

So the Duke called his cohorts together
And said - 'Let's pretend that we're beat,
Once we get Saxons down on the level
We'll cut off their means of retreat.'

So they ran - and the Saxons ran after,
Just exactly as William had planned,
Leaving 'Arold alone on the hill-top
On his 'orse with his 'awk in his 'and.

When the Conqueror saw what had happened,
A bow and an arrow he drew;
He went right up to 'Arold and shot him.
He were off-side, but what could they do?

The Normans turned round in a fury,
And gave back both parry and thrust,
Till the fight were all over bar shouting,
And you couldn't see Saxons for dust.

And after the battle were over
They found 'Arold so stately and grand,
Sitting there with an eye-full of arrow
On his 'orse with his 'awk in his 'and.

 

[KS55]

Or in the same year the Battle of Stamford Bridge against the Norwegians.

I was there, in the shed end. Great game. Fulham Road full of fans wearing viking helmets.

 

[KS55]

Iirc The English occupied the high ground and although tired and exhausted they were in no danger of ‘losing’ … until the Normans attacked again (having been repelled many times), then pretended to retreat in disarray, causing the common troops to charge down the hill after them believing victory was there’s, where they were severely battered by the ‘retreaters’ and the Norman cavalry which could be deployed on the flat lower ground. Harold was left with 1/3 of his troops gone…and the press of the next Norman attack with vastly improved superiority of numbers … and having seen 1/3 of their number massacred, having fought continuously for most of the day and the knock-on effects of the amazing March from Stamford bridge… and then Harold being injured…

still, it united England and we never suffered a successful conquering invasion ever again.

William of Orange

 

[KS55]

As a relative newcomer to this site, can I ask all posters put lol at the end of their messages so I can know if it's serious or not. At the moment, I'm never sure.

I know many of you believe that there is favouritism to teams that play in red. I have to say that it hasn't worked for our lot. lol

Time for ric to add an emoji: "this post is total rubbish, but it may be a Clarkie or an ironic joke or it may be that I am just thick. You decide." Use of this emoji is limited to one per poster per day.

 

[Colthekid]

William of Orange

Technically he was invited in by the protestants as they didn't want a catholic king (James II), but yes, you could argue it was the last successful conquest of mainland Britain. A couple of little corporal's tried in later years, but never got anywhere! :-)

 

[KS55]

Technically he was invited in by the protestants as they didn't want a catholic king (James II), but yes, you could argue it was the last successful conquest of mainland Britain. A couple of little corporal's tried in later years, but never got anywhere! :-)

There was a headline in The Sun: "Immigration Row: England becomes Dutch Colony"