Joke thread

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[Dicko69]

 

[knuckles]

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

Circa 1972 that one. Nearly as bad as:

Young lad goes in the Chippy,

“A fucking fish and a fucking bag of chips you ****”

Owner,

“young man, that is not how you ask for an order, I’ll show you how to do it, take my place behind the counter”

Owner,

“Good evening Sir, I would like a fish and a bag of chips please”

Lad,

“Fuck off you ****, you wouldn’t serve me”.

The customer asks for "Cod & chips", "Sorry", says the fryer we've sold out of cod,
The customer asks again "cod & chips, Same reply "We have no Cod".
For the 3rd time the customer demands cod and chips.
Frustrated, the fryer responds with "Sir, we have no f-c-o-d"
The customer, "There's no F in cod", the fryer, "At last you understand".

 

[knuckles]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Had another strange dream about being on a trampoline in medieval armour… That's three Knights on the bounce now!

 

[Bill Walker]

Had another strange dream about being on a trampoline in medieval armour… That's three Knights on the bounce now!

That should be mentioned in the next round table discussion.

 

[bluebc]

 

[LWashington]

View attachment 56427

The Doctor should have said, "I haven't seen you for a long time".
Patient, "That's because I've been ill".

 

[crazyg]

View attachment 56423

Blessed are the Cheesemakers.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Rylan Clark has revealed he suffered two heart failures during his divorce.

What is he? A fucking octopus?

 

[LWashington]

That should be mentioned in the next round table discussion.

You should Avalon talk about it.

 

[RadcliffeRick]

Blessed are the Cheesemakers.

not meant to be taken literally, it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.”

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Elton John says to Rod Stewart, "I've just got a vintage Rolls Royce for my collection!"

Rod asks, "What Reg?"

Elton shouts, "I'VE JUST GOT A VINTAGE ROLLS ROYCE, YOU DEAF ****."

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]