United Thread - 2023/24

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New Canteen… very progressive.

#mufc players are now leaving Carrington at around 2pm when they were previously free to depart at lunchtime. United are maximising their recently-refurbished canteen and new head chef Omar Meziane as part of Ten Hag's nutritional drive [@samuelluckhurst]

Luke Shaw might not welcome this news, especially if portion control is included.
 
New Canteen… very progressive.

#mufc players are now leaving Carrington at around 2pm when they were previously free to depart at lunchtime. United are maximising their recently-refurbished canteen and new head chef Omar Meziane as part of Ten Hag's nutritional drive [@samuelluckhurst]
Refurbished? I thought it was called a concession when Greggs took over the catering. At least the extra wide chair will be good value in the long run thanks to Luke.
 
Comedy.
It’s a complete shit show that club. It’s got no idea what it’s doing, what direction it’s going in and those within it just take the absolute piss like they don’t give a fuck about the place.

That pissed up old **** retiring was the best day bar our take over.
IMG_1755.jpeg
 
Guys apologies if I'm just a naieve Arsenal fan, not informed of the latest development of that club that absolutely has a divine right to win titles but I was informed by many United fans that they were 'back' and this season would be challenging for the PL title.

Obviously I've been told by Man Utd fans that they are the most knowledgeable fans and their club is the best and biggest in the world so I believed them. So is the current strategy of this magnificent club of impersonating an absolute fucking basket case of an establishment, aimed at lulling other teams into a false sense of security? Surely the Man Utd fans who promised me they were back and would be great again this year, they couldn't be wrong could they?

#confusedgooner
 
Comedy.
It’s a complete shit show that club. It’s got no idea what it’s doing, what direction it’s going in and those within it just take the absolute piss like they don’t give a fuck about the place.

That pissed up old **** retiring was the best day bar our take over.
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This crash and burn idea - they must have been flying very high at one point as the burning descent is being deliciously extended lol
 
Fair play to Sancho for sticking to his guns, would have made his life a lot easier to just back down with a private apology, especially with Antony out of the picture meaning he’d be guaranteed to start every game.
 
I try and pay as little attention to them as I can , hence I genuinely didn't know how much money they had wasted on Anthony until I read it today. He cost them £86m pounds !!! Wow. On top of Sanchos £73m. Thats £159m plus wages on two useless players. mufc ruining football.
 
Guys apologies if I'm just a naieve Arsenal fan, not informed of the latest development of that club that absolutely has a divine right to win titles but I was informed by many United fans that they were 'back' and this season would be challenging for the PL title.

Obviously I've been told by Man Utd fans that they are the most knowledgeable fans and their club is the best and biggest in the world so I believed them. So is the current strategy of this magnificent club of impersonating an absolute fucking basket case of an establishment, aimed at lulling other teams into a false sense of security? Surely the Man Utd fans who promised me they were back and would be great again this year, they couldn't be wrong could they?

#confusedgooner
Dear #confusedgooner,

I regret to inform you that, despite what you may have heard, United are in fact, not 'back'. All claims of backness are from unconfirmed, biased sources and may contain a large amount of red-tinted glasses outlook, denial and bitter refusal to accept reality. It is widely believed that in actuality, United have regressed further into a state of decidedly unbackness, one which threatens the integrity, status and position of the club as a whole in the near and distant future.

Although we cannot claim any responsibility for others false perceptions of reality, we do at most have a degree of empathy towards others who may or may not have believed or been in the presence of the empassioned ramblings of those who consider a 4ft dwarf as a "towering defender", or that a player who spins around with a football in circles acheiving nothing as a "future great talent".

I can only speak for myself when I say that I fear you may have been mislead and can only offer future advice that when confronted with such person in future, I would recommned NOT laughing in their face, as tempting as this might be, as this reaction could prompt a violent response.

Yours

Ab Lue.
 
Guys apologies if I'm just a naieve Arsenal fan, not informed of the latest development of that club that absolutely has a divine right to win titles but I was informed by many United fans that they were 'back' and this season would be challenging for the PL title.

Obviously I've been told by Man Utd fans that they are the most knowledgeable fans and their club is the best and biggest in the world so I believed them. So is the current strategy of this magnificent club of impersonating an absolute fucking basket case of an establishment, aimed at lulling other teams into a false sense of security? Surely the Man Utd fans who promised me they were back and would be great again this year, they couldn't be wrong could they?

#confusedgooner
There,ll be as much of a challenge as your lot, hope this helps:-)
 
What a fucking mess of a club. They embody everything that is wrong in society.

City have driven them down into the sewers trying to chase our tail.

It’s a sight to behold.

“not in my lifetime” is never more relevant.

The old crow must have seen too much horse spunk over the years.

A City fucking treble while that lot are running about on fire…stupendous -:)
 
Dear #confusedgooner,

I regret to inform you that, despite what you may have heard, United are in fact, not 'back'. All claims of backness are from unconfirmed, biased sources and may contain a large amount of red-tinted glasses outlook, denial and bitter refusal to accept reality. It is widely believed that in actuality, United have regressed further into a state of decidedly unbackness, one which threatens the integrity, status and position of the club as a whole in the near and distant future.

Although we cannot claim any responsibility for others false perceptions of reality, we do at most have a degree of empathy towards others who may or may not have believed or been in the presence of the empassioned ramblings of those who consider a 4ft dwarf as a "towering defender", or that a player who spins around with a football in circles acheiving nothing as a "future great talent".

I can only speak for myself when I say that I fear you may have been mislead and can only offer future advice that when confronted with such person in future, I would recommned NOT laughing in their face, as tempting as this might be, as this reaction could prompt a violent response.

Yours

Ab Lue.
Dear Mr Biker

Thank you Sir for clarifying the matter and enlightening me to the possibility, no matter how incredible it sounds, that Manchester United fans display a propensity to use their derrieres as a vehicle for communication.

In future I will make sure to apply a pinch, nay a handful of salt to anything I hear from that fanbase. It appears after all that they CAN be moved, and in fact the correct pronunciation is 'Gory, Gory Man United', being representative of the bloodbath currently taking place at the Pride of Singapore.

Yours

#enlightenedgooner
 
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