Search results

A guy goes to the doctors and says I’m having trouble with my knob, doctor says drop your trousers and let’s have a look … his knob is burnt and bloody with skin hanging off, the doc says how did you get it in this state? Well says the bloke I’m a lorry driver and when I’m on my rounds the...

If there is a pork pie on top of Bradford town hall clock, what time is it? Summat ta ate !

Hovis,warburton,kingsmill,Robert’s …. I see bread people !

Missed that game due to my sister in law getting married on that day, I knew the marriage wouldn’t last as he was a rag knob ! Couldn’t get to a tv to watch match of the day either no Sunday repeats then . Six months later they split ! Grrrrr

Ok unbeaten records gone ! They had to end sometime … So now we begin again, onwards and upwards !

Idris Elba blasting through some guys fucking roof on the sky broadband ad, any savings on broadband are lost by having to get the roof repaired … And don’t get me started on the AAs “ what’s wrong with the car “ ad who the fuck robs a bank that’s upstairs?

Hyena on his way to the water hole gets attacked by a lion and gets badly beaten up! This happens every day for a week so he decides to hire a bodyguard, next day on his way to the water hole with his bodyguard a large gorilla he is once again attacked , the gorilla swings up into a nearby tree...

Intelligent, articulate and defends city … nedum onuoha now he’d make a great pundit !

Did you hear about the cannibal who came back off holiday with no legs? He went self catering!

I used to call my dad igor but he always got the hump!

As a kid I used to watch the Vulcan bombers fly over our prefab on Victoria avenue east with my dad, side note he used to work at frankensteins rubber flying suits in newton heath, I thought he was taking the piss but it was a real factory.

115 rears it’s head again ! Just seen mourinho on sly sports thinking he will win a premier league title through his time at nited when we are deducted points after they finished second to us … another deluded prick given air time !

Not to forget sly sports had it as their game of the day on Saturday night Lower table clash game of the day? Someone’s having a laugh!

A guy goes into a pub orders a pint of bitter , takes a drink then says PISS ! Puts the glass down then walks out, this happens every day for a week the landlord loses his patience and when the guy orders a pint of bitter the landlord says PISS OFF ! The guy says oh! I’ll have a pint of lager then !

What do you get if you cross an owl with a hedgehog? A prick that stays up all night !

The Lone Ranger and tonto ride into town after a hot day on the range and head into the saloon for a well deserved drink . The bartender refuses to serve tonto so the Lone Ranger tells tonto to jog round the block while he has a couple of drinks, much later and many drinks later the bartender...

Bet he wears a herringbone suit in that plaice sorry I will stop carping on!

Magician on a cruise liner trying to do his act, keeps getting ruined by the captains parrot saying it’s up his sleeve, behind his back,in his hat etc etc Suddenly the ship hits an iceberg and sinks, the magician manages to swim to a life raft and hangs on, the parrot flutters down and lands on...

It’s probably been said elsewhere so I apologise in advance… if the premier league won why have they called an emergency meeting? Why not wait till the next scheduled one? Also heard bishops comments on talkshite … no mention of the 5 year Europe ban it’s all glossed over! Sports washed by the...

Rashford should be off !