Anti depressants..

[tolmie's hairdoo]

I've had several bouts of depression in my life, first 83/84 second1990 third 98, 4th in 04 and 5th I'm on the verge of having another. That said I am going to win this time. Read on. ..

First depression was caused by dabling in too much I shouldn't have.LSD mushies weed cigs and alcohol. Fucked me up to being admitted to a mental health ward. Thanks to the love and support of family and friends, our wonderful medical staff in the NHS and medication and counselling.

Second bout was 1990. Basically I met the girl of my dreams who became Mrs BMR. She was the one for me beautiful in everyway. Probably too good for me but she could see my good qualities. I suppose I can't put my finger exactly why I broke down again, perhaps fear of losing her tipped my seretonin spirit Bubblé out of sync. Anyway she stayed with me and helped me cope and within 3 months I was back to my usual happy go lucky self.

Third time in 98iirc was caused by a combination of sciatica and prolapsed disc, fucked me up physically, and trying to work continental shifts in a factory in injection moulding, plus RSI, I hit the brick wall. I tried to pay the mortgage feed us and the like but I was in excruciating pain trying to blank it out. A combination of irregular working and sleeping patterns, not eating properly and too much alcohol tipped me over. 6 weeks paid sick leave, lots of rest, nutrition and love and I was back to full fitness.

4th time, a result of my ex wife playing away(not sexually) seeing another guy. Aforementioned reasons in other threads have left me half the guy I used to be overall. I always try and strive to be positive, easier said than done when depression is looming (for me) in modern day society

I try and walk that thin blue line of sanity, and I've done a bloody good job through my experience. Being rational calm and focused is key and I usually am. But,,,,, I reflect back sometimes and feel like a failed man. Losing my wife best friend lover and soulmate(well I thought she was) and 2 kids has left mental scars on me that seem to mostly erase, and then go all blotchy. It's like a black cloud that makes me go a bit maudlin.

Work has burned me out, i've been off work for a year now. I've gone from being headhunted with my 2 workmates to the best companies for 3 years as a subcontractor, to this. We were one of THE best gangs in the country, accredited to National grid Arquiva MOD Voda 02 3 Huawei Ericsson etc etc. High pressure, hard working conditions travelling the entire UK including Highlands and islands. Fantastic rewarding and enjoyable work, I was happy. But me being the hamster in my working week burned me out. Was earning good money too.
Lived off savings 10 months, then had to sign on sick for a whopping £74.36. my sicknote has run out now, I'm getting nowt. I need to get my arse in gear and get back to my best. I will as I value myself family friends(including several off here) and most of all, the woman i love.

At the moment I'm struggling as I lost my Sertraline for 3 days. I will strive to get back though. I've helped others overcome depression through my own experience offering my advice on how to Beat it. It's not easy somerimes to counsel myself though : /

If this has helped anyone, this was worth typing.

Please don't feel embarrassed, weak, or ashamed. Mental illness has made me an overall kind and rational guy with a quirky self depreciating humour. Laughter is important to me, more important than being a miserable sod. And I've been a miserable sod. And a ****. I need to stop using that word, and I will.

Come on you blues!

CTID.

Thanks for sharing this, bud.

Keep falling forward.

 

[andyhinch]

I've had several bouts of depression in my life, first 83/84 second1990 third 98, 4th in 04 and 5th I'm on the verge of having another. That said I am going to win this time. Read on. ..

First depression was caused by dabling in too much I shouldn't have.LSD mushies weed cigs and alcohol. Fucked me up to being admitted to a mental health ward. Thanks to the love and support of family and friends, our wonderful medical staff in the NHS and medication and counselling.

Second bout was 1990. Basically I met the girl of my dreams who became Mrs BMR. She was the one for me beautiful in everyway. Probably too good for me but she could see my good qualities. I suppose I can't put my finger exactly why I broke down again, perhaps fear of losing her tipped my seretonin spirit Bubblé out of sync. Anyway she stayed with me and helped me cope and within 3 months I was back to my usual happy go lucky self.

Third time in 98iirc was caused by a combination of sciatica and prolapsed disc, fucked me up physically, and trying to work continental shifts in a factory in injection moulding, plus RSI, I hit the brick wall. I tried to pay the mortgage feed us and the like but I was in excruciating pain trying to blank it out. A combination of irregular working and sleeping patterns, not eating properly and too much alcohol tipped me over. 6 weeks paid sick leave, lots of rest, nutrition and love and I was back to full fitness.

4th time, a result of my ex wife playing away(not sexually) seeing another guy. Aforementioned reasons in other threads have left me half the guy I used to be overall. I always try and strive to be positive, easier said than done when depression is looming (for me) in modern day society

I try and walk that thin blue line of sanity, and I've done a bloody good job through my experience. Being rational calm and focused is key and I usually am. But,,,,, I reflect back sometimes and feel like a failed man. Losing my wife best friend lover and soulmate(well I thought she was) and 2 kids has left mental scars on me that seem to mostly erase, and then go all blotchy. It's like a black cloud that makes me go a bit maudlin.

Work has burned me out, i've been off work for a year now. I've gone from being headhunted with my 2 workmates to the best companies for 3 years as a subcontractor, to this. We were one of THE best gangs in the country, accredited to National grid Arquiva MOD Voda 02 3 Huawei Ericsson etc etc. High pressure, hard working conditions travelling the entire UK including Highlands and islands. Fantastic rewarding and enjoyable work, I was happy. But me being the hamster in my working week burned me out. Was earning good money too.
Lived off savings 10 months, then had to sign on sick for a whopping £74.36. my sicknote has run out now, I'm getting nowt. I need to get my arse in gear and get back to my best. I will as I value myself family friends(including several off here) and most of all, the woman i love.

At the moment I'm struggling as I lost my Sertraline for 3 days. I will strive to get back though. I've helped others overcome depression through my own experience offering my advice on how to Beat it. It's not easy somerimes to counsel myself though : /

If this has helped anyone, this was worth typing.

Please don't feel embarrassed, weak, or ashamed. Mental illness has made me an overall kind and rational guy with a quirky self depreciating humour. Laughter is important to me, more important than being a miserable sod. And I've been a miserable sod. And a ****. I need to stop using that word, and I will.

Come on you blues!

CTID.

Great post, keep going only you know your best avoidance techniques, I ran out of mine at the weekend (Mirtazapine) wasn’t fun, there’s always a good day after the dark ones :-)

 

[kaz7]

I've had several bouts of depression in my life, first 83/84 second1990 third 98, 4th in 04 and 5th I'm on the verge of having another. That said I am going to win this time. Read on. ..

First depression was caused by dabling in too much I shouldn't have.LSD mushies weed cigs and alcohol. Fucked me up to being admitted to a mental health ward. Thanks to the love and support of family and friends, our wonderful medical staff in the NHS and medication and counselling.

Second bout was 1990. Basically I met the girl of my dreams who became Mrs BMR. She was the one for me beautiful in everyway. Probably too good for me but she could see my good qualities. I suppose I can't put my finger exactly why I broke down again, perhaps fear of losing her tipped my seretonin spirit Bubblé out of sync. Anyway she stayed with me and helped me cope and within 3 months I was back to my usual happy go lucky self.

Third time in 98iirc was caused by a combination of sciatica and prolapsed disc, fucked me up physically, and trying to work continental shifts in a factory in injection moulding, plus RSI, I hit the brick wall. I tried to pay the mortgage feed us and the like but I was in excruciating pain trying to blank it out. A combination of irregular working and sleeping patterns, not eating properly and too much alcohol tipped me over. 6 weeks paid sick leave, lots of rest, nutrition and love and I was back to full fitness.

4th time, a result of my ex wife playing away(not sexually) seeing another guy. Aforementioned reasons in other threads have left me half the guy I used to be overall. I always try and strive to be positive, easier said than done when depression is looming (for me) in modern day society

I try and walk that thin blue line of sanity, and I've done a bloody good job through my experience. Being rational calm and focused is key and I usually am. But,,,,, I reflect back sometimes and feel like a failed man. Losing my wife best friend lover and soulmate(well I thought she was) and 2 kids has left mental scars on me that seem to mostly erase, and then go all blotchy. It's like a black cloud that makes me go a bit maudlin.

Work has burned me out, i've been off work for a year now. I've gone from being headhunted with my 2 workmates to the best companies for 3 years as a subcontractor, to this. We were one of THE best gangs in the country, accredited to National grid Arquiva MOD Voda 02 3 Huawei Ericsson etc etc. High pressure, hard working conditions travelling the entire UK including Highlands and islands. Fantastic rewarding and enjoyable work, I was happy. But me being the hamster in my working week burned me out. Was earning good money too.
Lived off savings 10 months, then had to sign on sick for a whopping £74.36. my sicknote has run out now, I'm getting nowt. I need to get my arse in gear and get back to my best. I will as I value myself family friends(including several off here) and most of all, the woman i love.

At the moment I'm struggling as I lost my Sertraline for 3 days. I will strive to get back though. I've helped others overcome depression through my own experience offering my advice on how to Beat it. It's not easy somerimes to counsel myself though : /

If this has helped anyone, this was worth typing.

Please don't feel embarrassed, weak, or ashamed. Mental illness has made me an overall kind and rational guy with a quirky self depreciating humour. Laughter is important to me, more important than being a miserable sod. And I've been a miserable sod. And a ****. I need to stop using that word, and I will.

Come on you blues!

CTID.

You will always be a **** :D

XXXXXXXXXX

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

Thanks to all well wishers. It means a lot fellow blues. : ) x

 

[stonerblue]

I've had several bouts of depression in my life, first 83/84 second1990 third 98, 4th in 04 and 5th I'm on the verge of having another. That said I am going to win this time. Read on. ..

First depression was caused by dabling in too much I shouldn't have.LSD mushies weed cigs and alcohol. Fucked me up to being admitted to a mental health ward. Thanks to the love and support of family and friends, our wonderful medical staff in the NHS and medication and counselling.

Second bout was 1990. Basically I met the girl of my dreams who became Mrs BMR. She was the one for me beautiful in everyway. Probably too good for me but she could see my good qualities. I suppose I can't put my finger exactly why I broke down again, perhaps fear of losing her tipped my seretonin spirit Bubblé out of sync. Anyway she stayed with me and helped me cope and within 3 months I was back to my usual happy go lucky self.

Third time in 98iirc was caused by a combination of sciatica and prolapsed disc, fucked me up physically, and trying to work continental shifts in a factory in injection moulding, plus RSI, I hit the brick wall. I tried to pay the mortgage feed us and the like but I was in excruciating pain trying to blank it out. A combination of irregular working and sleeping patterns, not eating properly and too much alcohol tipped me over. 6 weeks paid sick leave, lots of rest, nutrition and love and I was back to full fitness.

4th time, a result of my ex wife playing away(not sexually) seeing another guy. Aforementioned reasons in other threads have left me half the guy I used to be overall. I always try and strive to be positive, easier said than done when depression is looming (for me) in modern day society

I try and walk that thin blue line of sanity, and I've done a bloody good job through my experience. Being rational calm and focused is key and I usually am. But,,,,, I reflect back sometimes and feel like a failed man. Losing my wife best friend lover and soulmate(well I thought she was) and 2 kids has left mental scars on me that seem to mostly erase, and then go all blotchy. It's like a black cloud that makes me go a bit maudlin.

Work has burned me out, i've been off work for a year now. I've gone from being headhunted with my 2 workmates to the best companies for 3 years as a subcontractor, to this. We were one of THE best gangs in the country, accredited to National grid Arquiva MOD Voda 02 3 Huawei Ericsson etc etc. High pressure, hard working conditions travelling the entire UK including Highlands and islands. Fantastic rewarding and enjoyable work, I was happy. But me being the hamster in my working week burned me out. Was earning good money too.
Lived off savings 10 months, then had to sign on sick for a whopping £74.36. my sicknote has run out now, I'm getting nowt. I need to get my arse in gear and get back to my best. I will as I value myself family friends(including several off here) and most of all, the woman i love.

At the moment I'm struggling as I lost my Sertraline for 3 days. I will strive to get back though. I've helped others overcome depression through my own experience offering my advice on how to Beat it. It's not easy somerimes to counsel myself though : /

If this has helped anyone, this was worth typing.

Please don't feel embarrassed, weak, or ashamed. Mental illness has made me an overall kind and rational guy with a quirky self depreciating humour. Laughter is important to me, more important than being a miserable sod. And I've been a miserable sod. And a ****. I need to stop using that word, and I will.

Come on you blues!

CTID.

 

[Dr Jacoby]

I had my first counselling session yesterday but the therapist suggested that my difficulties in life and proclivity to feel indifferent towards others is mainly due to autism.

Even though Citalopram has been effective for anxiety, if it’s going to completely enervate me and counteract the effects of Ritalin, I have to question if it’s worth it.

It’s been 3 weeks since I upped the dose to 40mg but I now feel kind of apathetic about being apathetic (if that makes sense) and my brain is even more muddled and foggy than usual.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

You will always be a **** :D

XXXXXXXXXX

You remind a cracked egg Kaz.
Your allwhite with me and a good chuck chuckle egg chuck; )
And you're always up for a laugh n' a yolk hun x

You'll remember that old charlie says ad, - Charlie says don't talk to strangers-meeowww" ... "Meeoww".

Nowadays Charlie says "woof bark, donkey, one eyed dogs, cakey pig and that bread shop ......over there": )

 

[BlueHammer85]

Good thread this with a lot of heartfelt advice.
I’d like to know, how do you really know you have depression ?
Last few months I’ve really struggled and battled to get through some days. Feel generally sad and have a aching lump in throat. It’s hard to explain. But sometimes at work I really just sit there zombied out and really have to fake hard to work up a conversation and be interested in one.
A lot is happening in my life, I get married in 2 weeks and looking to move house. So maybe it’s more anxiety with this coming up , there’s a few personal circumstances I’m struggling with which I can’t say.
I’ve lost my mojo totally in going gym, running, seeing my mates when I know all these are beneficial to my happiness. Hell, I’ve been stuck on the same album for over a month because I can’t get motivated to do a review (much to all your relief)
Point is , do I go docs for some sort of medication or just keep battling, get through each day and wait to just generally feel happier.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

Good thread this with a lot of heartfelt advice.
I’d like to know, how do you really know you have depression ?
Last few months I’ve really struggled and battled to get through some days. Feel generally sad and have a aching lump in throat. It’s hard to explain. But sometimes at work I really just sit there zombied out and really have to fake hard to work up a conversation and be interested in one.
A lot is happening in my life, I get married in 2 weeks and looking to move house. So maybe it’s more anxiety with this coming up , there’s a few personal circumstances I’m struggling with which I can’t say.
I’ve lost my mojo totally in going gym, running, seeing my mates when I know all these are beneficial to my happiness. Hell, I’ve been stuck on the same album for over a month because I can’t get motivated to do a review (much to all your relief)
Point is , do I go docs for some sort of medication or just keep battling, get through each day and wait to just generally feel happier.

Good honest post mate.

Seems to me you may be feeling stressed and a bit anxious, maudlin too. I think many people share the same hopes and fears. All the bad news on TV Radio and Social media sites. Taking it all in is harrowing at times, especially if one has a good unselfish heart. But my old man once said to me when I was really down with depression- "Son, there's only one person at the end of the day who can help yourself in life and that's yourself".

Wise words dad RIP. : )

Think about that mate.

Negatively emanates and attracts negativity. Positive energy attracts positive energy. People pick up on this, especially close friends and family. When you smile and are full of energy people will say you look good. Not as many say you look weary and tired for fear of upsetting you and knocking your confidence. But sometimes this is necessary, as depression can sneak up very fast and next thing you're consumed by it falling into a slippery pit. its so damned hard to climb out of. Been there and I aint falling back in, even though ive been teetering on the brink of that pit these last few months.

My work kept my body fit and my mind clear calm and rational, but I worked too hard and had to stop, or I'd have fallen into that pit again. I could feel the warning signs of lethergy fatigue and weariness. Listen to your body, as daft da it sounds.


My advice (and it's not easy for me sometimes) is to take a good look in the mirror at yourself? If you see a sad lonely guy looking back at you then you will be, to yourself and others.

Nowadays I look a bit sometimes in the mirror but I see an honest guy looking back at me whosw honest with himself....

I used to look at myself and think I looked confused angry sad lonely desperate and helpless. But there has been a lot of murky water passed under my bridge since.

Today is a new day, and a start of going forward in a positive way. My family are there for me, although I don't want to burden my problems on them, particularly my elderly mum
My best mate of 37 years has been there for me, like a rock . I've confided in him and can talk about anything. He's had depression too, but nowadays he looks in good spirit and a lot healthier. I'm off to join my local gym shortly to get back in trim. I owe this to myself and future Mrs bmr, she's been there for me through my latest setback, I'm a lucky guy to be with her.

Confide in people you trust.if you can', go to your doc and he should refer you to a trained counselor who will talk to you confidentially as they are trained to do so,and many hace suffered depression themselves.

First and foremost, alcohol is a depressant, be the master not the slave. If you drink too much whilst depressed or isn't a good thing. Drink socially and be merry than shitfaced into a stupor. Words and actions cannot be erased, and alcohol(and drugs) can lead to spiraling even further into a black hole of no return...

Drink plenty of water and eat as hethy as you can. Keep occupied, excercise is key to keeping fit. Some real good advice from those more qualified than me on this in fitness thread.

Good luck mate. Anytime you want a bit of help and advice, pm me.

 

[Dr Jacoby]

After over a year on Citalopram, I’m going to speak to a doctor today regarding the possibility of weaning off it.

Whilst I believe Citalopram was useful in the first six months for treating anxiety, I don’t believe it’s helpful anymore. For many months now everything has seemed kind of ‘meh’, and increasing the dosage to 40mg only made me feel more confused and apathetic.

I don’t want to be emotionally blunted for the rest of my life, and now I believe is the right time to try and come off the medication.

Incidentally, my GP has been on the very same SSRI for over three years.