Away ground 'TOILET' comedy gold stories...

Not football related either here.

Last year I used to drink cider, one night I decided to exchange a classic apple for the new pear. This was before it had a new recipe. They made a new recipe because the shite was laxatives in a can!
Went for a Garlic chilli chicken vindaloo with the lads, beautiful. Stopped off at the off-license on the way back, 6 pack of the new pear bulmers. Headed back to my mates gaff for a lads night in, you know. Cracked a can open, admired the taste.

4 cans later, something stirs in my bowels. Oh lord, I ran to the bathroom..

Niagara Falls didn't have nothing on the flood that came barelling outta me hole!! I'm there for 20 mins, at the least. The onslaught stops and I take a breather, look down to see if the boxers are ok, they were but fookin' hell the smell nearly knocked me back into the bowl!

I dont mind taking a piss after a drink, but not out of me fucking arse!! I was like a cripple the next day, limping around.
The runs for the whole next day, sure the Indian didn't help but before they changed the recipe. It was laxatives in a can, anyone try it before?
 
with all these fancy new stadiums springing up the days of medieval bogs at league grounds will soon disappear forever. such places with piss streaked open air walls were the old grounds at chesterfield, rotherham, cardiff, swansea & of course the kippax.

one of the worst places for a piss was southampton's old dell ground. the away end had just one men's bog containing 4 stalls, a cubicle & a washbasin. come half time there were upwards of 500 blues busting for a piss in a bog the size of 2 phone boxes with 6 outlets. by that time it was pretty well impossible for anyone to either get in or out. fortunately i'd clocked the facilities on the way in & sneaked a piss just before half time but i did allow myself a smug smile at the scrum that followed.
 
Was anyone else getting slightly concerned at one point during that m27 story?

I thought social services were going to arrive until the last paragraph.
 
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