Bereavement

Really sorry for your loss.

I lost my mum in 05 and my dad in 06 and I still think about them every day. On a practicle level don't rush back to work too early. I went back after 3 days with my mum and it was too soon. I left a bit longer after my dad and the extra time off helped a lot. 99.9999% of work places will help you so don't worry about having time off.
 
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Got it all backwards didn't he. People have had to say this shit to themselves cos the mortality rate is 100% The living are the dead in waiting. Guaranteed. Gone forever.
 
1961_vintage said:
I hear this quite often. It's only the fact that they mean well that stops me punching their faces in.
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Exactly mate.
I no you will have heard it a million times but every day it gets a tiny tiny bit easier.
Well it is for me.
But everyone is different.
Keep ur chin up blue
 
PinkFinal said:
I'm starting this thread for anyone who is struggling after bereavement.

I lost my mum last night. She was 75. She was having breathing problems and was in hospital. She was all set for release but suddenly took a turn for the worst.

I think I've accepted it. Been crying lots but now feel numb. It doesn't seem real. Here one moment gone the next.
I'm glad I was there when she passed and that I said what I had to.

Been thinking about my childhood and everything my mum did for me. Of course I feel regretful for all the times I put her through grief. But she wasn't perfect, no one is.


Was reading this so much good advice.

https://support.sueryder.org/practical-emotional-advice/how-can-i-cope-bereavement
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Lost my Mum 2 years ago today, she went in for routine surgery and they discoved cancer and she was gone within a week.Been to Gorton Cem today with some flowers. Her last wish was to be buried back in Manchester despite having lived in Sheffield since 1968.

Took me a year to not cry at the graveside when I went so you will get through it mate.Think about the positive times, dont dwell on what you could have said or done, no ones perfect.
 
I feel for the OP and really think the thread is one of the most worthwhile on off topic, my life seems to be littered with funerals, my mums side had a lethal history of heart disease, big family and the cause always seemed to be the same, Stroke, heart attack etc and it was kind of accepted bizarrely enough, however my Dad checked out when I was 16 and it was crushing he quided me into my profession bought me my first few season tickets it was bitter.

My mum died when I was 30, I had been working in the States got back on a Thursday first thing I always did was nip round to drop her off a piece of knickknack I had picked up for her, she had retired and had recently had a new hip, bright as a button pleased as punch to see me after 4/5 weeks, I went to see my maud and booked a rapid week in the sun got back home and my brother was on the step Mum had died about 3 hours after my visit. So 30 and both gone, my brother never got over it and as bad as it is seeing your parents go it was the biggest hammer blow when our kid drank and drugged himself into an early grave. That lad was responsible for most of my musical tastes.

Me? Well I never forget and every time we score I think of my dad, my mum invested a sensibility in me for sure and I know was proud of any of my meagre achievements but it is hard at times being the sole survivor of my immediate family, no in fact it’s grim but I have a smashing wife who when the other night I hit a dark mood knew exactly what was up.
 
Lost my dear mum 12 years ago, miss her everyday, when she died, so did the family unit, kept us all together.
5 days before she passed, had a " funny" feeling, threw a sickie at work and took her out for dinner to a nice pub, Boatyard Withins, a just outside Blackburn. Thinking back about it now, she must have had an inkling, talked about what I was to inherit.
We had a lovely time, hope she was thinking about it when she passed. Over 150 attended her funeral, a very popular and we'll liked lady.
You only have 1 mum, no matter had bad or whatever she is to you, treasure her and love her. Miss you mum xxx
 
Can’t say too much but I’m dreading the day. Last year I had my grandmother, 2 of my close uncles and an auntie die, only time we met the family was at the funeral :(

Blessed to have my parents here especially my dad after he overcame prostate cancer and was told he’s literally all gone in percentage
 
Ten years next weekend, on 50th Munich anniversary day, when I found my mum dead. Funnily enough I’d been v anxious but thought it was derby day nerves. Absolutely devastated, but with time I’ve realised how important it was for it to be me who found her, and how blessed she was that it was over v quickly. Still convinced she helped us out that day. Miss her terribly, and my dad, the reason I’m a blue, who died of cancer many years before her.
Thinking of you all in here who are struggling it’s a tough time, but the good memories come back eventually. We carry the memories on and make sure they’re not forgotten.
 
All my family think I am an hard hearted bastard, cry at nowt, show no emotion...but it comes to my mum, I cry heart out.......
Please, all those who fall out or whatever with your mum, go up to her and give her a great big hug n tell her you love her...
You will feel a lot better and it will help when their time does come.
I really shouldn't be on this topic, but felt I had to put something down in print....
 
1961_vintage said:
I hear this quite often. It's only the fact that they mean well that stops me punching their faces in.
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Mate I started this thread because my mum died on Monday I actually quite like the quote and it's stuff like that which though cheesy to some I find comforting.
Two years ago I told my mum I love you so much and I have cringed about it ever since but now I'm glad I did.
 
Not sure it was just my mum and dad but neither really ever told the three of us that they loved us growing up. I never had grounds to think that they didn't btw, it just wasn't vocalised.

Since having my children and my parents hearing me say it everyday and most nights before bed, I got round to saying it to my dad pretty regularly in the last couple of years. Once he even said it back! Only after he died and I told my siblings about this that they mentioned that theyd never heard Dad say it to them. Could almost see them kicking themselves. (And accepting that I was the favourite after all...)

Make the most of the time you have and say what needs to be said before it's too late for one of you to say it or the other one to hear it.xx
 
I had a dream visitation from my mum the other night. Apparently these are very common.



It was like she was in heaven, spoke to me like she was free of all worries.
It was quite an experience.
 
So sorry for you suffering the biggest loss you can suffer.
Lost mine Jan 82 and still miss her every day,and shed tears when i read losses like yours.
Take care mate.
 
PinkFinal said:
I had a dream visitation from my mum the other night. Apparently these are very common.



It was like she was in heaven, spoke to me like she was free of all worries.
It was quite an experience.
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I had similar a couple of months back,i cant remember the surroundings but she hugged me,and i actually felt her arms around me,i woke in tears.Probably the weirdest experience i have ever had,and the first time ive mentioned it to anyone.
 
I lost my dad at 13 and my mum had a scare when I was 23 although she’s still with us.

The more recent things I’ve experienced were the losses of people of my own age. Two went to cancer pre-30 and two to other problems in their early 30’s. It can hit home badly when they’re so young.

Good people rallying around to help those suffering can take the edge off things slightly.
 
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