Best Alan Partridge Quotes

[foxy]

"have the vandles got to your car again"

Alan- "afraid so scum sub human scum"

 

[buzzer1]

Stop getting bond wrong.

 

[moonies lovechild]

Can't remember the exact quote but when he is sat having breakfast with the two Irish blokes and they are talking about U2. Goes something like "I know what they mean. I sit down to read the papers and the wife is nagging me to cut the grass and I just think Sunday Bloody Sunday".

 

[ultimateharold]

Not likely, you're a spastic, you're a mentalist.
(Drives Off)
Arr, dead end!

 

[-dabz-]

Michael- " I can't hit the customers Mr Partridge....Ive been told."

 

[svennis pennis]

I've got the alan Partridge app on my phone, it makes me crack up all day. personal favourites are "OOOOOOOOO Mince" and "I love you...in a way."

 

[foxy]

Alan Partridge- "Roger Moore is there and yes hes with a lady, hes necking with her, then he goes ive got to go love, somethings come up"

Geordie Mike- "Aye he means his cock"

 

[Freestyler]

Dave Clifton - CONE take a joke Alan?
Alan - Oh Fuck Off!
Dave Clifton - Oh my god, i am actually speechless, dave clifton is actually speechless!
Alan - I wish you was but you don't sound it!
Dave Clifton - you and i know alan that dead air radio is a crime, to fill your show with such bad language!
Alan - Actually it's 1 minute past 11, it's your show and i am a guest and you have failed to control me, check the smallprint in your CONE-tract!

fuckin brilliant! lol

 

[masterwig]

I wish Michael was real. I want to be his mate.

 

[foxy]

I wish Michael was real. I want to be his mate.

he does the "compareee the market dot commmmmmmmm, compare the meeerkat dot commm"