Best Alan Partridge Quotes

[Joycee Banercheck]

from the radio show when he was interviewing a f1 driver
alan "now im not about to ask the same old questions you must have heard a thousand times "
f1 driver "why thank you alan i am bored answering them to be truefull "
alan " well you wont get them on this show ...............right .......whats the fastest car you have ever drove ? "

I loved that episode.


Alan:Right! What do you think about, when you're racing your car? What do you think about?

Michel:Surprisingly, err, I think about the race.

Alan:Right. Um...

Michel:What do you think about when you're interviewing someone?

Alan:Well, nothing, umm... But err, do you, when you're driving along, do you ever think, "Oooh, sacre blue! I've forgotten to set the video to record, I don't know, Top Gear..."?

Michel:What is err... what is "Top Gear"?

Alan:Oh err, alright then, erm, you've forgotten to tape Cyrano de Bergerac with Gerard Depardue.

Michel:Depardieu.

Alan:Depardur.

Michel:Depardieu.

Alan:Depardiur.

Michel:Depardieu.

Alan:Depardiure.

Michel:De!

Alan:De.

Michel:Par!

Alan:Par.

Michel:Dieu!

Alan:Dieu.

Michel:Dieu!

Alan:Dieu.

Michel:Dieu!

Alan:Dieu...

Michel:It's so important, Alan.

Alan:Right.

Michel:I think, err, I think what you're trying to ask me is, "Do I ever get distracted when I'm driving?" No I don't.

Alan:No, no, no, no, I'm quite specifically asking you, do you forget to tape Cyrano de Bergerac with Gerard...

Michel:Depardieu...

Alan:Him, yeah!

 

[MMA]

On viewing the 5 bedroom bastard house -

Estate Agent 'there's a deaf school around the corner'

Partridge 'Does that mean there will be noise or wont be noise, difficult to work out that one.

great episode that one. Alan- My 5 bedroom bastard house... 1 flush gone.

 

[Freestyler]

On viewing the 5 bedroom bastard house -

Estate Agent 'there's a deaf school around the corner'

Partridge 'Does that mean there will be noise or wont be noise, difficult to work out that one.

great episode that one. Alan- My 5 bedroom bastard house... 1 flush gone.

Their just deaf right?, their not deaf offenders are they?

class!!!! lol

One of my favourites is Prayer Wave chat show radio interview on his book with that woman about her drug addiction.

She says They use Ketamine to tranqualise the horse and then extract the horses' semen,
AP says How do they do that?
She says I don't know! The same way you would a human being,
AP says What send him into a cubicle with some magazines! They've got hoofs for goodness sake! Four of them, it would take some doing, but I can't see it!

fuckin quality! lol

 

[KAL_EL]

stop getting bond wrong!!!!!
im not driving a mini metro lynne
lynne: Its not a mini metro its an mg
alan:theyve rebadged it you fool!!!

 

[kp789]

Lynn ive put me foot on a Spike

 

[foxy]

if you see a lovely family having a picnic in a field with a nice pond in it, you fill in the pound, plough through the family then blow up the tree and the use the leaves to make a dress for your wife whos also your brother.

 

[Freestyler]

Lynn ive put me foot on a Spike

After 3 lynne take your foot of the spike, but alan my foot isn't on the spike! lol

 

[jpinblue]

"You make pigs smoke" "You feed beef burgers to swans"

Alan - "I have probably got more friends that you have got cows...
Farmer - "This is ridiculous"
Alan - "..how many cows have you got?"
Farmer - "I have got 100 cows"
Alan - "errr, I have got 104 friends"

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCeNROdfDIE" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCeNROdfDIE</a>

LMFAO i forgot this one....quality!

 

[papa lazarou]

Lynn....... Ive popped out again

 

[Swales lives]

"It's okay Lynn, the boys are back in the barracks"

"I want to feel an airbag go off in my face"