Breaking up with someone

[@BluePhil8]

You could always tell her it’s because she won’t do anal and then after you’ve done the deed just say ‘only joking, I’m still leaving you’

 

[dronefromsector7G]

That's exactly what you told me?

Well, did you get the boob job and your snatch tightened?

 

[Odd socks]

Never broken up with anyone, they all dumped me.
I was a waste of time as a boyfriend, I was ok until I lost interest then I was crap. Football, horses, dogs, poaching, no end of other things to do back in the day's.
They were glammed up on a Saturday night by seven, dad's told them they looked stunning as they left, back in the house by eight as I was at the dog track or pissed after the football.
Nobody stands my daughter up I guess it went, so dumped I was never too step foot in their house again.
Yes I was a bit of a twat but still get on with all the one's that live locally, probably because they dumped me rather than me dumping them ( never failed, although I've now been married over 35 years so perhaps it did once).
Not sure how it works these days with the mobile phone mind - youngsters today don't know what it's like without being joined by a phone 24/7.
Anyway back to the question, be a twat works every time.

 

[snorky]

Calling a lady by the wrong name whilst bumming her has worked for me in the past.

 

[Kinkladze 1]

What do you guys think is the kindest most compassionate way, and I am not going to say it's not you it's me

The truth is the kindest way. Dont be a pussy.

 

[@BluePhil8]

What do you guys think is the kindest most compassionate way, and I am not going to say it's not you it's me

How about ‘it’s not me, it’s you’?

 

[Del_Bosque]

Ghost them

 

[journolud]

She demands every minute of my time as soon as I finish work, for me this is like dealing with two lockdowns haha

Sounds a bit like my son’s situation. He is young and not living with his girlfriend, don’t know your age or if you are cohabiting.

There isn’t really a kind way to end a relationship, only unkind ones Be kind, be honest, you’ll feel better for it. Be prepared for tears and bargaining and don’t fall into it, she has probably had relationships end in the past and survived and will survive now.

Before you end it though make sure you smash her back doors in, or something like that

 

[mccity]

Have sex with her mother.

 

[hammocity]

My mate many years ago returned to his marital home to find it completely empty with a letter from his wife saying she had left him with no clue where she was going, she'd taken everything. A couple of days later a few of us including the abandoned husband were in the pub and he said:

"She took the lot, I've been in the loft and she's even taken the Christmas Tree, it doesn't look like she's coming back"

Quick ad a flash one of the other lads said:

"Not before fucking Christmas anyway"