Careful who you give a lift to

[Barcon]

Not long after moving to my village I was heading in to collect the wife from a works do. I got flagged down by some old boy farmer standing in the middle of the street. Stopping I went to put the window down and by the time I had he had opened the passenger door and climbed in telling me he needed to get to some place at the back of beyond...even more back of beyond than my village.
Thinking how to get him out I took him 5 miles to the next village and told him I didnt know how to get to where he wanted and I would stop and ask for directions. He could get out and wait for me to come back to take him the rest of the way once I had collected the wife.
Parked up in next village and asked a passer by if he knew how to get to the place the farmer wanted to get to.
Passer by walks up to car window, bends down and looks in at me and the takes a look at my unwanted passenger....
"Fuck, I would take that **** anywhere"...and walks off.
Not what i wanted to hear and took me another 5 minutes of promising i would come back for him, to get him out the car.

Why didn't you just let this bloke take him?

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I never knew @dronefromsector7G was a farmer

Shagging sheep doesn’t make me a farmer

 

[Penworthamblue]

three pages in and not one person has asked for pics of the wife, not what it used to be on here.

 

[Uncle Wally One Ball]

My first wife and I went to see the disaster at Maine Road (the one against QPR with the back header which led to relegation). Her work colleague told her that her husband was a City fan, so I agreed to give him a lift. We were regulars in those days. He was a senior lecturer at Hull University and good company.

Time went by, my wife and I got divorced, then I read this in the local press a few years later:

“Hull university yesterday suspended a senior lecturer in economic history accused of being a recruiting agent for the East German secret police during the 1980s.

***** ******* be removed from teaching duties for five terms and his salary reduced to cover the cost of a replacement. But he will be expected to continue research and resume teaching in October 2001.”

Any pics of your second wife? The one who didnt shag who communist spies

 

[Bill Walker]

I gave a lift to a bloke once, he seemed okay at first but then he started banging on about how he was on an episode of Eggheads 20 or 30 years ago, he wouldn't shut the fuck about it as if it was something to brag about.... I mean he didn't even win, what a sad bastard.

 

[Johnny Mars Bar]

I saw this story going in the direction of him shagging your wife.

 

[LWashington]

three pages in and not one person has asked for pics of the wife, not what it used to be on here.

Perhaps they fear that she's built like the East German sprinters in the 1980s, huge Koch, and a bit of a Göhr.

 

[metalblue]

I once picked up a hitchhiker. Long story short, when I got hone there was a hook hanging from my bumper.

I think we need the longer version.

 

[metalblue]

I saw this story going in the direction of him shagging your wife.

You think the OP is shagging my wife? What do you know?!!!?

 

[LWashington]

I once picked up a hitchhiker. Long story short, when I got hone there was a hook hanging from my bumper.

I think we need the longer version.

For the longer version just stick 'er' on the end of hook. :)