Careful who you give a lift to

[BimboBob]

In the summer, a few mates, the Wives, plus dogs were camping in Cheshire. We walked to a pub a few miles away, next to a canal, beautiful spot, had some food and the girls then decided to walk back with the dogs leaving us men to have a few more, watch England lose before heading back. I'd nearly run out of smokes so we popped into a village stores to buy some before winding our weary, and slightly pissed, way back. Outside the stores a transit van pulled into the carpark and an old man got out. I asked him how far it was to the campsite. He said around 4 miles and, obviously taking pity on me, offered me a lift back. He then looked astonished as my 3 mates came out of the shop and jumped in with me. Fair play to the bloke, he dropped us off with a cheery wave.

 

[5 Hit Gibbon]

I did a lot of hitchhiking when I was touring around Europe in my early 20's. Once got picked up by a very attractive French lady in her late 40's/ early 50's in a battered 2CV. After a bit of broken French/ English she agreed to drop me off at a village 20 miles out of her way. She then spent the whole trip with her left hand rubbing my thigh, getting closer and closer to my, by now straining, cock as I sat there desperately thinking of non sexual things. At the village, she pulled over, gave me a kiss on the cheek, gripped my knob, said goodbye before driving off. I spent the next 10 minutes holding my rucksack at waist level until I had calmed down enough to go into the local bar. Always wondered about her. Was I supposed to put my hand on her leg? Or did she just do it for a bit of fun?

I think you were supposed to smash her portes arrière in!

 

[calumdown]

My first wife and I went to see the disaster at Maine Road (the one against QPR with the back header which led to relegation). Her work colleague told her that her husband was a City fan, so I agreed to give him a lift. We were regulars in those days. He was a senior lecturer at Hull University and good company.

Time went by, my wife and I got divorced, then I read this in the local press a few years later:

“Hull university yesterday suspended a senior lecturer in economic history accused of being a recruiting agent for the East German secret police during the 1980s.

***** ******* be removed from teaching duties for five terms and his salary reduced to cover the cost of a replacement. But he will be expected to continue research and resume teaching in October 2001.”

what's your line of employment?

have you ever considered that your wife was also an east german spy and they were trying to recruit you,
that's why she married you,
but you were so fucking dense at taking hints they gave up on you and she dumped you?