classic womanisms your missus has come out with.

[east2]

Mother in law once said "dead as a dildo"

 

[blueteaser]

Mine never does anything like that. She's great in every way.


Oh, and she reads Bluemoon, coincidentally.

Superb!

 

[mr t]

Me to ex-girlfriend "I've got my mates car for the week while he's abroad - it's got reclining seats"

Reply "But who wants to go round and round?"

 

[Bigga]

Before I married the silly dear, my fiancée said to me, "my brother wants to know what a kwitchy is" as we looked at a meal menu for the wedding.

"Kwitcy??" I said"Where's that?"

She points it out on the menu...

"QUICHE!!!" I exclaimed "Have you never heard of a QUICHE?!"

Needless to say they went beetroot red...

I'd be more concerned that you looked at a wedding menu with Quiche on it... what did it have for the toast? Sunny Delight???

Don't do 'posh', me. it took her til the week before to talk me out out wearing a flat cap and ditching me ferret.

Poor Neville's never been the same since.

 

[Greiver]

my best mate's girlfriend has had some classics:

at a tgi fridays she ordered the buffalo wings, only to be disappointed that they were chicken. she even complained to the staff.

when england were playing ecuador in the world cup, she steadfastly told us that ecuador is not a country, we kept saying it was, honestly, it really is. she told it deffo wasnt, as it it is the line around the centre of the earth!

Please say your joking ...

 

[Alan Kernaghan's 40yd Lob]

my best mate's girlfriend has had some classics:

at a tgi fridays she ordered the buffalo wings, only to be disappointed that they were chicken. she even complained to the staff.

when england were playing ecuador in the world cup, she steadfastly told us that ecuador is not a country, we kept saying it was, honestly, it really is. she told it deffo wasnt, as it it is the line around the centre of the earth!

Please say your joking ...

no joke man.

 

[BimboBob]

On a flight back from the good ol' USA last year my wife asked why it took 8 hours to get there but only 6.5 hours back.Was it by any chance because we were going downhill on the way back?

The bloke across the aisle burst out laughing.As did i.For ages.He then told his mate who also burst out laughing.

Sometime later,after i had explained about the gulf stream,the captain came over the tannoy and said something like...'for those of you who are asking the question about why it takes less time to fly from the US to Heathrow than it does the other way around...' and proceded to explain it all.

My wife was strangely quiet for the rest of the trip.

 

[yerwot?]

'What was jury service like ,then ?' Boring, young lad being done for arsenal' ,Hooligan ,was he?. 'Nah he set fire to a sweet-shop'.

 

[stockportblue]

Haha.. i just remembered another one the ex said..

I was sat watching the box in the front room when she came in from the kitchen in all dazed and confused and said,

"I've just had a fromage-frais"

I was thinking..so what like?

After a couple of minutes of awkward silence it finally dawned on me what she actually meant to stay was that she'd had a deja-vu.

Still tickles me that one.

ha ha that's got to be the funniest yet!

You then asked her if she fancied a Ménage à trois and she knocked you back saying she was on a diet?

 

[bopbop10]

ha ha that's got to be the funniest yet!

You then asked her if she fancied a Ménage à trois and she knocked you back saying she was on a diet?

Haha! Touché mate..touché.