classic womanisms your missus has come out with.

[levets]

Before I married the silly dear, my fiancée said to me, "my brother wants to know what a kwitchy is" as we looked at a meal menu for the wedding.

"Kwitcy??" I said"Where's that?"

She points it out on the menu...

"QUICHE!!!" I exclaimed "Have you never heard of a QUICHE?!"

Needless to say they went beetroot red...

I'd be more concerned that you looked at a wedding menu with Quiche on it... what did it have for the toast? Sunny Delight???

 

[wrongun73]

talking to an everton fan on holiday this year, chatting away about footy and the mrs. pipes up.. 'so whos your derby then, arsenal?'
didnt know wether to ignore her or show her the furry side!!

 

[Greiver]

talking to an everton fan on holiday this year, chatting away about footy and the mrs. pipes up.. 'so whos your derby then, arsenal?'
didnt know wether to ignore her or show her the furry side!!

You know it could have been worse, she could have said a team not even in the league!

 

[BlueMentalNurse]

Mother in Law
a chameleon never changes its spots.

 

[trotsky]

We were with friends in the pub and my Missus was having a go about how much I spend on football.
"You love City more than you love me" she said.
"I love United more than I love you" I replied.

Oh how we laughed.

I'll get me coat..."taxi..."

 

[SambaBoys]

Re: classic s*** your missus has come out with

This just proves what Bluemoonchick and I have been saying for a long time. You have to be blue from birth, you're born into it, it's in your blood. It cannot be faked or forced, it's just 'in' you (so to speak!).

Totally agree, women who are not into football should not be forced to watch the game because their naivety makes all women look stupid, when actually there are a lot of us who can actually understand a football match.

I blame the men, they get together with these dolly birds and think buying them a city shirt will solve all their problems and then have the cheek to take the piss out of the dolly bird for not understanding the offside rule.

Get a grip fellas, if you want a girl to understand the offside rule - pick girls who go to the match on saturdays rather than the trafford centre :-)

I think i love you after this post!!!!! :o) lol...............
It really pisses me off when my mates want to watch the football at the pub hoping there will be hot men there, then they sit and talk to me while the footy is on (away matches lol) i end up snapping and telling them to fuck off and read Cosmo while the footy is on!!!

 

[Pearcey]

Playing tennis on Holiday last week, and the ball goes over the fence to the bowling green adjacent... The missus goes over and asks 'can we get the tennis ball back please' ... Only problem being it wasn't our tennis ball but the yellow jack that was surrounded by bowls!

We woke up on New Years day, she said 'did you sleep okay?' I replied 'the fireworks woke me up' she pipes up 'oh, what time was that then'. Jesus wept.

The local Tesco garage was robbed recently and I was telling her it was 3 guys with a machete... she says ' A Machete... thats a gun isn't it?'

 

[bopbop10]

The one that springs to mind for me was my ex at uni..

Went for a take-away pizza on the way home as you do.. We both put our orders in and when they were ready the fella behind the counter pipes up..
"Do you want the pizza cut up into 6 or 8 slices?"

Much to my amusement she replied..
"Oooh 6 please..i don't think i could handle 8"

Christ.

 

[Alan Kernaghan's 40yd Lob]

my best mate's girlfriend has had some classics:

at a tgi fridays she ordered the buffalo wings, only to be disappointed that they were chicken. she even complained to the staff.

when england were playing ecuador in the world cup, she steadfastly told us that ecuador is not a country, we kept saying it was, honestly, it really is. she told it deffo wasnt, as it it is the line around the centre of the earth!

 

[Ally.P]

Until recently, I believed a machete was a knife.