I believe that what you are saying is entirely true, however I don't think they're great examples to be using for your argument.
Firstly, the Adebayor "celebration" was an exceptional circumstance and the FA had to make it abundantly clear that they didn't want anything like it to ever happen again, so IMO they rightly made an example of him and punished him for it. I get that you're saying they worked around the rules by changing the name of the offence he was booked for, but I think they did the right thing in terms of it being a preventative measure.
The stamp from Adebayor: from the camera angle from behind Clattenburg's view - even in slow motion you can't really tell it's as bad a stamp as the other angles then show, therefore it's plausible that when he saw it in real time he didn't think anything of it, then having watched it back he realised the sinister intent behind it.
Similar to the Adebayor stamp is Aguero's elbow on Reid last weekend. Why are people trying to justify what he did by saying the ref saw it? Even if the ref did see it (again, heat of the moment might simply have missed it as it was a split second), he might simply have not thought anything of it, then changed his mind when he saw the replays later.
I think the rules are slightly flawed in that had Aguero been booked for that, he couldn't then have had a ban. What Aguero did was 100% wrong and nobody wants to see it in football, therefore it's right that he gets a ban for it. I'd want any footballer to be banned for that.
I agree there are a lot of unexplainable inconsistencies in the refereeing of football at all levels, but I think the only way to get rid of them is to get rid of human referees and make it all computerised. I'm sure we're heading that way which is good news. Aren't FIFA trialling semi-live video assistant referees at the minute?