You can't. Stop trying. Look at the period between you getting your first inkling and symptoms, to the moment when you knew you were ok to get to the shower. Draw a big circle around that whole period.
That is now 'the event'. It's cost you mentally and physically. It's over, but you are not fit in the way you were at the start.
Recovering your strength and mental well being is the task, whilst ensuring the remaining infection and symptoms slowly lessen. You are starting at a lower point than you ever have done. And you are still fighting the disease, if not the infection.
Start with daily goals like a shower. And doing laundry. No exercise kid. Not for ages. Babying yourself mentally is also de rigeur. Cartoons and Disney films. Innocuous stuff, comedy. Some calmish music. Internet is definitely not recommended but you can't beat a bit of support online.
Make a note of what you've still got in your life that you are greatful for. If you do think about the future, things you want to be in a place to work towards - in, say, 6 months or a year, then see yourself as being fit and healthy at the centre. Your lungs and other organs and nerves are like a very old tree. They've just been blighted and chopped right back. They will regrow at a glacial pace. The calmer, more positive and gentle your recovery now, the more even and strong that growth will be from the bottom up. And therefore the stronger the tree will be in the months, and years to come. Ignore Boris or anyone else's timescale. You sound really unwell. And remember, you didn't have access to plasma treatment, COPD, vitamin injection, a spotless hospital, 2 registrars 3 consultants and 8 nurses to monitor and do everything. Or anything else.
Looking after yourself whilst ill is a tricky and draining thing. It really is. I want you to be prepared for how it can make you feel. But it's good love that you are showing yourself. Like a nurse, or your mum, if she was good with you when you were ill, or maybe a girlfriend. Easy does it. Treat yourself with kid gloves. Count the things you do and how gentle you are on yourself.
I hope you begin to feel better. No-one expects you to be running around for ages. And that is very sad. I genuinely feel very bad for you, because I've had to recover on my own from less, and I know how sad the process can be, when you sit there and think, I could do with a break from looking after this sick guy, and you know one isn't coming. Without going out, it's that much worse. Look forward to that one in a month or two. Til then, it's showers, hygeine, washing, food, and cheering yourself up, and pracitising being calm and gentle and attentive, all the way.
