Paul Lake's Left Knee
Well-Known Member
Not with BMR's girth I reckon the shim slipped it in like an otter off a bank goes into the water.
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Dating site experiences and shock horror meetings!
- Thread starter BlueMoonRisin’
- Start date
Not with BMR's girth I reckon the shim slipped it in like an otter off a bank goes into the water.
BimboBob
Well-Known Member
With little or no splash.Not with BMR's girth I reckon the shim slipped it in like an otter off a bank goes into the water.
BlueMoonRisin’
Well-Known Member
Another I vaguely remember from a few years ago.
Met her on pof. Texted, chatted and met up with her as per usual on meeting someone. I saw her a few times. Another blond tasty slice, late 30's, originally from darn sarf, Watford area I think.
She was living near Bury at the time. We went for a drink one night and both got pissed as we drank merrily and talked the night away in a pub in Ramsbottom IIRC.
We went back to her place and ended up in her well kept boudoir. Nicely decorated, posh bedroom furniture, fancy duvet set with crisp white Egyptian cotton sheets on a big comfy king size bed.
I really fancied her and soon got to work on her erogenous zones. We groped each other in a blissful drunken haze before I eventually thrust my lust up her passion passage to her delight.
Tbh, I was not at my best or feeling that perky down below due to too much alcohol, was quite chilly too, so we did it under the duvet with just the landing light on.
I entered from behind and as the thrusting tempo got faster and louder in a kind of sexual crescendo, we both neared climax, but it kept slipping out and the hightened tempo was temporarily lost at the crucial moment. After a few times of this happening, she reached round(no ideas Bimbo Stony n Lakey; ) to expertly guide it in letting out a "ooooh, that feels nice hun".
Now I was pissed remember, but something didn't feel quite right, but I carried on and she was fucking loving every minute of it, even though I wasn't at my best. It felt tighter and a bit drier. I was fuckin' knackered by this stage and almost running on empty, but yep you've probably guessed, I was potting the brown as tentatively and slower than Terry Griffith's ever did and I wasn't playing snooker!
We both got there in climaxing though before cuddling each other to sleep.
In the morning she woke up first to cuddle me into awakening, then a few sweet nothings about how she'd enjoyed the night. After a while she flung back the duvet to notice the shit streaked sheet screeching(suvvern accent) "aw muy fackin' gawd, look at the state of muy fackin' whoite sheet you dirty borstad". "I can't ever sleep wiv you agayn evor"
"Don't blame me love, it was you who slipped it in there, not my fault you didn't douche is it?"
I thought, try doing the Daz whites test on 30° wash with that sheet ya dirty woman.
Never saw her again after that, gutted tbh, but I was well and truly up shit creek to her embarrassment.
Rams-bottom. That's the place; )
Was back on pof a few months later and got chatting to another blond from darn sarf. After 5 mins on the phone I told her I'd dated another girl from there. She then blurted "you dayted muy sista, she told me abate you ya dairty bawstad".
Met her on pof. Texted, chatted and met up with her as per usual on meeting someone. I saw her a few times. Another blond tasty slice, late 30's, originally from darn sarf, Watford area I think.
She was living near Bury at the time. We went for a drink one night and both got pissed as we drank merrily and talked the night away in a pub in Ramsbottom IIRC.
We went back to her place and ended up in her well kept boudoir. Nicely decorated, posh bedroom furniture, fancy duvet set with crisp white Egyptian cotton sheets on a big comfy king size bed.
I really fancied her and soon got to work on her erogenous zones. We groped each other in a blissful drunken haze before I eventually thrust my lust up her passion passage to her delight.
Tbh, I was not at my best or feeling that perky down below due to too much alcohol, was quite chilly too, so we did it under the duvet with just the landing light on.
I entered from behind and as the thrusting tempo got faster and louder in a kind of sexual crescendo, we both neared climax, but it kept slipping out and the hightened tempo was temporarily lost at the crucial moment. After a few times of this happening, she reached round(no ideas Bimbo Stony n Lakey; ) to expertly guide it in letting out a "ooooh, that feels nice hun".
Now I was pissed remember, but something didn't feel quite right, but I carried on and she was fucking loving every minute of it, even though I wasn't at my best. It felt tighter and a bit drier. I was fuckin' knackered by this stage and almost running on empty, but yep you've probably guessed, I was potting the brown as tentatively and slower than Terry Griffith's ever did and I wasn't playing snooker!
We both got there in climaxing though before cuddling each other to sleep.
In the morning she woke up first to cuddle me into awakening, then a few sweet nothings about how she'd enjoyed the night. After a while she flung back the duvet to notice the shit streaked sheet screeching(suvvern accent) "aw muy fackin' gawd, look at the state of muy fackin' whoite sheet you dirty borstad". "I can't ever sleep wiv you agayn evor"
"Don't blame me love, it was you who slipped it in there, not my fault you didn't douche is it?"
I thought, try doing the Daz whites test on 30° wash with that sheet ya dirty woman.
Never saw her again after that, gutted tbh, but I was well and truly up shit creek to her embarrassment.
Rams-bottom. That's the place; )
Was back on pof a few months later and got chatting to another blond from darn sarf. After 5 mins on the phone I told her I'd dated another girl from there. She then blurted "you dayted muy sista, she told me abate you ya dairty bawstad".
Last edited:
BackofJeanette
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 20 Apr 2011
- Messages
- 1,582
My wife's friend is a regular on certain sites, so although I've never dated via twatnet here's one of her stories.
She regularly meets the guys for a first date at the same pub near to where she lives. Sometimes this can be 2-3 different blokes in a week. I told her that the bar staff probably think she's on the game, well you would wouldn't you.
Anyhow she's early 50's good looking and nice trim body, bit posh, oh and fucking minted.
So the kind of bloke she goes for has to have a Large bank balance and an even larger clock.
( That's most of you lot out the question before we start!).
She meets this guy who has a nice motor , AM I think, and lives in one of the more prestigious address in Manchester centre.
They go out for a few dates then he invites her back to his place. She's loving this now as it's her territory.
He pours her a drink then after a while asks her " what size shoe she wears?".
She tells him ' a 6' he smiles and says he won't be long. He comes back into the room with a shoe box and in it is a pair of stilettos size 6.
" I always said whoever these shoes fit would be the one for me!".
She tries them on and they fit and he fucking bangs her.
At this point in the story, ( my wife is telling me this), I said " is his fucking name Prince Charming?".
I also mentioned the fact that he 'could have a wardrobe full of different size shoes'....
Think she seen him a few more times before she worked out he wasn't right!
Cinderella man I called him!
She regularly meets the guys for a first date at the same pub near to where she lives. Sometimes this can be 2-3 different blokes in a week. I told her that the bar staff probably think she's on the game, well you would wouldn't you.
Anyhow she's early 50's good looking and nice trim body, bit posh, oh and fucking minted.
So the kind of bloke she goes for has to have a Large bank balance and an even larger clock.
( That's most of you lot out the question before we start!).
She meets this guy who has a nice motor , AM I think, and lives in one of the more prestigious address in Manchester centre.
They go out for a few dates then he invites her back to his place. She's loving this now as it's her territory.
He pours her a drink then after a while asks her " what size shoe she wears?".
She tells him ' a 6' he smiles and says he won't be long. He comes back into the room with a shoe box and in it is a pair of stilettos size 6.
" I always said whoever these shoes fit would be the one for me!".
She tries them on and they fit and he fucking bangs her.
At this point in the story, ( my wife is telling me this), I said " is his fucking name Prince Charming?".
I also mentioned the fact that he 'could have a wardrobe full of different size shoes'....
Think she seen him a few more times before she worked out he wasn't right!
Cinderella man I called him!
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
My wife's friend is a regular on certain sites, so although I've never dated via twatnet here's one of her stories.
She regularly meets the guys for a first date at the same pub near to where she lives. Sometimes this can be 2-3 different blokes in a week. I told her that the bar staff probably think she's on the game, well you would wouldn't you.
Anyhow she's early 50's good looking and nice trim body, bit posh, oh and fucking minted.
So the kind of bloke she goes for has to have a Large bank balance and an even larger clock.
( That's most of you lot out the question before we start!).
She meets this guy who has a nice motor , AM I think, and lives in one of the more prestigious address in Manchester centre.
They go out for a few dates then he invites her back to his place. She's loving this now as it's her territory.
He pours her a drink then after a while asks her " what size shoe she wears?".
She tells him ' a 6' he smiles and says he won't be long. He comes back into the room with a shoe box and in it is a pair of stilettos size 6.
" I always said whoever these shoes fit would be the one for me!".
She tries them on and they fit and he fucking bangs her.
At this point in the story, ( my wife is telling me this), I said " is his fucking name Prince Charming?".
I also mentioned the fact that he 'could have a wardrobe full of different size shoes'....
Think she seen him a few more times before she worked out he wasn't right!
Cinderella man I called him!
Dont suppose she had a large forehead did she
BackofJeanette
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 20 Apr 2011
- Messages
- 1,582
Dont suppose she had a large forehead did she
Not that I've noticed!
( Have I missed something?).
IanBishopsHaircut
Well-Known Member
My wife's friend is a regular on certain sites, so although I've never dated via twatnet here's one of her stories.
She regularly meets the guys for a first date at the same pub near to where she lives. Sometimes this can be 2-3 different blokes in a week. I told her that the bar staff probably think she's on the game, well you would wouldn't you.
Anyhow she's early 50's good looking and nice trim body, bit posh, oh and fucking minted.
So the kind of bloke she goes for has to have a Large bank balance and an even larger clock.
( That's most of you lot out the question before we start!).
She meets this guy who has a nice motor , AM I think, and lives in one of the more prestigious address in Manchester centre.
They go out for a few dates then he invites her back to his place. She's loving this now as it's her territory.
He pours her a drink then after a while asks her " what size shoe she wears?".
She tells him ' a 6' he smiles and says he won't be long. He comes back into the room with a shoe box and in it is a pair of stilettos size 6.
" I always said whoever these shoes fit would be the one for me!".
She tries them on and they fit and he fucking bangs her.
At this point in the story, ( my wife is telling me this), I said " is his fucking name Prince Charming?".
I also mentioned the fact that he 'could have a wardrobe full of different size shoes'....
Think she seen him a few more times before she worked out he wasn't right!
Cinderella man I called him!
Have you not thought that maybe he has size 6 feet?
He could be an Izzard
W
W
worsleyweb
Guest
Use a lot of lube. No pain. Just a deep sense of fullness.
A fellow cuckold.
sir baconface
Well-Known Member
Such an entertaining thread I'm bumping it.
Brilliant read, bravo.Another I vaguely remember from a few years ago.
Met her on pof. Texted, chatted and met up with her as per usual on meeting someone. I saw her a few times. Another blond tasty slice, late 30's, originally from darn sarf, Watford area I think.
She was living near Bury at the time. We went for a drink one night and both got pissed as we drank merrily and talked the night away in a pub in Ramsbottom IIRC.
We went back to her place and ended up in her well kept boudoir. Nicely decorated, posh bedroom furniture, fancy duvet set with crisp white Egyptian cotton sheets on a big comfy king size bed.
I really fancied her and soon got to work on her erogenous zones. We groped each other in a blissful drunken haze before I eventually thrust my lust up her passion passage to her delight.
Tbh, I was not at my best or feeling that perky down below due to too much alcohol, was quite chilly too, so we did it under the duvet with just the landing light on.
I entered from behind and as the thrusting tempo got faster and louder in a kind of sexual crescendo, we both neared climax, but it kept slipping out and the hightened tempo was temporarily lost at the crucial moment. After a few times of this happening, she reached round(no ideas Bimbo Stony n Lakey; ) to expertly guide it in letting out a "ooooh, that feels nice hun".
Now I was pissed remember, but something didn't feel quite right, but I carried on and she was fucking loving every minute of it, even though I wasn't at my best. It felt tighter and a bit drier. I was fuckin' knackered by this stage and almost running on empty, but yep you've probably guessed, I was potting the brown as tentatively and slower than Terry Griffith's ever did and I wasn't playing snooker!
We both got there in climaxing though before cuddling each other to sleep.
In the morning she woke up first to cuddle me into awakening, then a few sweet nothings about how she'd enjoyed the night. After a while she flung back the duvet to notice the shit streaked sheet screeching(suvvern accent) "aw muy fackin' gawd, look at the state of muy fackin' whoite sheet you dirty borstad". "I can't ever sleep wiv you agayn evor"
"Don't blame me love, it was you who slipped it in there, not my fault you didn't douche is it?"
I thought, try doing the Daz whites test on 30° wash with that sheet ya dirty woman.
Never saw her again after that, gutted tbh, but I was well and truly up shit creek to her embarrassment.
Rams-bottom. That's the place; )
Was back on pof a few months later and got chatting to another blond from darn sarf. After 5 mins on the phone I told her I'd dated another girl from there. She then blurted "you dayted muy sista, she told me abate you ya dairty bawstad".