I had a good one, I was dating a girl years ago, Scottish but lived in Harrogate, she'd come down for weekends quite regularly. She was nuts a bit unhinged and great in bed so naturally as most males would be I was rather into her, to the point where after 3 months I was going to ask her for convenience if she'd like to move into mine. One evening we bumped into my Friend and his wife, got drunk went back to there and she spotted my friends wedding photo and told his wife her wedding dress was similar to hers. Turned out she was married and I was the weekend fling. Credit to her she must've had a huge book of excuses for her husband when she was disappearing all the time.
The weirdest tinder date was a girl with black teeth who slept with her pet lamb who she called Lamby he had a broken leg but she had put a ruler on his leg and tied it up with tuck tape and she warned me when we met sometimes she just gets on to the nearest table and starts singing. She turned up in a huge white transit van which I found odd, only met her once.
Always go with your gut instinct mate, even top mental health professionals say to trust it as it's literally an over-ride, a fail-safe to protect us from when our brain and "nether regions" are swamped with various chemicals like Oxytocin, it's a self preservation thing, the transit van was a dead give away ;-).
Just for PaulChapo, I'll relate the story of "Shellsuit Girl" I mentioned earlier, well, can't remember the website, but came across this gorgeous looking Mediterranean girl, film star good looks, deep brown eyes, dark hair, slim but curvy, mid 30's, very much like Morena Baccarin actually, 6-7 photo's so wasn't like she was a "one photo wonder", only lived a few miles away, and SHE contacted me.
We got chatting and she seemed ok, even spoke on the phone although she admitted beforehand she was pissed and knackered, seemed a bit odd a couple of times but I thought fuck it she's pissed and knackered and that's probably why, so we arranged to meet up for a coffee a day or so later.
On to the day, messaged her to say I was there, she replied she was on her way, by this time, I'd kind of worked out the direction she'd be coming from so thought I'll park a little bit further away, just in case so I could make a quick getaway, so I'm sat there in the car waiting, trying to get a good look, then all of a sudden, some skinny old Hag in her late 60's comes hobbling round the corner and I'm thinking " piss off out of they way you old bag, I can't see her coming round the corner", so I'm there, adjusting my position in the seat trying to get a better view, still no sign.
Eventually I decide to message her, thinking it's been a wind up, and next thing, there's a tap on my window, it's this skinny old Hag, obviously a recovering pisscan and drug addict, smiling with one tooth (no doubt to open up her tinnies) and haggard to fuck, so I'm thinking 'WTF are you mithering for' ? "Hiya, it's me" she proudly proclaims, me, I'm completely lost for words, WTF do I do, I'm too much of a gentleman to just whizz off, so a million and one things are going through my mind, shit shit shit ! If anyone asks just say your her carer, social worker, a manager of a Freak show, recruiting, fuck fuck fuck !
Anyway, I eventually went for a coffee, felt pretty cruel to just drive off, drank it in about 5 minutes, made my excuses and left, on the way home I was racking my brain, what have I missed, how could I have been taken in so easily, WTF, so went back onto the site trying to find clues, and there it was, the Pink and Turquoise shellsuit should have given it away, they were popular in the late 80's early 90's, so her pictures were AT LEAST 30 years old !
Oddly, she messaged me later that day asking if she could see me again, so I just said she wasn't what I was looking for, then she starts harassing me saying I'd not even taken her out on a proper date yet to find that out , WTAF !
I'm much more careful these days, but that's one of the more humorous ones, or maybe you just had to be there and witness it unfold.
