Depression

[BrianW]

The thing there is no simple solution because MH is very complex. I actually doubt doctors really understand it, at least not in the way they understand (say) a broken leg. A drug that works for me might be bloody useless to you, vice-versa. CBT may or may not work, same with counselling.

And the really scary thing is that depression never really goes away. It's always lurking in the background waiting to come back. One of my mates had his first attack in his 20s, and he still gets them in his 60s, though he has ways of handling it. My tale, when I think of it, is quite similar. I had a bad attack when I was about 23 - thanks to the stupid woman I was with at the time, who would have driven the most stable of men batty. Then I had a long respite until my 50s, when it first crept up on me (I was in denial) and then hit me like a ton of bricks and all but destroyed me as a functioning human.

So you have to be on constant alert, like a soldier on stag in a war. And if you get the slightest sniff of it, act! I have coping strategies that really help me. I find that tomorrow is almost always brighter. Sounds simple, I know, but sometimes you just have to write off a day or two. But it's taken me years to develop those strategies. My advice to anyone is that if you feel shit for more than a week, get medical advice. And persist. Do not let the buggers fob you off. See a different GP to normal if it helps. Ask to be referred. Whatever it takes.

 

[Bigga]

Great post. Could you open up on how you personally go about doing this or a few things your therapist gave you tips on? You don't have to disclose if you don't want to.

@Bigga keep your head up, try and get yourself into a routine. I know when I stay up late and live off little sleep, I really start to struggle and it's easy to fall into a bad spiral. Little steps to begin with that will become habits over time. Maybe start with one 5km walk a week, and build that up weekly into other exercise. Explore things you enjoy, rather than planning to do things 100mph and by the book. If you enjoy writing, pick up the pen and write a bit, and stop when you're not enjoying it. Same if you do a workout, you don't need to start by doing a massive HIIT workout or set amount of weights. Just little and often and flood your body with positive endorphins. Keep your head up mate, there's plenty of people in your life who you will mean so much to; and you bring some good energy and humour to this forum from what I've seen.

I've had your message open for an hour and a half. I've read it over and over.

I've done all these things before. They become part of an addiction and then it tails off and I'm back. I have no motivation. I'm scared of walking as the last time I did that I walked from dusk til dawn around my district, crying as I listened to music. My knees were shot come dawn.

When I do train I do it to the point of exhaustion. Sometimes that's great and then it moves into severe weight loss.
There's no middle for anything; it's one extreme to the other and it's draining. Been like that for most of my life, living in extreme situations. All that just to feel... something!

I've never lied on BM, it's been the one place I could be myself and I'm running on empty for the first time. I still get sparks of enjoyment, here and there but everything feels like noise, right now. I want to be somewhere I don't pretend and so far this place has been it.

Sounds like despair, doesn't it? I, honestly, can't tell.

If you're in 'despair' you don't 'plan'. Yet it feels less dark to do so after years of telling myself not to.

Maybe it's cathartic just to let out thoughts? I dunno, I'm rambling I think.

 

[dozzie26]

I've had your message open for an hour and a half. I've read it over and over.

I've done all these things before. They become part of an addiction and then it tails off and I'm back. I have no motivation. I'm scared of walking as the last time I did that I walked from dusk til dawn around my district, crying as I listened to music. My knees were shot come dawn.

When I do train I do it to the point of exhaustion. Sometimes that's great and then it moves into severe weight loss.
There's no middle for anything; it's one extreme to the other and it's draining. Been like that for most of my life, living in extreme situations. All that just to feel... something!

I've never lied on BM, it's been the one place I could be myself and I'm running on empty for the first time. I still get sparks of enjoyment, here and there but everything feels like noise, right now. I want to be somewhere I don't pretend and so far this place has been it.

Sounds like despair, doesn't it? I, honestly, can't tell.

If you're in 'despair' you don't 'plan'. Yet it feels less dark to do so after years of telling myself not to.

Maybe it's cathartic just to let out thoughts? I dunno, I'm rambling I think.

No, it's good to get stuff off your chest. Try and do the things that make you feel good, but stop before it becomes an obsession, as hard as that is. Little and often rather than a marathon or obsession, is the best way to look at it.

This Covid isn't going to be forever and you'll have some really good holidays when it's over. We will appreciate the little things that we have maybe taken for granted in the past.

 

[Bigga]

We'll get there.

 

[bluethrunthru]

Experiencing this now with my daughter. She graduated last year and by now should have been working in her dream job in showbiz. Instead she has ended up locked down working at a local shop zooming her friends and - we found out - being bullied at work by her boss. There is shockingly little you can actually to combat that as workers rights have been all but destroyed - but that can wait and I can always buy a pickaxe handle to sort it.

Meanwhile my vibrant darling daughter has been plunged into depression alarmingly quickly - she can't sleep - isn't eating and shows little interest in anything. Me and the Mrs are getting help for her starting with the local GP practise but I can see my wife is adversely impacted by it all and although I am a glass half full kind of guy it worries me too. Poor mental health isn't contagious but it impacts others too.

 

[Bigga]

Had a chat with Samaritans just now.

What I realise is that talking on the phone is not for me.

I can't emote 48 years of mental torture, but I could hear myself on the calm about the future. The call helped stop the rollercoaster I've had in the last few hours.

I hope others find them more useful than I, though.

 

[bluethrunthru]

Sir Stevo Timothy aka Farmer Michael is a pretty polarising comedian however he has had his struggles both physical and mental. He has put this together on zero budget - its fantastic and should remind us all at this time Blues we need to look out for each other, family, friends neighbours and even strangers who might be in a dark place struggling to cope.

 

[Blue Maverick]

Sir Stevo Timothy aka Farmer Michael is a pretty polarising comedian however he has had his struggles both physical and mental. He has put this together on zero budget - its fantastic and should remind us all at this time Blues we need to look out for each other, family, friends neighbours and even strangers who might be in a dark place struggling to cope.

Video not available but that guy has just gone through a big split up with his missus so I guess it will be a heartfelt watch. I’ve noticed my mum and dad been down now with this second lockdown. I go as much as possible as I count them in my bubble and I don’t give a shit if not, my dad in particular is struggling he’s missed his bowling season so not socialised at all

 

[richardtheref]

I am beginning to seriously worry about my state of mind. I was furloughed for 1st lockdown but not for this one. I find myself getting angry at work due to the amount of ;passengers our buses are taking needlessly. I have been on the same route/time for 7 days now & I find I am picking the same people up at the same time each day & none of them appear to be on critical journeys. Yes there are school kids & people going to work but the vast majority are not. I have started coming home on a night feeling really down and usually just go straight to bed.
My Mrs has suffered with it for years and I feel that if I burden her with this it may affect her negatively.

 

[bluethrunthru]

Video not available but that guy has just gone through a big split up with his missus so I guess it will be a heartfelt watch. I’ve noticed my mum and dad been down now with this second lockdown. I go as much as possible as I count them in my bubble and I don’t give a shit if not, my dad in particular is struggling he’s missed his bowling season so not socialised at all

really - thats odd because it comes up on your reply to me. Anyway I used the FB version because its slightly longer but here's the tweet -