Embarrassing moments in life

[Nebuchadnezzar]

I took my nephew to Chester Zoo many years ago and the trip was nearly at its end. We always took the route that went through the reptile house last. Hes 17 now and still doesn't have much of a filter but he must have only been 5 or 6 back then. A family of dwarves were infront of us and internally I was going "don't say anything.....don't say anything......"

Ooh look Uncle N. Aren't they small?
Yes mate. Those birds are small aren't they?
Not the birds. The people!

And we were stuck behind them the whole way around.

 

[flook]

I took my nephew to Chester Zoo many years ago and the trip was nearly at its end. We always took the route that went through the reptile house last. Hes 17 now and still doesn't have much of a filter but he must have only been 5 or 6 back then. A family of dwarves were infront of us and internally I was going "don't say anything.....don't say anything......"

Ooh look Uncle N. Aren't they small?
Yes mate. Those birds are small aren't they?
Not the birds. The people!

And we were stuck behind them the whole way around.

he was lucky Thorin didn't smite him with his mighty axe

 

[LWashington]

My mate (about 45) caught his dad (75) having a wank and watching porn when he went down for a drink when staying over one night.

One of my friends at Uni told me his, far worse than anything I have had happen to me. He got back home for the Summer and forgot that unlike his room at Uni, his bedroom door didn't automatically lock when you close it.
He laid on his bed, put his headphones on, shorts down , shirt up , closed his eyes and knocked one out over some of the girls at uni who he'd failed to chat up during the term. When finished he almost drifted off for a few minutes. Then he opened his eyes and wiped the spunk of his stomach and chest, he then looked at the clock radio next to his bed to check the time. Next to it was a steaming hot cup of tea.
He explained three other people were in the house , his mum, and two sisters any of whom could have brought it. He kept his head down for most of the Summer because he said that what's worse than been caught wanking, is not knowing who caught you and which part of it did they see.

 

[Blue Mist]

One of my friends at Uni told me his, far worse than anything I have had happen to me. He got back home for the Summer and forgot that unlike his room at Uni, his bedroom door didn't automatically lock when you close it.
He laid on his bed, put his headphones on, shorts down , shirt up , closed his eyes and knocked one out over some of the girls at uni who he'd failed to chat up during the term. When finished he almost drifted off for a few minutes. Then he opened his eyes and wiped the spunk of his stomach and chest, he then looked at the clock radio next to his bed to check the time. Next to it was a steaming hot cup of tea.
He explained three other people were in the house , his mum, and two sisters any of whom could have brought it. He kept his head down for most of the Summer because he said that what's worse than been caught wanking, is not knowing who caught you and which part of it did they see.

Who cares ! I wish someone would bring me an after wank brew. :-)

Edit In Burnley one of them would have helped him finish

 

[Saddleworth2]

When I was in my 20s , as part of the professional exams I was doing, I got a place at a University across the city from where I was living. I didn’t then have a car and didn’t fancy sitting for hours On a bus every day so I asked my mum if I could borrow the moped that she hadn’t used in years.

it was winter so I needed a suitable ’outfit’ to brave the Scottish weather and ideally, had an old brown duffle coat which was just the job. Armed with that and a very bright orange helmet (also my mums), I felt well equipped if a little nerdish looking.

The first day went smoothly, jinking in and out of the Edinburgh traffic, I completed the cross city trip using ratruns except for an unavoidable segment of the journey which took me through the centre and along the world famous Princes Street.

Next day, same route, middle of Princes Street the throttle on the moped stuck at full on. Obviously rust had taken its toll so the moped only had full steam ahead (28mph) and to stop I had to clamp both my feet to the ground and the brakes full on and even then the bloody wheels were spinning and rearing up like the very best moto cross.

unfortunately, Princes Street has three sets of Traffic Lights.

so if you were by chance on a bus, or shopping on Princes Street in the late 70s and saw a thin guy on a moped dressed in stapress, a huge brown duffle coat, a dayglo orange circular helmet that looked like half a football, doing wheelies on a clapped out moped at the traffic lights like you would at the start of a drag race....
it was me.

I got the bus after that.

 

[Johnny Mars Bar]

Not me, but me and the now wife were both on dating sites before we met. Anyway a few months of going out we went to her mums wedding. Her mum asked her to download the wedding pics for her and they Downloaded onto her iCloud account. Once downloaded they were scrolling through the pics after and went one too far and there as a dick pic that someone sent the mrs months before we met. 100% wasn’t mine, it was about 2ft long

I told her to delete that FFS.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

One of my friends at Uni told me his, far worse than anything I have had happen to me. He got back home for the Summer and forgot that unlike his room at Uni, his bedroom door didn't automatically lock when you close it.
He laid on his bed, put his headphones on, shorts down , shirt up , closed his eyes and knocked one out over some of the girls at uni who he'd failed to chat up during the term. When finished he almost drifted off for a few minutes. Then he opened his eyes and wiped the spunk of his stomach and chest, he then looked at the clock radio next to his bed to check the time. Next to it was a steaming hot cup of tea.
He explained three other people were in the house , his mum, and two sisters any of whom could have brought it. He kept his head down for most of the Summer because he said that what's worse than been caught wanking, is not knowing who caught you and which part of it did they see.

Hmm I’ve heard this story a few times before. Urban myth?

 

[LWashington]

Hmm I’ve heard this story a few times before. Urban myth?

I don't know as he told it when we were having a chat in pub about stuff similar to this thread in the late 1980's and that was before internet. It's possible I guess. Then again with all the wanking that's going on in teenagers bedroom's I reckon similar incidents must have happened quite a lot.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I don't know as he told it when we were having a chat in pub about stuff similar to this thread in the late 1980's and that was before internet. It's possible I guess. Then again with all the wanking that's going on in teenagers bedroom's I reckon similar incidents must have happened quite a lot.

It’s possible of course but just found this :

Tea Left By Mom

Young man busy pleasuring himself discovers his mother has left a cup of tea at his bedside.

www.snopes.com

 

[Didsbury Dave]

One of my friends at Uni told me his, far worse than anything I have had happen to me. He got back home for the Summer and forgot that unlike his room at Uni, his bedroom door didn't automatically lock when you close it.
He laid on his bed, put his headphones on, shorts down , shirt up , closed his eyes and knocked one out over some of the girls at uni who he'd failed to chat up during the term. When finished he almost drifted off for a few minutes. Then he opened his eyes and wiped the spunk of his stomach and chest, he then looked at the clock radio next to his bed to check the time. Next to it was a steaming hot cup of tea.
He explained three other people were in the house , his mum, and two sisters any of whom could have brought it. He kept his head down for most of the Summer because he said that what's worse than been caught wanking, is not knowing who caught you and which part of it did they see.

That ones an urban myth I'm afraid mate. One of the oldest of them all.