Embarrassing moments in life

Barcon said:
Something similar when we were kids. We had a tarzan swing near Brierly ave school in a tree with one of those old, rusty, wrought iron spiked fences under the tree. Long story short, one lad fell off the rope and got impaled on the fence through his taint. I just got a shiver down my spine typing this.
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A lad from primary school fell out of a tree onto Park railings
Fortunately it was his arm that was impaled

One day, I was climbing over those rusty, spiked Park railings and as I tried to jump down my jeans leg got caught in one and because I was holding onto one of the spikes as I jumped, my palm dragged across it and I had the deepest wound under my index finger I've ever seen. You could see the bone in my hand
I still have the scar 45 years on
 
Tommy_Catons_Perm said:
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Dan's Underpant
Macc Lads

We all went down New Delih
We had too much curry and aching bellies
Peter got gut rot and puked on the floor
Stez Styx banging on shithouse door
I says, come on lads and finish your Bombay duck
We're going to find some girls who'll give us a decent Alkaselzer
Now Dan said he knew of this party, so we drove over there
Belching and farting
Stez nicked some cans of beer
And Dan shat himself, he had diarheoa
He said "Oh lads, it's no fun to dance."
And he goes upstairs to change his underpants
Now he opens the window, wipes his ass
And throws the offending bags on the grass
He shouts "everybody come and look at this
They're streaked with shit and they're stained with piss
But don't look at me, they're not f**king mine."
But his loving mum had sewn his f**king name inside
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It's the Beater not Peter that got gut rot
 
Is there anything worse than at 13 years old telling friends outside of school you have a really hot girlfriend called Imogen. Then they just happen to randomly meet her and find out who she is and start saying oh yeah we know your boyfriend. Then you get confronted by her at school on Monday in front of all your mates!! Nauseating
 
Not me, but me and the now wife were both on dating sites before we met. Anyway a few months of going out we went to her mums wedding. Her mum asked her to download the wedding pics for her and they Downloaded onto her iCloud account. Once downloaded they were scrolling through the pics after and went one too far and there as a dick pic that someone sent the mrs months before we met. 100% wasn’t mine, it was about 2ft long
 
Most of my embarrassing stories are to do with shit. I remember being in the very early stages of a short but intense relationship with a girl and it was the sort of time where you don't even want to do a shit at their house. We had been on a good bender for a day and on the Sunday morning I was in some abdominal discomfort. I said I didn't want to go to her ensuite bog so she suggested that I go out into the hall and use the shared toilet, which unofficially belonged to her flat mate. I released something that wouldn't even register on the Bristol Stool Chart and had to use the brush to clean up. I came around a few days later and the chalkboard in the kitchen had a shopping list, on which was written "New Toilet Brush", in capitals and underlined.
 
mcfc_ms said:
Not me, but me and the now wife were both on dating sites before we met. Anyway a few months of going out we went to her mums wedding. Her mum asked her to download the wedding pics for her and they Downloaded onto her iCloud account. Once downloaded they were scrolling through the pics after and went one too far and there as a dick pic that someone sent the mrs months before we met. 100% wasn’t mine, it was about 2ft long
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A colleague (middle aged, about 5 foot and a pit belly) was using also using her icloud when she was trying to show me some pics.As she scrolled through there were some boob pics (I assume she had sent her husband), I was polite and didn't react though, not sure if she realised.
 
oman0115 said:
Is there anything worse than at 13 years old telling friends outside of school you have a really hot girlfriend called Imogen. Then they just happen to randomly meet her and find out who she is and start saying oh yeah we know your boyfriend. Then you get confronted by her at school on Monday in front of all your mates!! Nauseating
Click to expand...

Luckily kids aren’t ruthless cunts so I imagine your mates let it slide
 
This one's hard to beat..

When I was 16 I dropped my first purple ohm straight after school. I went round to my mates as I was too fucked to go home, finally mustered up the courage and my mum told me that my grandad had died. They had been looking for me, and this was the days before phones.. I just burst out laughing grabbed a box of cornflakes and started eating them out if the box.

She obviously knew I was on something but I don't think it's been mentioned since.
 
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