Ever Thought About Suicide?

[peoffrey]

My brother had stuck his neck on the railway line near our house at about 8am, and the train had run over it.

They estimate there's a suicide a week on the London Underground. People just throw themselves on the track as the train speeds in. Nothing the Driver can do to stop. I hate the act of suicide but it's especially bad when someone innocent is involved.

 

[Bigga]

I dont have a lot of people to talk to, maybe thats why i came on here and started to talk to people i dont know, i find it easier i suppose. As many of you know, my ex and myself split up about 4 weeks ago now, just cos i wouldn't tell her about some things that might hurt her, but when she finds out it hurts alot more. There is one person on this forum that knows the full story and i have PM'd him this morning.

Anyway the past couple of weeks have been up and down, the last week really up, or so i thought, she tells me she misses me, she still loves me, and when i saw her, her sister and her neice the other day and her neice ran upto me she started to cry, my ex that is.

Anyone who is a freind of mine on FB will understand just how far i go to release my inner frustrations, somewhere i can go and let it all out. But as usual, in good old FB style someone has run back and told her everything i've been writing. She thinks im making her out to be the arsehole, when in all honesty for the majority of the relationship, that title has been on my mantle.

Putting my life over FB is "pathetic", "Its a networking site, not a therapist" And after telling her about this thread, and how i suppose its my way of asking for help even though i wont admit it, she calls me "very very selfish".

She says i dont know what is important to her, but i do, i just need help because i am pretending to be someone im not and have done since the death of my Brother.

Sorry for being so deep this morning guys, but i can honestly say that this is the hardest day i have woken up to.

Ric, I think your ex is just angry. Angry that she believes that you were supposed to be able to come to her with anything. Angry that she believes that you two were closer than that. Angry that all she wanted to do was help you in your time of need/ crisis.

It's an understandable reaction when she thinks it was easier for you to not go to her, but talk to 'faceless' people.

But, that's just the thing. In our online 'persona', we are faceless too. We are able to converse and ease whatever it is from our minds because we don't physically discuss it. We are able to contain the anguish much more than if we were face to face to anyone.

I believe online, there is a 'wall' that can stop you breaking down as the other person is 'faceless'. They are just words. Of course they are not, but this 'virtual world' has its many pluses as well as minuses and this is just one of them.

The very same could be the opposite, for some, so it all depends on the type of character the individual has.

I hope your ex does read this and see that people release emotion in many different ways and none of them would be designed to shut out people like her. It is never ever personal, but a coping mechanism that is not of direct control to the one in pain.

 

[gaudinho's stolen car]

My brother had stuck his neck on the railway line near our house at about 8am, and the train had run over it.

They estimate there's a suicide a week on the London Underground. People just throw themselves on the track as the train speeds in. Nothing the Driver can do to stop. I hate the act of suicide but it's especially bad when someone innocent is involved.

Yeah, now you put it like that he's a right inconsiderate fucker. Thanks for the eye opener.

 

[peoffrey]

Yeah, now you put it like that he's a right inconsiderate fucker. Thanks for the eye opener.

That's not what I meant. Apologies if it came across badly - but I know a Train Driver who has had to deal with it. He nearly quit the job he loved as it hurt him that much. I'm sure he didn't set out that morning to kill someone.

 

[Lucky Toma]

My brother had stuck his neck on the railway line near our house at about 8am, and the train had run over it.

They estimate there's a suicide a week on the London Underground. People just throw themselves on the track as the train speeds in. Nothing the Driver can do to stop. I hate the act of suicide but it's especially bad when someone innocent is involved.

They estimate that a complete and utter tool posts on BlueMoon once a week. They come onto threads that dont concern them and make unnecessary and cruel comments. Nothing the original poster can do but to read it.
I hate the act of judgemental wummery but its especially bad when someone who has been brave and dignified enough to share a private grief is involved.

 

[peoffrey]

They estimate that a complete and utter tool posts on BlueMoon once a week. They come onto threads that dont concern them and make unnecessary and cruel comments. Nothing the original poster can do but to read it.
I hate the act of judgemental wummery but its especially bad when someone who has been brave and dignified enough to share a private grief is involved.

I myself talked about a Funeral I went to where someone had committed suicide. It's not something I mention very often for obvious reasons. 2 people in my life have taken that way out. How on earth does this thread not concern me?

A friend is a Train Driver who was unable to stop in time. The death of a stranger to him will be in his life forever and I think that's awful.

You've completely misread what I meant and your response is kneejerk.

 

[Lucky Toma]

I take back the 'doesnt concern you' part fully.

As for the rest, nope, no kneejerking from me. Your post was incredibly insensitive. Even though, ironically, it didnt concern me, I still jolted when I read it.

 

[BlueInBury]

My brother had stuck his neck on the railway line near our house at about 8am, and the train had run over it.

They estimate there's a suicide a week on the London Underground. People just throw themselves on the track as the train speeds in. Nothing the Driver can do to stop. I hate the act of suicide but it's especially bad when someone innocent is involved.

Bit insensitive mate! Anybody who's family, friends etc have decided to do something like this have probably already looked at it from every perspective possible so they don't need reminding!

 

[peoffrey]

I take back the 'doesnt concern you' part fully.

As for the rest, nope, no kneejerking from me. Your post was incredibly insensitive. Even though, ironically, it didnt concern me, I still jolted when I read it.

I once again apologise for the way it came out. I'm useless in situations involving subjects like this and I think I only got involved because it was something I knew about and had experienced. I logged off as soon as I read some responses so I could have a think about what I'd said. It should be clear that I would never purposely mean to upset anyone.

Above anything, some comfort should be brought to those who have had suicidal feelings because they now know they're not alone.

 

[pauldominic]

They estimate there's a suicide a week on the London Underground. People just throw themselves on the track as the train speeds in. Nothing the Driver can do to stop. I hate the act of suicide but it's especially bad when someone innocent is involved.

Yeah, now you put it like that he's a right inconsiderate fucker. Thanks for the eye opener.

Absolutely no way on earth I'd be a train driver.

Respect to all of them.

-- Mon May 02, 2011 6:25 pm --

I take back the 'doesnt concern you' part fully.

As for the rest, nope, no kneejerking from me. Your post was incredibly insensitive. Even though, ironically, it didnt concern me, I still jolted when I read it.

I once again apologise for the way it came out. I'm useless in situations involving subjects like this and I think I only got involved because it was something I knew about and had experienced. I logged off as soon as I read some responses so I could have a think about what I'd said. It should be clear that I would never purposely mean to upset anyone.

Above anything, some comfort should be brought to those who have had suicidal feelings because they now know they're not alone.

We all have those foot in mouth moments.

Its ok mate.<br /><br />-- Mon May 02, 2011 6:28 pm --<br /><br />

its not often i open up on forums and tbh its taken 29 pages for me to decide to post this. Keep strong & keep motivated, even if that motivation is to just get out of bed in the morning

my missus started with post natal depression some 9 years ago, just after the first baby was born. She was initially prescribed tablets and to a certain extent they were working more often than not. Then when the second baby come along, it knocked her for 6 again.

Over the last 7 years, this has now developed into manic depression. They tried her on numerous tablets & she eventually quit the tablets as she ended up sitting in the house most days not even getting dressed. I even came home from work some days and the kids would still be in their jimjams and no food at 6pm, they'd not even been out of the house on school hols.

This weighs heavily on someone who has to leave the house to work, resulting in me making various calls home during the day to ensure she and the kids were alright.

For the last 9 years she has been unable to work and has panic attacks when faced with challenging situations, this has resulted in a total loss of confidence and self esteem, she is a shadow of the girl i once knew.

Over the last few years i have been lucky in the fact i have a decent job and can moderately earn for both of us and i can now work from home, allowing me to keep an eye on things a little better.

From first hand experience, it is not easy living and dealing with someone who suffers from depression, but love, care, understanding and an overwhelming desire to try and regain some of the person you once knew make the journey worthwhile.

Moving story mate.

Bless you shady and good luck to you and your family in the future.

Well shared.

One thing I'm starting to understand and realise is the impact my illness has on other people.

Is she on a waiting list for something like CBT?