Funniest/wittiest replies to a question

[mancboy]

She may have been confused if the clocks had just gone back. Or forward come to think of it.

midday is the same regardless of the clocks, 12 o clock is always the same surely?

 

[Tuearts right boot]

midday is the same regardless of the clocks, 12 o clock is always the same surely?

midday is the same regardless of the clocks, 12 o clock is always the same surely?

You'd have thought so.....

 

[mancboy]

You'd have thought so.....

I think its a pitfall of working with the public , every time you think you've been asked the stupidest thing you will ever get asked somebody tops it and you just look aghast thinking how on earth do you get dressed in the morning without hurting yourself

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

Just a few days ago, when out riding my bike, some nob-head driver decided that priority traffic bollards didn't apply to him. I had to pull over to avoid him, he decided to wind down his window and shouted out "****". I shouted back, "I've been called the same"

 

[Brightwell’s left peg]

I was driving into the US from Canada to play golf. At the border the US border officer asked me if I was bringing anything into the US that I wouldn’t be taking back.

“About a dozen golf balls” I said, quite happy with myself and much to the amusement of my mates.

It was wasted though…I just got a shitty look and silence until I said…”no nothing”. Miserable cnut.

 

[Mr Fraser]

Lady astor? To winston Churchill - if you were my husband I would put poison in your coffee. To which he replied - if I was married to you I would drink it

 

[Winchester]

Gordon Strachan, was asked by a reporter, for a "quick word".
Wee Gordon, replied - velocity...

I liked the one where a journo asked him was he the right man to lead Celtic to glory
He looked into the Camera and seriously
Said
"No!"

 

[Koniec]

 

[crublue1]

I remember granada reports doing a piece on petrol prices, many years ago. They were stopping motorists as they drove off the forecourt, and asking for comments.
They stopped this one fella, and asked him if he was concerned that this particular station had the highest prices in the area.
His reply was priceless.
"Not really, seeing as I own it"

 

[Stephen230]

Norwegian reporter live on TV : Have you a message for all your fans in Norway, Paul ?

Paul Gascoigne: Yeah, fuck off Norway.