Either the globular-looking one has had his spinal column removed and replaced with a drink of water, or he genuinely believes the bovine excrement he scribbles each week. Either way he is obviously incapable of independent thought, and as such his opinions deserve to be given as much interest as a pharmacy assistant from Lapland whose only claim to fame is that he once entered Britain's Got Talent, got up on stage and began to recite every lyric to the songs of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young - in sign language (he didn't win because while he was performing his mute version of 'Woodstock' his left forefinger and thumb became embroiled in a nasty altercation, and subsequently interlocked themselves into the most impressive bowline knot you have ever seen. The pharmacy assistant was last observed howling in agony whilst his left hand fingers began to -for some unexplained reason- glow in the dark.)