Gary Speed has died

[intheknow!]

I have nothing against Speed and of course I feel terrible for his family. But this is an opinion based forum and why should what you feel and think be the only one that is allowed or matters? My point is that for a man with no history of depression or mental illness, no financial worries, no personal or employment problems etc (all the usual reasons for suicide) there must be a reason. Every person who commits suicide does so for a reason, whether they are mentally ill or other reasons I've mentioned, often financial problems so until we know why Speed did it I personally am uncomfortable with Gary Speed being portrayed in such a positive way.

My personal view is that he killed himself, his choice. Suicide is not an accident or a terrible tragedy, it's a choice. That's MY view not yours, fine. We all have different views and are entitled to express them. I'm not silencing you so stop trying to silence me.

 

[mackenzie]

I think the point is that nobody actually knows, but to then make a massive leap to assume something terrible is premature to say the least.

 

[Lucky Toma]

Written in anger Malg. I hope you know me from other posts. If not I am not usually that type of poster/person. Far fom it.

With the benefit of some PMs from people on here I have decided to leave the thread. She can nudge nudge wink wink all she wants.

Also come to the conclusion that she's an idiot which makes things a bit easier to take.

 

[GStar]

Its tough one.

Personally i think the kind of allegations being made in this thread are in poor taste and are probably best left to the comments section of the Daily Mail. On the other hand, different views are bound to come out and hear' say will be a big part of this story with it coming so much out of the blue.

I don't think threatening other posters will achieve anything, but perhaps a bit of common sense and decency in realising this has affected some people before contributing to this particular thread.

 

[TheMidnightBlue]

Re: I've pulled the Gary Speed thread temporarily......

Dammit I missed whatever went on :(

 

[cleavers]

I've tidied this up, lost the anger hopefully, and hopefully left the open opinions alone, but please can we avoid any further allegations/rumours/insinuation.

Its fine to have an opinion as to what may or may not have caused his suicide, but speculating at the moment is wrong. It will likely come out soon, and that will be the correct time to have that discussion.

Ta.

 

[SWP's back]

With regards to suicide being selfish/selfless it is a tough one.

It may seem selfless to the person that commits suicide but I have seen the effects on my mother, who's father shot himself when she was just 16. The night before, she had been studying for her GCSE (or equivalent) and she had stormed upstairs after having a go at him for having the TV on too loud.

In the morning she heard a shot, went down the stairs and found him, minus head (shotgun) in the courtyard of their cottage.

If there is a more selfish thing a person can do than that, then I do not know what. I don't think she has every truely forgiven herself to her last words to him being in anger and it completely ruined her adolescence. The anger I feel toward him is immense whether right or wrong.

I'm sure there are plenty of posters on here that have been through similar which is why suicide is an emotive subject and views can be highly polarised.

What I think about the whole subject is that it is incredibly sad and my thoughts are with his family and especially his kids.

 

[HolisticJim]

I agree, he may have "found peace" but his wife and kids never will.

Selfish act, no matter what the reason.

If you've never experienced the level of depression that leads to suicide then you have no clue what you are talking about.

I do know what I am talking about. I know what that moment feels like when you know (beyond a shadow of a doubt, because everything in your brain and your heart is telling you it is true) that you are so stupid and so worthless and so much trouble and such a shitty undeserving person that everyone would be better if you were gone.

And you can't get away from that feeling, it's everywhere, it surrounds you and colors every interaction you have, every relationship you have until doing anything but killing yourself seems incredibly, awfully selfish. Like staying alive just proves what an awful, horrific person you are. Like still being on earth is causing everyone you love so much trouble and hurt, and the only way to stop hurting them is to kill yourself.

I've been in that moment, and I was saved from it by an incredible person and an incredible team of doctors who did not call me selfish but instead treated the very real illness I was suffering from, just like they would have treated me if I had been dying of cancer.

I don't know if Gary Speed got to that moment, but if he did I can only mourn the fact that he died in so much pain and without being able to understand how loved he was.

This a beautifully heartfelt raw honest post. Really appreciate you sharing it.

Wow! That really made me think and adjust my views. I thought it was selfish but now I think differently. Thank you for sharing it.

 

[manimanc]

maybe he`d made his mind up a few days beforehand and was his normal self because he was happy with his own decision..

they do say that people who decide to commit suicide and have made their mind up act quite normal and seem fine to friends and family,obviously nobody can tell what is going on in their head and the mental turmoil that`s eaten or had been eating away at them..

i`m still in a state of numbness over gary speed,if the news had said that he`d died through natural causes you could take it better but to hear that he`d hung himself seemingly out of the blue was absolutely heart breaking,i started to cry when i heard the news and that shocked me as i`ve never met the man and don`t know him,i`m a football fan and he was a player who`d played against my team over the years and was now the manager of wales..

if me,a normal football fan and a stranger to the speed family was upset on hearing the tragic news then i can`t even begin to imagine what his parents,his wife and his two kids are going through at this moment in time..

the fact that xmas is around the corner has made this news even more upsetting....

 

[OB1]

If you have ever known someone that has committed suicide, you might well understand why some people describe it as a selfish act. I'm not going into detail but one of my in-laws who, unbeknownst to us, was suffering from depression took their own life. We certainly discussed whether we thought that was a selfish act. I could not tell you whether the suffering that the person involved was enduring was worse than the pain felt by those left behind but I can tell you that the after effects were not a pleasant experience for a number of people and nor were they short lived. My sympathy certainly goes to those who Gary speed left behind.