Genuine, Genuine Question...

[bernabias home shirt]

I can't begin to imagine where you're at right now, but I have an anecdote which may be helpful.

For me there is one thing in life that can give you meaning, and that is other people.

Everybody has their low points in life, and though I'm only 22 I am no exception, and I remember mine very well. It was back when I was 14 and I'd had a serious amount of surgery to fix problems that I won't go into in any great detail. Essentially, whilst the surgery was ongoing I wasn't allowed to eat or drink a thing, everything was intravenous. I had the initial surgery and things seemed to go well, but after a week I wasn't progressing, they took scans of me and decided I needed to go for more surgery. All through this I was being prodded and poked with needles, being scanned and having cameras/drains put in me on a daily basis. It was mentally exhausting.

I came out after the second surgery, and immediately knew something wasn't right. My decline progressed, my weight plummeted and I was a wretched thing to look at. They decided to take another scan, the results of which would determine if I'd go in for more surgery.

I still remember the look of anguish on my surgeons face as he approached my mum and I. I remember breaking down into uncontrollable tears, it just all became too much. I remember him saying to me "this is our last chance really, your body can't take any more surgery". It'd be potentially nearly 48 hours of surgery in a 10-day period.

That was my lowest point, and nothing will ever compare to it. The despair, just can't be described. I cried for two hours whilst they prepared to put me under the knife again. But this is the important part Seosa, I didn't just cry, I made myself a promise that would define the rest of my life to date and give me a purpose. I said to myself "If I ever get out of here, I'm going to live my life to repay the people who have helped me in my darkest hour." That meant my mum, my family, the surgeons. Everybody.

The final surgery went well, and I came out of the hospital after 6 weeks, 28 days of which I hadn't eaten or drunk a morsel, weighing 5 stone. It took me nearly two years to recover fully from that. During that time I set about achieving the goal I set myself, I worked hard to pass my GCSEs. I intended to get onto an A Level course, then university and then study science. I had decided that the only way to help repay everybody was to help humanity as a whole, and go into developing something that will make people's lives easier.

Now I'm here on the last year of my degree in mathematical physics at Edinburgh University. That goal I set myself 9 years ago has never been truer than it is today. I still intend to work in scientific development one day, but before that I want to make enough money to get my mum a holiday home and help out the rest of my family. I'm not saying every day of my life since has been easy, but I've never let my sights up from that goal and I will achieve it if it's the last thing I do. It is what makes life worth it... for me at least. I owe them everything.

So here is my advice to you. Make your lowest point the one that defines you. The one that gives your life a meaning and a goal. Don't let it be the end, but a new beginning. Let it be your motivator and let it be your inspiration. If you do this, like I have, then you will never again question if your life is worth it, because it is worth it as long as you have that promise you make to yourself.

Sorry for the long post but I hope it helps.

Great post
Lots more on here to that can see seosa through this i'm sure.

 

[mekonmcfc]

I can't begin to imagine where you're at right now, but I have an anecdote which may be helpful.

For me there is one thing in life that can give you meaning, and that is other people.

Everybody has their low points in life, and though I'm only 22 I am no exception, and I remember mine very well. It was back when I was 14 and I'd had a serious amount of surgery to fix problems that I won't go into in any great detail. Essentially, whilst the surgery was ongoing I wasn't allowed to eat or drink a thing, everything was intravenous. I had the initial surgery and things seemed to go well, but after a week I wasn't progressing, they took scans of me and decided I needed to go for more surgery. All through this I was being prodded and poked with needles, being scanned and having cameras/drains put in me on a daily basis. It was mentally exhausting.

I came out after the second surgery, and immediately knew something wasn't right. My decline progressed, my weight plummeted and I was a wretched thing to look at. They decided to take another scan, the results of which would determine if I'd go in for more surgery.

I still remember the look of anguish on my surgeons face as he approached my mum and I. I remember breaking down into uncontrollable tears, it just all became too much. I remember him saying to me "this is our last chance really, your body can't take any more surgery". It'd be potentially nearly 48 hours of surgery in a 10-day period.

That was my lowest point, and nothing will ever compare to it. The despair, just can't be described. I cried for two hours whilst they prepared to put me under the knife again. But this is the important part Seosa, I didn't just cry, I made myself a promise that would define the rest of my life to date and give me a purpose. I said to myself "If I ever get out of here, I'm going to live my life to repay the people who have helped me in my darkest hour." That meant my mum, my family, the surgeons. Everybody.

The final surgery went well, and I came out of the hospital after 6 weeks, 28 days of which I hadn't eaten or drunk a morsel, weighing 5 stone. It took me nearly two years to recover fully from that. During that time I set about achieving the goal I set myself, I worked hard to pass my GCSEs. I intended to get onto an A Level course, then university and then study science. I had decided that the only way to help repay everybody was to help humanity as a whole, and go into developing something that will make people's lives easier.

Now I'm here on the last year of my degree in mathematical physics at Edinburgh University. That goal I set myself 9 years ago has never been truer than it is today. I still intend to work in scientific development one day, but before that I want to make enough money to get my mum a holiday home and help out the rest of my family. I'm not saying every day of my life since has been easy, but I've never let my sights up from that goal and I will achieve it if it's the last thing I do. It is what makes life worth it... for me at least. I owe them everything.

So here is my advice to you. Make your lowest point the one that defines you. The one that gives your life a meaning and a goal. Don't let it be the end, but a new beginning. Let it be your motivator and let it be your inspiration. If you do this, like I have, then you will never again question if your life is worth it, because it is worth it as long as you have that promise you make to yourself.

Sorry for the long post but I hope it helps.

actually had goose bumps reading that, well done pal.

we've all had lows, my mum died when i was 10 so dont really know what its like to have a real loving mum that will do anything for you. Have a great step mum but it never replaces your own.

had 2 divorces, probably due to the fact i have underlying issues from losing my mum so young. but i keep bouncing back. Life is what you make it most of the time. Current bird of 2 and a half years is pssing me off and looks like we might split up today... but tomorrow is another day and ive got my sons football in the morning, then im out with the lads saturday night and City sunday !!!

 

[Seosa]

SBF's line "let your lowest point be the one that defines you", certainly strikes a chord.

 

[Lucky Toma]

Pull yourself together you lot, it's Friday. That's means drink, drugs and bitches. Get in!

Amen to that, the smell of lavender in this thread has brought the gayness levels to an all time high in the cellar.

*hugs it out*

Seosa, how you feeling today bud? How do you feel about starting the thread? Are you glad you did? Took guts and an openness that will see you right through life.

 

[pominoz]

Seosa, from your posts you seem to be a youngish man (under 30), life may seem shit now, but it can change so quickly.
I am nearing 50 and look back in 7 to 10 year stages of my life, each in its own way has been rewarding, but very difficult at times.

0-10, abusive upbringing, what can you do?

10-15, less abuse as the old man was kicked out, but a few "partners" of my mother moving in and out. Left home at 15.

15-21, worked many different jobs, ending up as a garbo (binman) living in a council flat. Making my own way, of sorts.

21-31, met an Aussie girl,married and moved to Aus, lived in one of the most wealthy suburbs of Melbourne. Bought 12 acres with two newish house's on it.Life is good.

31-37, divorced, living in a small room above a derelict pub, Partner committed suicide in front of me. Life not good.

37-now, met my now wife, have two beautiful kids and have never been happier.

What i am getting at, is that you never know what is around the corner, but most of life is what YOU make of it. You do not like your life?, do something about it, you are young enough and from your post's smart enough to change it.
Save up and travel/work oversea's, find what you really want to do ( fuck the money, do what you love), as other's have said, you only have one go at this, do it your way.
Best of luck, blue

 

[Seosa]

Toma; A bit, pal. Fragile but better. I am glad I started it tbh, I've always been an upfront person but reading other stories puts mine into context. I'm immensely grateful to everybody because I really didn't want to be seen as attention seeking.

Pom; Another story that makes you think, bud. To give information like that takes guts, and if I did mine it'd make things clearer but I don't have the nerve.

I'm just glad the response was positive.

 

[racingeye]

Toma; A bit, pal. Fragile but better. I am glad I started it tbh, I've always been an upfront person but reading other stories puts mine into context. I'm immensely grateful to everybody because I really didn't want to be seen as attention seeking.

Pom; Another story that makes you think, bud. To give information like that takes guts, and if I did mine it'd make things clearer but I don't have the nerve.

I'm just glad the response was positive.

asking for advice/help in a situation where you are struggling is not attention seeking, its exactly what it says on the tin...asking for advice/help
its better than keeping it all locked up inside you to slowly eat away at you

 

[didactic]

[bigimg]http://thefortuno.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/The_Suicide_Series_12.jpg[/bigimg]

Why did this crack me up so much? hahahaha

Life has its up and downs its a woman then you die but its fantastic. I love every second of it.

 

[Lucky Toma]

Toma; A bit, pal. Fragile but better. I am glad I started it tbh, I've always been an upfront person but reading other stories puts mine into context. I'm immensely grateful to everybody because I really didn't want to be seen as attention seeking.

Pom; Another story that makes you think, bud. To give information like that takes guts, and if I did mine it'd make things clearer but I don't have the nerve.

I'm just glad the response was positive.

Good on yer kidda. It does you an enormous credit that you feel that way (about things being put into context) but it's also true that the most important story to you will always be yours. Take good care of it.

Been some extraordianry replies but Poms touches on a crucial point I think. That life isn't a whole but rather a series of stages.
When I was in my early thirties my mum called around to find me curled up on the sofa crying my eyes out. She and everyone else had no idea I'd been doing that for a while.

Now I look back on that time and it feels like another person entirely. Because in a way it was.

Things never stay the same for good or bad Seosa and it doesnt take any earth-shattering events to change things - although those suggesting coaching footy in the US etc speak a lot of sense considering your age. Life evolves, you evolve.

Think of it this way - every seven years you are literally a different person apart from your teeth. Biologically every molecule in your body is different to what it was a few years before.

All the best mate.

 

[Josh Blue]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaxrQAv1S38[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSW6qtH5UvU[/youtube]

I hope you like these mate.

Keep writing your blog.

Delete facebook if you have it.

We've all been there man, don't worry.