Grown adult kids at home

[LangleyBlue1970]

Youngest daughter 27, went to university,then travelled for a year, then her and her then fiancé came back to live with us to save for a house.Took almost 2 years but they saved almost 20k and brought their own house last September. Son 34, been at home all his life, not saved a penny until last September, he's been given (byme and the Mrs. ) an opportunity to save and earn more money, he's been put on 100 weeks notice so by August 2025 he's got to move out. Currently able to save £180-00 per week, I'm trying to demonstrate to him he can save and can in time pay a mortgage. His needs for property are simple a studio apartment will do.

34. Not a slight on you this, but fuck me. 34.

By the sounds of it I’m going to have to be a lot more tolerant. Give him a deadline, too.

 

[Scottyboi]

34. Not a slight on you this, but fuck me. 34.

By the sounds of it I’m going to have to be a lot more tolerant. Give him a deadline, too.

Haha I'm running a house with 3 kids and another on the way at 34. Couldn't imagine still living at home with mum and dad at that age ffs.

 

[mancboy]

The longer you stay living with your parents, the more of a useless pussy you will be later in life.
I left home at 12.

And yet you're still a useless pussy, theres always an exception to the rule ;)

 

[LangleyBlue1970]

Haha I'm running a house with 3 kids and another on the way at 34. Couldn't imagine still living at home with mum and dad at that age ffs.

It’s been interesting the different dynamics.

After the initial separation from my ex wife around 9 years ago I went back home on my mums orders. Early 40s. It was more a recuperative period but fuck me, as appreciative as I was, those 2 weeks were enough.

 

[Scottyboi]

It’s been interesting the different dynamics.

I'd be happy to let them stay in their twenties whilst they save up, as I know how hard it is to afford a deposit these days. But 34 is taking the piss unless they're disabled or struggling mentally.

 

[SkyBlueFlux]

Lots of people will talk about letting kids save and not asking for rent. Big caveat - I am not a parent and I'm not criticising anybody for doing that because it comes from a good place, but I personally think this is a mistake and why a lot of kids get too comfortable at home.

When I came back from uni at 22 I had an agreement with my mum that I would get a job as soon as possible, and as soon as I had one that I would pay her the market rate for rent. Firstly, because it felt like the right thing to do, my mum is not well-off and can't afford me being a freeloader eating her food. And secondly, because then it would motivate me to build up my earnings and find my own place. As long as there are benefits to being at home I'm probably the kind of person who would just stay there enjoying the gravy train and not putting the effort in to do better.

I ended up moving out exactly one year later, had a temporary job to get some experience and then used that to find a much better one in Manchester city centre with a decent salary. Honestly, if I hadn't done it that way, I don't think I'd be where I am now ten years later with a wife, my own house, car and a good career.

If you want to contribute to deposits, I think that's commendable, but make them pay rent, stick it in an account and gift it back to them one day when they're ready.

 

[Barcon]

And yet you're still a useless pussy, theres always an exception to the rule ;)

I gave it my best shot mate ; )

 

[LangleyBlue1970]

Lots of people will talk about letting kids save and not asking for rent. Big caveat - I am not a parent and I'm not criticising anybody for doing that because it comes from a good place, but I personally think this is a mistake and why a lot of kids get too comfortable at home.

When I came back from uni at 22 I had an agreement with my mum that I would get a job as soon as possible, and as soon as I had one that I would pay her the market rate for rent. Firstly, because it felt like the right thing to do, my mum is not well-off and can't afford me being a freeloader eating her food. And secondly, because then it would motivate me to build up my earnings and find my own place. As long as there are benefits to being at home I'm probably the kind of person who would just stay there enjoying the gravy train and not putting the effort in to do better.

I ended up moving out exactly one year later, had a temporary job to get some experience and then used that to find a much better one in Manchester city centre with a decent salary. Honestly, if I hadn't done it that way, I don't think I'd be where I am now ten years later with a wife, my own house, car and a good career.

If you want to contribute to deposits, I think that's commendable, but make them pay rent, stick it in an account and gift it back to them one day when they're ready.

I do take ‘rent’ off my son. In effect I’m at home 10% if the time so he has a 3 bed house with all bills included for the price he pays. The issue is as he is choosing to earn part time he can’t save, so it’s catch 22.

 

[Thaksins Love Child]

I moved out a few times to live with gf's, mates etc but didn't finally move out for the last time until I was about 30.

My sister is 42 and still at my dads. At least I was wasting my money on nights out etc. She just lives in her bedroom and will never leave. She's left a couple of times but I think that's it now. My dad charges her next to nothing but she's so bad at saving money. They are stuck with each other.

I've suggested getting her name down with the local housing for a flat but for someone who is working class, she's a snobby fucker.

 

[Stephen Ireland's pants]

My 12 year old daughter is under the impression she's getting a flat in town when she's 16 . Oh to be young and naive again. I would help her move out as she's doing my head in . In reality I will put her on the council housing list for her 16th birthday. So I reckon another ten years and counting.