This is my fear. I don’t want it and nor does he. I’ve used the phrase I’ll be cruel to be kind of he keeps disrespecting the place. By that I mean off you pop and go and declare yourself homeless.I moved out a few times to live with gf's, mates etc but didn't finally move out for the last time until I was about 30.
My sister is 42 and still at my dads. At least I was wasting my money on nights out etc. She just lives in her bedroom and will never leave. She's left a couple of times but I think that's it now. My dad charges her next to nothing but she's so bad at saving money. They are stuck with each other.
I've suggested getting her name down with the local housing for a flat but for someone who is working class, she's a snobby fucker.
I do take ‘rent’ off my son. In effect I’m at home 10% if the time so he has a 3 bed house with all bills included for the price he pays. The issue is as he is choosing to earn part time he can’t save, so it’s catch 22.
You’re spot on in that last paragraph, mate. It is exactly why I did the thread, to read something like that. In the scheme of things, this isn’t real world problems, but my god it is frustrating, worrying and down right irritating.Yeah, I get that - it's not an enviable situation.
I guess my broader point is it's all about motivation - my prime motivation was my mum who had sacrificed an incredible amount to raise three kids including one with complex disabilities (me) single-handedly. I could never hope to pay her back for that, so the least I could do was make sure her investment into us didn't go to waste. That bond and desire to make her proud is as unbreakable as diamond to me. Earning part-time and hanging around aimlessly just wasn't an option.
You know your son's motivations better than anybody. You have to leverage those, sometimes that might mean applying a bit of pressure and making life a bit harder in the short-term for longer-term benefit. But I appreciate it's much easier to say than do.
The fact he only wants part time works suggests he's happy with the situation. Like you say, if your not there 90% of the time, he's pretty much got his own place for a fraction of the price and effort.This is my fear. I don’t want it and nor does he. I’ve used the phrase I’ll be cruel to be kind of he keeps disrespecting the place. By that I mean off you pop and go and declare yourself homeless.
I’m in no position to help him financially, but even if I was he isn’t helping himself either so I wouldn’t.
My daughter, by the way, is the complete opposite. The one I don’t have to worry about in this way.
Some of the young ones at our office pay their parents £100 a month! That was the going rate for me 35 years ago! Loads of young adults live with their parents down my street as is clear by the number of cars parked everywhere. Brand new Audi’s, Golf’s etc etc. I dread to think what my daughter’s (13) generation will be like. I am really hoping she goes to Uni and becomes independent quickly.
When I bought my first house with my missus at the time, we didn’t have a pot to piss in. Everything went on the 15% mortgage and a night out was mates around for a homemade curry and a couple of cans. I keep hearing it’s so expensive blah blah blah but it was then! I was out at 18 and owned a house at 20.
Worked for Moses....Being dropped on the doorstep of Barnados by your parents isn't really leaving home.
I bought my first one when I was 20 but in those days you could get a 100% mortgage. Not sure if it's possible nowadays. If not, I guess you'd need a loan/gift of some sort from family to pay the deposit.So a 20 year old could buy a house now?
My son has got a fair whack saved …a good 10% deposit …however now need a bank that will lend him 6 or 7 times his salary! Not happening and not really sure what the answer is unless they go for a shared ownership on a new build.Saving 3 grand a year (a few hundred quid each month) ain't getting them squat. They are having you over Mrs/Mr Bloomers. Bung them 15k* each for the deposit or they are yours for life.
*2nd job :-)