lazza
Well-Known Member
It's tough, but whatever you do don't give up.
We have twin girls, who are eight now, but between 2 years and 4 years old it was difficult. It's the age that their personalities start to come out, so you can't suppress too much of it, but you also have to teach kids what is acceptable and what is not. We used the naughty step, but only sparingly, we never ever hit our kids, and we rarely lost control so far that we were screaming at them. But from very early on, they knew the boundaries, and they knew the consequences of crossing the boundary.
If any particular thing is causing a problem - such as meal time - make sure you explain very clearly and simply to your girl before every meal what you expect of her, why you want her to behave in a certain way, and what the consequences are for not behaving as you expect. Even if a lot of it goes over her head, it's an important stage in making sure kids understand that they need to behave a certain way for a reason, not just because you say so. And if the limits you set are broken, you must follow through with the consequence. But if the rules are followed, be very generous with your praise, and in the right circumstances, have some kind of reward ready (e.g. 5 dinners this week without a tantrum and you'll make a cake together/let her watch her favourite Dora the explorer DVD/take her to the soft play).
Someone else also mentioned diversion. You need to know the warning signs, and try really hard not to rise to anything that usually winds you up, but instead try to find a way to distract her. Supermarkets are a great place for a total melt-down for two-year-olds, but also full of things to distract kids, especially if they are already toddling ("Find me the biggest potato you can" or "let's find bottle of beer with animals on the front!")
And even after all that, accept the fact that, like you, they will have moods. But unlike you, they can't always express everything, so a lot of emotions come out as anger. If you can't stop it, and can't prevent it, try to listen, try to find out what the problem is.
We have twin girls, who are eight now, but between 2 years and 4 years old it was difficult. It's the age that their personalities start to come out, so you can't suppress too much of it, but you also have to teach kids what is acceptable and what is not. We used the naughty step, but only sparingly, we never ever hit our kids, and we rarely lost control so far that we were screaming at them. But from very early on, they knew the boundaries, and they knew the consequences of crossing the boundary.
If any particular thing is causing a problem - such as meal time - make sure you explain very clearly and simply to your girl before every meal what you expect of her, why you want her to behave in a certain way, and what the consequences are for not behaving as you expect. Even if a lot of it goes over her head, it's an important stage in making sure kids understand that they need to behave a certain way for a reason, not just because you say so. And if the limits you set are broken, you must follow through with the consequence. But if the rules are followed, be very generous with your praise, and in the right circumstances, have some kind of reward ready (e.g. 5 dinners this week without a tantrum and you'll make a cake together/let her watch her favourite Dora the explorer DVD/take her to the soft play).
Someone else also mentioned diversion. You need to know the warning signs, and try really hard not to rise to anything that usually winds you up, but instead try to find a way to distract her. Supermarkets are a great place for a total melt-down for two-year-olds, but also full of things to distract kids, especially if they are already toddling ("Find me the biggest potato you can" or "let's find bottle of beer with animals on the front!")
And even after all that, accept the fact that, like you, they will have moods. But unlike you, they can't always express everything, so a lot of emotions come out as anger. If you can't stop it, and can't prevent it, try to listen, try to find out what the problem is.