How to turn Men down....

[unsworthblue]

hinge and bracket were quite good.

And how could you forget Dame Edna.

you beat me to it manclad.please no one say lily savage as she was not funny in the slightest

 

[blue jim]

If a woman said any of those to me I'd be after her even more.

My cup of tea, that piss taking lark.

 

[blue jim]

A woman wrote those.

Women are sh*t at comedy as a rule.

I agree, jo brand sucks arse.

Along with that, they can't

Drive
Open Jars
Anything really.

Nor do they have any reason or logic.

Ironic that they're best used in the kitchen but they cant open their own jars to make my dinner. Women!

 

[Trev-the-Blue]

Him: I woundn't mind a piece of you darlin

Her: Sorry i already have one c@#t in my knickers i don't need another

 

[bluemoonchick]

man says to wife: i don't understand it but everytime i look in the mirror i get an erection...

wife: because even your cock thinks your a cnut!

 

[Clubber]

Ironic that they're best used in the kitchen but they cant open their own jars to make my dinner. Women!

Ha ha ha. Thats great. Never thought of it like that.

 

[blueinkwell]

Young lad to older woman: Do you want to dance.

Her: I'm not dancing with a kid.

Him: Sorry love didn't know you were pregnant.

 

[Blue Si O.B]

HIM : would you like to come to my place for a cup of coffee
HER : oh, id love to
HIM: ill have two sugars in mine thanks
:)

 

[davymcfc]

here was my chat up line

heres my number put it in your phone!

3 years later we are still together

 

[lostmyhouseski]

There are very few funny female comedians, I'm not entirely sure why. The only one that comes straight to my mind is Victoria Wood.

maybe its the predictability - only so many jokes about pms, menopause, giving birth/kids etc that you can take!