Joke of the Week!

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her.

Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for £5 million."

"For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."

Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"

*dons hat, coat (with the collar turned up) and dark glasses and vacates the premises*
 
Gianfranco Zola goes to the doctors and puts a Buzz Lightyear figure on the desk. Doctor says "Whats that for?" Zola says "you told-a me to-a bring-a in a speciman?"
 
Two dyslexics sat in the kitchen.One says to the other"Can you smell gas?"
The other one says"Smell gas?....are you mad i cant even smell me own name!"












Taxi!..................
 
Greiver said:
der-bomber said:
Whats the (buffering 16 %).....best way (buffering 34%).....to lose (buffering 52%)....a (buffering 78%)......hard-on ? (buffering 100%).


lol dear god your serious! :D

Course l am f-ucking serious ,you lightweight, thats why l posted it on the Joke thread.

FYI ,I can maintain a stiffy through any amount of buffering...
 

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