Joke thread

[beehive_bob]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

If pronouncing my If pronouncing my Bs as Vs makes me sound Russian, then soviet.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

“Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
”So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
”Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
”Fuck off!"

 

[Hayley Croppers chopper]

“Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
”So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
”Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
”Fuck off!"

So ridiculous it is hilarious

 

[Bill Walker]

This farmer came up to me and said "I have 68 sheep, could you round them up for me"?

"Certainly" I said.

"Seventy"

 

[LWashington]

View attachment 40600

Don't forget Nuke Asshole United.

 

[LWashington]

scientists have found a way to run cars on parsley.they are also hopeful of running buses on thyme

Mint idea.

 

[JRockBlues]

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.​

One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and pauses, then he yells, "Was I going up the stairs or coming down?"
The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having coffee listening to his brothers. He shakes his head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." He knocks on wood for good luck. He then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

 

[Bill Walker]