Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
unexpected item
Well-Known Member
Saw this on twitter..
Started a new job as an apprentice roofer this week.
First day, I got caught masturbating on the job.
Fortunately for me, the gaffer agreed to wipe the slate clean.
Started a new job as an apprentice roofer this week.
First day, I got caught masturbating on the job.
Fortunately for me, the gaffer agreed to wipe the slate clean.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Forgive me for this....
chris85mcfc
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- Joined
- 28 Jun 2013
- Messages
- 6,948
I'm an ugly bugger, but somehow managed to get myself a date with a travel agent...
I'd imagine I'm her last resort...
I'd imagine I'm her last resort...
BigJoe#1
Well-Known Member
Nicked but I thought it was nicking...
I drove around a sharp bend yesterday and nearly hit a broken down ice cream van.... I thought it was really inconsiderate of him not to put some cones out....
I drove around a sharp bend yesterday and nearly hit a broken down ice cream van.... I thought it was really inconsiderate of him not to put some cones out....
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Little Johnny's teacher asks him to tell the class a story with a moral in it.
So Johnny says, “One day at the farm, a chicken and horse were playing together. The horse falls into quicksand, and he implores the chicken to go get the farmer. He can’t find him anywhere, so he jumps into his BMW, backs it up near the horse, throws a rope around the horse, and pulls him out.
The next day, they are playing together again, but this time the chicken falls into the quicksand. The chicken says, “Quick, go get the car and pull me out.”
The horse looks into the distance, and sees that the farmer has taken the car. So he straddles over the hole, the chicken grabs his penis, and the horse pulls him out.”
The teacher is confused. “Okay, Johnny, but what’s the moral of the story?” she says.
Johnny replies: “If you’re hung like a horse, you don’t need a BMW to pick up chicks…”
So Johnny says, “One day at the farm, a chicken and horse were playing together. The horse falls into quicksand, and he implores the chicken to go get the farmer. He can’t find him anywhere, so he jumps into his BMW, backs it up near the horse, throws a rope around the horse, and pulls him out.
The next day, they are playing together again, but this time the chicken falls into the quicksand. The chicken says, “Quick, go get the car and pull me out.”
The horse looks into the distance, and sees that the farmer has taken the car. So he straddles over the hole, the chicken grabs his penis, and the horse pulls him out.”
The teacher is confused. “Okay, Johnny, but what’s the moral of the story?” she says.
Johnny replies: “If you’re hung like a horse, you don’t need a BMW to pick up chicks…”
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I read a headline the other day about a bloke who lost a bet and had to eat a clock.
I didn't read the full article, it was too time consuming.
I didn't read the full article, it was too time consuming.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I failed a job interview last week.
Apparently, a gangbang isn't evidence of working in a team.
Apparently, a gangbang isn't evidence of working in a team.
bluethrunthru
Well-Known Member
dronefromsector7G
Well-Known Member
dronefromsector7G
Well-Known Member
sir baconface
Well-Known Member
sir baconface
Well-Known Member
He died peacefully yesterday at the age of 83.
sir baconface
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A small boy felt sick in the middle of the church service. His mother told him to rush to the bathroom if he felt like throwing up.
A couple of minutes later he returned.
“Did ou throw up?” Mother asked?
“Yes” said the boy.
“Did you make it to the bathroom” she asked next.
”No need to,” he replied, “I found the box in the entryway that said ‘For The Sick” and that was closer.”
A couple of minutes later he returned.
“Did ou throw up?” Mother asked?
“Yes” said the boy.
“Did you make it to the bathroom” she asked next.
”No need to,” he replied, “I found the box in the entryway that said ‘For The Sick” and that was closer.”
